Some CF Poems I Wrote

Thought I would brighten the day with some CF poems I wrote:

"The Big Fix"

This is an ode to the "big fix"
to think of all the eggs I would nix.
Betwixt this ovary and that
I would rather have a cat.

So feel free to cut and burn
and the hormone pills I will spurn.
No chance of conception
there will be no exception
to that rule.
No shit,no puke,
piss nor drool.

This ode to the childfree
I do write,
so screech free
may we sleep through the night.

No apologies for not liking "baybees"
We want them about as much as rabies.
So Doc,where do I sign?
So that my uterus
be a child-free shrine?

Poem2:

CF Poem

I don't want to know how painful your contractions are
or where you have some baybee scar.
I don't care
if you no longer fit into your own underwear.
Don't wanna hear you whine
about ugly maternity wear
should have kept that body a shrine.
(Pouch pants are NOT sexy).

I don't care where breast milk is spraying
Can you please spare me what you are saying.
Oh,and keep those milk bags locked up
unless you want me to show you my D-cups.
A game of you show me yours
I'll show you mine.
On these no baybees have dined.
(You'd be envious).

It must suck not to shave your own legs
and have your sex life in the dregs
all for some parasite
that will get you up
all night!
(Remember when that was your husband's job?)



Poem 3:

The Condolence Card.....

I am so sorry for your loss
in the position of boss.
When the sprog comes
in a hail of horns and drums.
When the "little one" comes home
there will be no more joy or shalom.

Wailing,whining,crying and spit
I will NOT be helping you clean that shit.
So my condolences to you,
on your breeder point of view.

Maybe if you had heard of
Pill,patch or rubber
you wouldn't now look like flubber.
Just a shapeless,quivering mass
because that "bundle of joy"
is kicking your ass.


Hope they brighten everyone's day!

*clap* *clap* *clap* *clap* Beautiful, Redlocks, just beautiful.

:yr