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Moo jumps on father for discipling her kid

Posted by cfdavep 
Moo jumps on father for discipling her kid
March 02, 2019

Apparently the father took his two kids to a party for kids and another kid bit one of his kids. Father gets cross at biter and kid gets fright over adult getting cross. Moo jumps on him for it.

Kids today have no experience with unpleasantness
Re: Moo jumps on father for discipling her kid
March 03, 2019
Reason 145,678 why I'm glad I'm not a parent, because social norms now dictate that one is supposed to apologize for yelling at a brat who was BITING SOMEONE.

This is what the advice columnist told the father to do. Are you fucking kidding me?


Invite the biter and his mom over for a playdate with your daughter. I know it sounds crazy but there are some good reasons for this. First off, asking them back helps everyone (your daughter, the biter, the biter’s mom, and your wife) understand that second chances are important. The invitation is an olive branch. It’s saying: let’s have a do-over in a more stable environment.

When mom and biter arrive, be warm. Be friendly. And then when the kids are set up, apologize to the mom for yelling at her kid. You don’t need to throw in any caveats about how you were trying to protect your daughter, just apologize, sincerely. And then, ask her if you can talk with her son and explain why you yelled. You’ll be doing him a huge service. It will be incredibly good for him to see a big man admit he made a mistake. It might help him build empathy or soothe any residual guilt. I know he’s not your kid, but he’s a kid in your orbit. And parenting should never just be about our own kids. We need to look out for each other or it gets far more lonely and difficult than it has to be.

Once it’s all over and everybody has shaken hands and hugged it out, put it in the past and get on with your life. Just keep the yelling to a minimum.
Re: Moo jumps on father for discipling her kid
March 03, 2019
I had a similar experience with my sister and her kids. Short version--4 year old son known to have rage and biting issues. Mon carrying 2 year old sleeping girl into store, son must be jealous so he takes a chunk out of girl's dangling leg. I scooped the little beast up ,set him in a shopping cart and wheeled him around a bit while my sister comforted the crying girl. One the way I gave him moderately mean looks and said things like "NEVER do that again" (NOT yelling, more muttering ). Of course the indulged and otherwise worshiped little bas*ard started crying. SO I bring him back to my sister and she moves the VICTIM off her lap and takes him on to comfort HIM!! Sheesh! She was big on "now, use your words--don't biitte" . I said "don't you ever lose it and YELL at them?"(as you should, I think)
Eventually he became addicted to computer games for years (wouldn't want to actually REMOVE and lock up the computer or anything), and had to be sent to wilderness camps and other therapeutic settings for an extremely expensive year at 15. In therapy he admitted he had been physically abusing his sister for all those years, threatening her if she told anyone. In his mid-twenties now he has finally eased into food service and gotten a full time job. We shall see.
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