The NY Times Gets It Right August 21, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
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NY Times
This Bridge Called My Back
I work for a successful, fast-growing technology company. There are times when some corporate “crisis” requires that a number of us lean in more in terms of office hours. My married, straight co-workers with children can easily bow out — while as a gay, single and child-free person, I get left with extra work because I am seen as not having responsibilities at home. I’m not unsympathetic to the difficulties my co-workers have in balancing work and life, but why does it have to be balanced on my back?
— Anonymous
Everyone has difficulties with work/life balance. Marriage and children, which are not solely heterosexual conditions, are not the only responsibilities people have in their personal lives. Being single and/or child-free does not mean that your primary commitment is to your career. You have every right to push back when you are imposed upon like this. Either everyone is responsible for extra work, or no one is. Your co-workers do not get to categorically decide that you have the time to handle the company’s crises because your life is arranged differently than theirs.
You don’t even need to offer an explanation. Maybe you’re taking care of older parents. Maybe you have a new puppy. Maybe you just want to sit on your couch and stare into the void. What you do with your free time is your business. You are your own family, and your responsibilities to yourself matter. The next time you’re asked to take on responsibilities that should be shared among the entire staff, bring up this issue. You can explain that you’re willing to be a team player but that you cannot be the only person on the team. Boundaries, my friend. Develop boundaries and enforce them.
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Re: The NY Times Gets It Right August 24, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,367 |
Re: The NY Times Gets It Right August 24, 2020 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 2,364 |
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kman
Parents are eventually going to make themselves unemployable with this expectation of CF covering the workload for them. There is some anecdotal evidence the tide is already turning in Britain.
Re: The NY Times Gets It Right August 24, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 2,701 |
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kittehpeoples
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kman
Parents are eventually going to make themselves unemployable with this expectation of CF covering the workload for them. There is some anecdotal evidence the tide is already turning in Britain.
I sure as hell wouldn't want to hire a breeder, for all the reasons we discuss here every day.
Re: The NY Times Gets It Right August 24, 2020 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,199 |
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Someone posted this in Reddit. It's too bad the LW didn't have Joyce Purnick as her manager. Purnick became a managing editor at The New York Times back in the late 1990s and the first thing she did was to end the policy of allowing reporter parents to get the major holidays off while the childless ones had to work these undesirable shifts. The parents squawked but the childless ones were delighted to finally get these major holidays off to spend time with their loved ones.
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The next time you’re asked to take on responsibilities that should be shared among the entire staff, bring up this issue. You can explain that you’re willing to be a team player but that you cannot be the only person on the team. Boundaries, my friend.
Re: The NY Times Gets It Right August 24, 2020 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
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You can explain that you’re willing to be a team player but that you cannot be the only person on the team.
Re: The NY Times Gets It Right August 25, 2020 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,842 |
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