Money Doesn't Give You Class: Breeder Rudeness (long)

(long 'n rambling! Topic: rudeness of breeders)

I love to watch stuff on Youtube and Liveleak; we don't have cable and our ancient TV gets one snowy channel from Toronto so meh. Anyways, last night I got hooked on watching episodes of "Trading Spouses," the show in which (as you know; forgive my pop cultural illiteracy) moms from 2 families swap houses & families for a week.

So one show dealt with a super-rich white Massachusetts family swapping with a lower middle-class black Harlem family. It was pretty good; the show touched on some racial and class issues exposed by the swap that were pretty engrossing and interesting. Anyways, here's my point finally!

So the white family decides to have a BBQ party because things are a bit tense around the house and they don't really know how to incorporate Octavia (the Harlem mom). Here's what struck me. These white people have soft and luxurious lives. They can afford anything and have the time to pursue what they like (based on what little glimpses of their lives I saw on the show). You would think they might have a mind full of good literature, opera, music, cool pursuits, and other pleasures of those with time and money, and would engage Octavia in talk about these or other things that might draw her out in conversation. You'd also think that people who have had all of life's advantages would know that the epitome of good manners is to always make other people (especially those different from you) comfortable and at ease, especially in situations unfamiliar to them.

That's what Miss Manners taught me, anyways. Do the white BBQ attendees do so?

Oh, you know the answer. How I cringed to see that their ONLY topic of conversation was...rudely and blatantly grilling her to find out how old she was when she had her first child (18). That's it! That was their sole point of interest regarding someone who presumably could have told them all about one of the most storied regions of New York. Harlem Renaissance, anyone? God, it was RUDE. Octavia bore this with quiet good grace but you could tell she was really intimidated, and she finally left the BBQ early.

Some of the smirks and sniggers on these people's faces (guy in green shirt, please go away) made me angry. They were comfortable in their ignorance and didn't even think to try and find out about someone they otherwise would probably never meet. And the vapidity of their interest in her reproductive history was appalling. If that's all they can find to talk about, when they could afford every cultural advantage in the world, then....that's truly pathetic.

Just maybe had there been a CF person there, that person might have realized there's more to talk about than just kids and could have engaged her in actual POLITE conversation. Gah.

Thanks for listening to my rant. Here's the episode in question:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6LQA-8R8Ao&feature=related

I've noticed that too. Etiquette and manners are not to be used as a club with which to bash someone and intimidate them, but to make them feel more comfortable.

Jill Spiegel said once, "Rich people are too well bred to be rude." Much as I love her books, sorry, I disagree. Some are, but the majority are not.

Etiquette and manners are not to be used as a club with which to bash someone and intimidate them, but to make them feel more comfortable.

Yeah, I definitely agree. I personally think that the better your manners are, the more imperceptible they are, in making someone else feel comfortable in a group setting. Eh, this got under my skin...

Aw, Man!Definitely! I certainly would have spoken with the lady before to see if she would be comfortable with a BBQ. Secondly, I would have read up a bit on Harlem and asked her about things in the history of Harlem. I would do what I could to draw her out and make HER the STAR of the event--make her the focus but in a positive way. I certainly would not have permitted them to treat her as she was treated. How fucking rude can you get?! Money does NOT give ANYONE to treat another person like shit!!!

Money and manners do NOT go hand in hand whether someone is wealthy or poor. I have known SLOBS from all socio-economic walks of life and their level of rudeness and comments they can make never ceases to amaze me. My mother has had the same maid since the early 1970's who put three kyds through college and has an alkie husband she has to bail out of jail every other weekend and holidays. She lives in the ghetto and isn't formally educated, but is one of the most gracious and polite people I have ever known. She does work for some of the wealthier people as well in town and man has she told us some stories over the years.

While there were many, two stand out in my mind. One is this couple who are both doctors, have 4 kyds, and live in a mansion with eight bathrooms, just to give you an idea. Those kyds have always said things to her like, "Here, take my plate while you are just standing there", or "bring me a coke", while they sit on their asses, when she would be vaccuming or something. They ALL just leave their clothes wherever they undress for her to pick up, rather than use one of their NUMEROUS wall hampers, they leave plates of food in their rooms, on the side tables, etc.....and the couple has actually left USED CONDOMS, on and under their beds for her to clean up. It isn't like she comes in every day, like hotel maid/room service, she only comes in once a week to do "cleaning" NOT pick up after them hand or wait on them hand and foot. But, she needs the money, they pay well, and they know it. They are very condescending to her and treat her like shit, as do their kyds.

The other one I remember is one of those "blue blood" old women who lives in an AnteBellum home like on Gone with the Wind. This woman has more money than God, but is rude and cheaper than than a trailer trash whore. She will "dock" her pay if she leaves ten minutes before her four hours are up, and once she ate the maid's lunch. She doesn't allow the maid to make a sandwich while on duty or otherwise consume any of her food, which most all other households expect and even encourage. So, she brings a sack lunch. One day it was gone and she asked the old bitch if she had seen it or moved it. She replied, "Yes I did see it and I was hungry so I ate it and it was QUITE good! You MUST give me the recipe for that chicken salad".

That attitude makes me sick. We had a cleaning lady, and I was NOT permitted to call her by her first name...I didn't know what it was, but she said Miss Ann was fine, so that is what I called her. I was not allowed to be rude to her...I was required to treat her as I would any adult with RESPECT. She was a great cook and was willing to stay after once a month to cook something for us...my parents paid exptra because, and it was made certain that I understood the principle: if someone works over their normally scheduled agreed upon hours, you PAY them.

Those people that that lady works for deserve to have their asses kicked in. She is an employee, not a slave! It does prove that money and class are not synonymous. I found this out first hand during a two-year stint cleaning houses for a living.

clematis Wrote:
------------------------------------------------------
>
> Oh, you know the answer. How I cringed to see that
> their ONLY topic of conversation was...rudely and
> blatantly grilling her to find out how old she was
> when she had her first child (18). That's it! That
> was their sole point of interest regarding someone
> who presumably could have told them all about one
> of the most storied regions of New York. Harlem
> Renaissance, anyone?

Because the only thing that moos and breeders find interesting about a woman, is what she did with her uterus.

I think asking age questions in general is just rude, anyway.

Moos and breeders are, by defintition, rude, asking questions which are none of their damned business.

There's an apocryphal story that Queen Victoria once drank from the finger bowl at a state banquet. She had to. Her guest had done so first, and she didn't want to embarrass him.

Cristabel.

Bless Queen Victoria...now THERE was a LADY!

Oh yes! Bless Queen Victoria...now THERE was a LADY!

One type of breeder that I hate a step above some of the others are the ones who have this smug attitude that they are somehow "untouchable" because hubby has a great job, they have life and health insurance, and 1.5 story home, a sports car, an SUV, and 3.5 kyds. There is a 26 y/o SHAM who I have become acquainted with who has never worked and she has 3 brats ages 4,2,and 1 y.o and one on the way. I sense, judging by her comments and smug demeanor, that she probably grew up in a white trash trailer park and since she is from rural West Virgina, that would seem likely. She brags ALL the time about how "well off" they are and her husband is a general Manager at the Cracker Barrel. I have a cousin who is a REGIONAL manager for Cracker Barrel, so I know approximately how much the man makes and how being in managemnet for that company works.

Basically, you are their property in that in order to advance you must relocate a good bit and to where ever they transfer you and generally, there isn't much notice. So, that right there blows her bragging about how in "just a few short years", they are going to stop moving around so much and "settle down" once "the boys" are in school, and they will have their pick of where, another lie. The highest paid general manager in this area makes about 45k, but they DO have good benefits and 45k is nothing to spit at. However, if you calculate their expenses, that doesn't leave much left over. If her husband becomes disabled or loses his job and can't get a comparable one, she will be looking at a GREATLY reduced income and since she has never worked and has no marketable skills or much education, that would leave her dependent on welfare and medicaid for those kyds. It's easy to lose a job like that as there are HUNDREDS of store managers and assistant managers waiting in the wings for a promotion and for a lot less money too. There is a pretty high turnover in the restaurant management business, so I wouldn't say he has a huge amount of job security either.

To hear her talk about it though, you would think that he was the major shareholder of Cracker Barrel instead of one of THOUSANDS of their employees at a management level. She berates other people, she sticks her nose up in the air about the businesses and lifestyle of many in this area like farmers, and we have a great many tobacco and cattle farms in this area. If the little twit had a lick of sense, then she would realize that most of those "dirty farmers" ( how she speaks of their appearance, when they come into town sometimes while working for supplies) probably have more cash under their mattress than her hubby will make in his entire career at the Cracker Barrel. Anyway, I hate snooty people like that who look down on others, THINK they are "hoity toity", and act like they "have money", when they CLEARLY are/have neither and are probably only a paycheck away from losing what little they DO have.

Queen Vickie ROCKS!

kidlesskim, those are the WORST! The breeders who came from very poor, white trash backgrounds who have roped/trapped their rich mayun and are now too good for everyone else.

An old roommate of mine is like that. From the slate belt of PA, poor, divorced family. After her fiancee dumped her (after cheating on her with a 19 year old) she moved to Clearwater FL to live with mommy (who was also a gold digger).

Landed herself a rich lawyer and hatched 2 shit loaves. I talk to our other roommate on occasion. Miss THANG doesn't work, lives in a $1.5m on a golf course and is still as bitchy, snotty, and entitled as she was in the early 90's when we all lived together.

All I can say is poor hubby. She was a bossy bitch with the fiancee that we all knew, which is pretty much the reason he cheated on/dumped her.

I lived in an area with people who were of "old" money. They were mostly all pretty nice people, very nonpretentious (drove older cars, dressed casually, treated others as equals.)

When I moved to the area I'm in now, I've had to deal with the new money moos. SAHMoos with a doctor, lawyer, or other big money job as a husband/wallet. What RUDE, entitled, bitches, and their kids are rude too!

MerlynHerne Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Moos and breeders are, by defintition, rude,
> asking questions which are none of their damned
> business.

This. invasive in all ways.