rant 1183, gag-worthy gifts for the Moo to Be

MSN is Breeder Central anyway, and this "review" touches on so many things I hate.

Note the whole sing-songy tone of the review. The writing makes me gag. A baby sling is "primitively practical?" Why not just say it's practical? Ugh.

Another pet peeve of mine is using the word "Baby" with a capital b. How about writing "your baby" or "the baby." I hate it when someone refers to a woman as Mommy. It's one thing to call your mother Mom when you are speaking to her, or to say, Brother, I know what you mean, but I hate the generic terms Mother, Father and Baby.

"Baby is ready for the great outdoors and Mommy is more than ready to lose that extra pregnancy padding."

Baby is ready for the great outdoors? More than likely, Baby is ready to take eat, crap or take a nap because that's the major list of what they do. Yawn.

I HATE the infantization of pregnancy and baby care items. Aside from being relieved that I will never *need* a $169 stroller or a $75 dollar diaper bag, did you check some of the product names? The stretch mark cream is Tummy Honey stick? Does this mean every preggo Moo is a big infant too? I wouldn't buy this product just on principle.

I detest how advertisers have baby-fied everything to do with pregnancy. I'm glad this stuff only applies to baybee products and hasn't moved to general female products. I'd hate to have tampons called "Aunt Flow Stoppers" or some shit like that.

Maybe some preggo cows in the focus group were on these items like stink on shit, but why aren't intelligent women rejecting these products? Oh, right, I forgot: intelligent women don't breed in the first place.

Amen, Bell! Why can't they just accept a handmade item (that people like me slave over to give to their breeder sisters) instead of an overpriced piece of Kindercrap or Mommeecrap? Also, I abhor the capitalization of Baby as well. Grammar Buddies Unite. XP

I agree Bell.

These things are junk and a waste of money. I rather spend money on myself then have to deal with all this crap cluttering my home and putting a dent in my pocket book. Thank God I'll never have to buy this crap! It was bad enough that I had to go to Babies R' Us for my BIL stupid's girlfriend shower and I wanted to get the hell our right away. What a terrible store!

As if the baby is going to know the difference between bargain or expensive. Stupid breeders.

Any shower I've gotten roped into attending, I've always given the moo a baby tooth bank. It's a pretty cool gift, always well-received and the kid won't grow out of it. Check it out.

http://www.tfairy.com/toothbank.html

Forgot to mention...

Best of all, you don't have to leave the house, go schlepping to Brats R Us and deal with the crap, you can order it from the comfort of your PJ's while lounging at home!!!

Whenever I get suckered into going to a baby shower or something, I bring flowers for the mother. It's not specifically baby related, but it's still well appreciated.

I don't think any gift for Moos-to-be is more revolting than those fucking casting kits that make a plaster mold of the woman's stomach while she's in pig. Who the fuck would want that? Do the women plan on using the casts as tubs to bathe their children in or something?

The Purple Penguin Wrote:
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Also, I abhor
> the capitalization of Baby as well. Grammar
> Buddies Unite. XP


Ditto. I can't stand that usage. "Give Baby the best toys." "Use our soothing camomile lotion on Baby's tender skin." "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"

Shit! I've never heard of casting a mold of a prego stomach! Where in the fuck does one display such a thing? I can how uncomfortable I would feel having tea at a friend's house with their fat pig stomach mold on the shelf near me. This is just weird!

http://www.birthwithsol.com/bellycasting.html

Well, Sherz, this is probably more than you'll ever want to know, but here's the bellycasting. Warning- it's really nauseating.

Wow, Sprogless, that was special. That last picture did me in. She molded her saggy boobies, too! Now, I've really got to wonder where in the hell one would put such a thing? I'm having some really sicko ideas for creating a business of my own. After all, this concept isn't giving the new dad much credit. I think I'll start selling plaster kits to make a mold of the "instrument" that got Mommy pregnant; whether it be the guy down the street, or a turkey baster, Mommy didn't make that baby alone.

Hmmm..... Maybe I might want to make a plaster belly cast of my "flat" belly and have it displayed in my house front and center. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

> The Purple Penguin Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> Also, I abhor
> > the capitalization of Baby as well. Grammar
> > Buddies Unite. XP
It seem all that placenta brain makes the breeders to NOT know how to spell, read, or write. The placenta brain takes a way proper grammar usage, when speaking, for writing!
>
>
> Ditto. I can't stand that usage. "Give Baby the
> best toys." "Use our soothing camomile lotion on
> Baby's tender skin." "Nobody puts Baby in a
> corner!"
>
>

Why spoil the chyld with so much stuff? *NO* wonder kids now days are sooooo spoiled and misbehaved! Also, if it takes soothing cammomile lotion to soothe the baby because the breeder cannot stand a fussy baby? THEN WHY SPROG IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU STUPID BREEDERS!!!!!!