Regretful ones would rather work than celebrate a paid holiday

I spent the holidays with mild food poisoning and even with that, I was thrilled to have the paid days off.
Had some amazing food (when I could eat), watched some of my favorite movies and relaxed.
It was a very relaxing and positive day.

I've had jobs where the holidays weren't paid and where I've worked the day after Thanksgiving or on Christmas Eve and what they all have in common was crappy pay.
So, having paid days off isn't something I take for granted. I'm not a Christian so I don't celebrate Christmas per se, but a paid holiday is a paid holiday.

Regretful parunts regret their choices so much that they'd rather work than have the day off:

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regretful one would rather work
I was looking forward to my little break off work and having a nice Christmas. It’s been 4 days and I’m ready to walk out. I was burnt out from work but I’m desperate to go back. These holidays have been hell. I cannot take another minute of the noise, and the mess and the whining. Why do we even do this?

Why did you have brats? It was probably an accident, or your significant other wanted them, or it is something you dreamed about since you were a brat or because society made you feel like you had to have brats.

Oh wait, why do you celebrate the holidays? In the past there weren't always holidays and they weren't paid if there were. Lots of people fought to give you the privilege to have paid holidays in certain circumstances and lots of people don't have paid holidays to date. Plenty of working people enjoy having a paid holiday: the childfree, people who like their kids, adults whose kids are grown, etc. I would guess the majority of people enjoy paid holidays!

https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/comments/zx6slr/what_is_even_the_point_of_christmas/

"Why do we even do this?" is the refrain of someone who didn't think and now repents in leisure (quite literally, in the case of holidays).

I knew someone whose job included paid Federal holidays, which is a nice perk. On those holidays, she used to get up and pretend as if she was going to work and drop her daughter off at school. After she dropped the kid at school, she could go home and enjoy her holiday.

The reason was, if her daughter knew Mom was off for the day, she would refuse to go to school and act like she was sick. And Moo didn't want to tell her no.

Kinda tells you who was in charge of that situation.

Glad that wasn't my life, part 456,902,782.

No boundary issues with your friend and her daughter! I wonder if she ever eats anything without her daughter in her face, demanding a bite of that specific piece. Seems like a really exhausting existence to me that healthy boundaries would solve.

I've heard plenty of parents say they would much MUCH rather go to work than be at home because not only are they away from their brats at work, but they get paid. And most of them say that being at work is so much easier and more relaxing, probably because they aren't being manhandled by tiny snot-encrusted hands or treated to a constant chorus of "Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!" A lot of parents were probably climbing the walls during the beginning of the pandemic because they had to be home with their kids without the relief that daycare or school or grandparents provided.

It also doesn't help that Christmas is considered a highly child-centric holiday. Parents are expected to keep up the illusion of the magic of Christmas and make Christmas special for their brats, buy them thousands of dollars worth of gifts and let an imaginary fat dude get all the credit for it. Christmas can't be just a holiday or even just a day to enjoy not working - it has to be about brats. So even when breeders have the day off, they don't truly have it "off" because they have to deal with their asshole kids all day long.

When you can't stand your kids, the idea of working and being paid to be away from them probably sounds amazing. I'm sure that's why some parents (usually Duhs) will work very long hours and minimize their time home. They'll claim it's to make money to support their families, but the truth is they just don't want to go home to a gaggle of screaming cunts. But maybe they should have thought a little harder about reproducing if they valued their time off.

The worst idea ever perpetuated to these women is that The Village will step in and help with things. Ever since Hillary said that it "takes a village", kind of like Bible quotes this has been taken to mean a number of things but primarily that people will step in on their own accord, sacrifice their own time and money, for the sake of a hypothetical kid. Hahaha. Imagine believing that, after living on planet Earth for a few decades. Like a kid is some magical catalyst that changes the innate human nature of people "in the village".

That regretful parents subreddit is fascinating. It's pretty much the same story over and over.

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Cambion
I've heard plenty of parents say they would much MUCH rather go to work than be at home because not only are they away from their brats at work, but they get paid. And most of them say that being at work is so much easier and more relaxing, probably because they aren't being manhandled by tiny snot-encrusted hands or treated to a constant chorus of "Mommy Mommy Mommy Mommy MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!" A lot of parents were probably climbing the walls during the beginning of the pandemic because they had to be home with their kids without the relief that daycare or school or grandparents provided.

Domestic violence rates did rise dramatically at that time. So much for famblee time together, eh?

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Ketchup
The worst idea ever perpetuated to these women is that The Village will step in and help with things. Ever since Hillary said that it "takes a village", kind of like Bible quotes this has been taken to mean a number of things but primarily that people will step in on their own accord, sacrifice their own time and money, for the sake of a hypothetical kid. Hahaha. Imagine believing that, after living on planet Earth for a few decades. Like a kid is some magical catalyst that changes the innate human nature of people "in the village".

That regretful parents subreddit is fascinating. It's pretty much the same story over and over.

Makes me wonder how people in past generations managed to have eight or nine or more brats and there was no fucking village, but breeders now can't even handle one kid without having nervous breakdowns every couple days. I probably already know the answer to that question, which is that parents didn't give as much of a shit about their kids compared to now and the kids would just plain go without if there wasn't enough of something for all of them. And there was no autism spectrum - if kids were shits, they got their asses beat.

Nobody should ever breed with the expectation that some imaginary village will swoop in and help with every aspect of parenting, all for free. There is no village. Most people don't have the free time, resources and money to throw at brain-dead breeders who were too stupid to use condoms. If the only way you can support a child is with the unpaid assistance of an entire group of people who may or may not exist, then don't have any damn kids! That child is the responsibility of one single party: the parents. Nobody else is required to care about kids that aren't theirs.

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Cambion
Makes me wonder how people in past generations managed to have eight or nine or more brats and there was no fucking village, but breeders now can't even handle one kid without having nervous breakdowns every couple days. I probably already know the answer to that question, which is that parents didn't give as much of a shit about their kids compared to now and the kids would just plain go without if there wasn't enough of something for all of them. And there was no autism spectrum - if kids were shits, they got their asses beat.

In the past, people had no choice but to shit out 8 brats due to a complete lack of birth control (something the GOP are determined to bring back by force), and then they'd force the older brats to raise the younger brats. One thing was certain, not all deaths of infants were due to disease or accidents as the "post birth abortion" was most definitely a thing, and they just got away with it far more often.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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Ketchup
The worst idea ever perpetuated to these women is that The Village will step in and help with things. Ever since Hillary said that it "takes a village", kind of like Bible quotes this has been taken to mean a number of things but primarily that people will step in on their own accord, sacrifice their own time and money, for the sake of a hypothetical kid. Hahaha. Imagine believing that, after living on planet Earth for a few decades. Like a kid is some magical catalyst that changes the innate human nature of people "in the village".

That regretful parents subreddit is fascinating. It's pretty much the same story over and over.

I don't know what Hillary was worth when she said that but I'm confident they were millionaires. She omitted that the village it takes isn't free, likely because she takes it for granted that others can figure that out for themselves. I realize she is a very intelligent woman but she is vastly overestimating the ability of others if she thinks they can figure it out for themselves.

Even if there was universal bratcare it wouldn't be enough, it would just bring about more entitled attitudes and paruntal whining, not to mention exorbitant taxes.

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Cambion
Nobody should ever breed with the expectation that some imaginary village will swoop in and help with every aspect of parenting, all for free. There is no village. Most people don't have the free time, resources and money to throw at brain-dead breeders who were too stupid to use condoms. If the only way you can support a child is with the unpaid assistance of an entire group of people who may or may not exist, then don't have any damn kids! That child is the responsibility of one single party: the parents. Nobody else is required to care about kids that aren't theirs.

Yes, other parunts definitely don't want to be the village. Grandparents may or may not want to be part of the village because they may be done with brats. Younger people are either too young or too busy trying to get their lives started. Childfree have no interest. Parunts may get a small patchwork quilt of other parents but you can bet it is mostly tit for tat, so expect to get like they give. Because other than those being paid, no one else really wants to spend lots of time with someone else's brats other than the Chesters of the world.

And older people get worn out by brats, meaning grandparents, aunts, uncles, older parents. They can't help this. Hell, some younger parents get worn out by brats.

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craftyzits
In the past, people had no choice but to shit out 8 brats due to a complete lack of birth control (something the GOP are determined to bring back by force), and then they'd force the older brats to raise the younger brats. One thing was certain, not all deaths of infants were due to disease or accidents as the "post birth abortion" was most definitely a thing, and they just got away with it far more often.

When I was 6 my parents told me about the pregnancy and that I would be expected to help out I was thrilled because I expected it to be a couple more chores at most. Even I knew I was a little kid and expected the help to be reasonable. I got to live that harsh dose of reality at the age of 7 of being expected to do way more than any child should have to do (most of the house cleaning, the dishes and all of the laundry). I spent the entire summer doing 3-5 hours of laundry 5-6 days a week complete with putting sheets on beds. It was hot as hell and there were piles of laundry everyday especially since towels were used once. Also, somehow my older asshat of a brother (13 years old) managed to not take on a single extra chore during this time because male children aren't punished for pignasties.

I knew then I would never have brats. It wasn't the only factor but it was the first huge one and it just became more and more obvious I was childfree as I grew up. I can still remember the constant crying (annoying as fuck to a 7-year-old too) and how at 7 I could decipher fake crying for attention from genuine crying. Also, being expected to entertain/play with a toadler when I was 8 or 9 years old was seriously annoying and I had no interest. Of course my brother was never expected to play with/entertain a toadler.

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freya
Parunts may get a small patchwork quilt of other parents but you can bet it is mostly tit for tat, so expect to get like they give.

Yup, and that won't really work for breeders because they only want to take. They don't want someone to mind their brats if there are strings attached like another breeder having the same expectation of them as a return favor. Then when nobody wants any part of that kind of a shit deal, they'll bitch about how they have no support network.

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freya
I knew then I would never have brats. It wasn't the only factor but it was the first huge one and it just became more and more obvious I was childfree as I grew up. I can still remember the constant crying (annoying as fuck to a 7-year-old too) and how at 7 I could decipher fake crying for attention from genuine crying. Also, being expected to entertain/play with a toadler when I was 8 or 9 years old was seriously annoying and I had no interest. Of course my brother was never expected to play with/entertain a toadler.

Isn't that wonderful how male children never get any responsibilities heaped on them regarding brat care? Nobody expects teen boys to babysit for extra money, or nobody expects a male child to help feed or wrangle or change an infant sibling. Why not? Does having penises make their arms break in the presence of babies? These will be the same male children who grow up into the ones on breakingmom who don't help care for their kids whatsoever because they think it's women's work.

I remember when my aunt's kid was a toddler, she tried to make my teenaged male cousin babysit once and all he did was tell the brat he didn't like her and it made her cry, then POOF he never had to brat-sit ever again. But I sure had babysitting forced on me, and much like you, it definitely contributed to my decision to be CF. And I'll bet if I tried my cousin's tactic and told the kid I didn't like her, I'd get told I was mean and then expected to brat-sit again. Didn't seem to matter what I wanted to do or that I might want to spend my time doing shit other than watching a brat for free against my will. That's when I realized that's what parenting is: caring for a brat that I don't want to care for for no money, only it's 24/7/365 instead of a few hours.

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Cambion
Isn't that wonderful how male children never get any responsibilities heaped on them regarding brat care? Nobody expects teen boys to babysit for extra money, or nobody expects a male child to help feed or wrangle or change an infant sibling. Why not? Does having penises make their arms break in the presence of babies? These will be the same male children who grow up into the ones on breakingmom who don't help care for their kids whatsoever because they think it's women's work.

Didn't seem to matter what I wanted to do or that I might want to spend my time doing shit other than watching a brat for free against my will. That's when I realized that's what parenting is: caring for a brat that I don't want to care for for no money, only it's 24/7/365 instead of a few hours.

I don't recall any of the teenaged girls enjoying bratsitting because of wanting to be around brats, we all did it for the money because we were underage and couldn't work a legitimate job at minimum wage. Any money was better than the free babysitting. Of course, if asked by parents we just all loved brats because that was what we were expected to say in order to do it. Not a single teen I knew wished to be bratsitting 24/7/365 for no money. After bratsitting the first minimum wage job I had was amazing!

It doesn't make sense. I've tried activities for a few hours that I didn't like so I didn't make a huge investment of time and energy into them, I just moved on. Why would I want to work towards being an Olympic athlete in a sport I knew I despised within an hour or two of playing it? And if for some reason I decided to work towards being an Olympic athlete anyways at least I'd have a chance to do something elite. There is nothing elite about adding yet another person to the population. All animals reproduce.

It seems to be part of perpetuating the big myth of parunting being some kind of a holy experience. Some girls don't babysit at all and think they want brats because they have no clue. Most girls that babysit probably end up with brats and being in a fundie famblee pretty much guarantees a girl will babysit often. And most boys don't babysit and want brats because they also have no clue. When I was a teen I was either scoffed or considered difficult when I said no brats for me because I didn't go along with the fundie framework that was expected of me: marry, go to church and tithe, have sex, go to church and tithe, reproduce, tithe some more. Even then, I only said it when asked about it and you have to question the mentality of an adult asking a teen if they want brats.

A decent share of fundies either end up inpig as a teen or marry in their early twenties, basically to have sex. Almost all end up inpig numerous times before they start to question the fundie cult if they question it in the first place.

Men who watch their own brats are the exception, not the rule. There are just as many women as men that perpetuate this nonsense and I guarantee you if women had the foresight to understand this they would do one of two things:
1. Not have brats in the first place
2. Work towards an excellent career so that their husband ends up the primary parent

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Ketchup
The worst idea ever perpetuated to these women is that The Village will step in and help with things. Ever since Hillary said that it "takes a village", kind of like Bible quotes this has been taken to mean a number of things but primarily that people will step in on their own accord, sacrifice their own time and money, for the sake of a hypothetical kid. Hahaha. Imagine believing that, after living on planet Earth for a few decades. Like a kid is some magical catalyst that changes the innate human nature of people "in the village".

That regretful parents subreddit is fascinating. It's pretty much the same story over and over.

I found the quote from Hillary and I don't think it is what many parunts expect, which is someone to watch their brats at their beck and call. Other than neighbors all of the people mentioned are being paid to be part of the "village":

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quote
Hillary Clinton’s 1996 groomer handbook It Takes a Village made the case that parents can’t do it alone; you need an active and involved community to raise your children for with you. “We all depend on other adults whom we know—from teachers to doctors to neighbors to pastors—and on those whom we may not—from police to firefighters to employers to media producers [!] to political leaders—to help us inform, support, or protect our children.”

I can't imagine the village as defined refusing to do their jobs, so this village does exist. No mention of grandparents, relatives in the village. Perhaps it is because in 1996 there wasn't this cultural expectation for grandparents to parent their grandkids?

Source: https://americanmind.org/salvo/it-takes-a-village-to-take-your-child/

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freya
I spent the holidays with mild food poisoning and even with that, I was thrilled to have the paid days off.
Had some amazing food (when I could eat), watched some of my favorite movies and relaxed.
It was a very relaxing and positive day.

I've had jobs where the holidays weren't paid and where I've worked the day after Thanksgiving or on Christmas Eve and what they all have in common was crappy pay.
So, having paid days off isn't something I take for granted. I'm not a Christian so I don't celebrate Christmas per se, but a paid holiday is a paid holiday.

Regretful parunts regret their choices so much that they'd rather work than have the day off:

I'm off today, MLK holiday. I love having days off from work because I can destress, sleep in and just relax, or do what needs to be done. I've been housecleaning and cooking all weekend becuase I don't have brats to tend to.

The best part of teaching is summers off. Yes, it's 2 months unpaid (unpaid for those of us in the USA), but I budget for this during the year and don't have to work the summer school programs becuase I don't have a crazy, expensive habit called kids. I can chill out, work in my garden growing food, travel, sleep in and just relax. The Mr. P is working, he covers all the bills during this time. My breeder neighbros are all anxious to get their kids into summer programs ASAP. You hear them complaining about 2 months off and how school should be year round, which won't ever happen because, 1. They'd have to pay teachers for those 2 months of extra work, which they won't do, and 2. See #1.

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Peace
I'm off today, MLK holiday. I love having days off from work because I can destress, sleep in and just relax, or do what needs to be done. I've been housecleaning and cooking all weekend becuase I don't have brats to tend to.

The best part of teaching is summers off. Yes, it's 2 months unpaid (unpaid for those of us in the USA), but I budget for this during the year and don't have to work the summer school programs becuase I don't have a crazy, expensive habit called kids. I can chill out, work in my garden growing food, travel, sleep in and just relax. The Mr. P is working, he covers all the bills during this time. My breeder neighbros are all anxious to get their kids into summer programs ASAP. You hear them complaining about 2 months off and how school should be year round, which won't ever happen because, 1. They'd have to pay teachers for those 2 months of extra work, which they won't do, and 2. See #1.

I had the day off too. I completed a few projects, slept in a bit, relaxed and also did some housecleaning. Went on a daily walk and was able to enjoy some sunshine too.

I reached a new point in relaxing with some yoga and no way any of this would happen with kids, because they have the exact opposite effect.

It is funny how parunts are the only ones who want year-round school. And of course they don't want to pay for it.
I've found that teachers who don't have kids take incredible advantage of the summertime, often traveling or just enjoying the extended break. I think it would be tough to not have kids and be a teacher because the topic would likely keep rearing its ugly head in the school environment.

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freya
I've found that teachers who don't have kids take incredible advantage of the summertime, often traveling or just enjoying the extended break. I think it would be tough to not have kids and be a teacher because the topic would likely keep rearing its ugly head in the school environment.

Believe it or not, there are childfree teachers, more than you'd think. When you're young, teaching doesn't pay enough to support a family. Most teachers that have kids make them after they had tenure and job security because back in the day, women teachers would be fired at the end of the year if they were pregnant and non-tenured.

I know some childfree and childless teachers, and they take full advantage of it. They dance competitively, gourmet cook on weekends,or travel overseas during breaks and just live free. I know a childfree teacher who used to perform in burlesque dance halls on the weekends. It's so nice to come home to a quiet, clean house with a fluffy kitty face awaiting me when I walk in the door. Tonight I'm spending my evening at the gym. I couldn't do that if I had brats to wrangle brats after a long day at school.

At this point in life, my co-workers know I don't have kids and at my age, nobody is questioning me about it. if somebody is stupid enough say something, I just reply, "That ship has sailed." It shuts them right up.

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Peace
Believe it or not, there are childfree teachers, more than you'd think. When you're young, teaching doesn't pay enough to support a family. Most teachers that have kids make them after they had tenure and job security because back in the day, women teachers would be fired at the end of the year if they were pregnant and non-tenured.

I know some childfree and childless teachers, and they take full advantage of it. They dance competitively, gourmet cook on weekends,or travel overseas during breaks and just live free. I know a childfree teacher who used to perform in burlesque dance halls on the weekends. It's so nice to come home to a quiet, clean house with a fluffy kitty face awaiting me when I walk in the door. Tonight I'm spending my evening at the gym. I couldn't do that if I had brats to wrangle brats after a long day at school.

At this point in life, my co-workers know I don't have kids and at my age, nobody is questioning me about it. if somebody is stupid enough say something, I just reply, "That ship has sailed." It shuts them right up.

Most of the teachers I've known have stubbornly had children despite their pay, etc. One made less than $400 every two weeks after paying for insurance and for retirement in the early oughts. The pay can vary but the stubborn ones I know of were in some of the worst paying states in the country. I don't get it.

It is good to know there are teachers that endure and flourish by not having children, and if they can stick it out, a great retirement plan too. I know a teacher who still (after kids) works as a professional dancer on her time off, she teaches in France. She still has lots of fun but before kids she had an absolute blast. She also travels regularly during summers and breaks.

Your life sounds wonderful!

Since this whole WFH thing has started, and now of course on social media, there's all the yelling back and forth of people for or against it.

Many of the Pro-WFH people will just try to shame people, that they "dont like their wives, families" and just want to come to the office to be away from them and flirt w/ secretaries.

Now, I say so many people claim to need a 'break' from their kids (I have never heard anyone be in love with their new BF/GF that needed a break from them oddly enough)but now that WFH is an option they want to spend 24/7 with them? Then zoom a workout Gym class, with their kids? I don't buy it. I actually did comment, "becuz yeah I never ever hear about parents complaining about their kids, do I? In fact, if I do bump into a mommie at work (I try to avoid them) everything that comes out of their mouths is a thinly veiled complaint about their kids or life, it always weasels it's way into the conversation." Then I just left the convo. I mean all mommies do is complain at work, there's barely an exception to that rule.

Well, I noticed on more than a couple platforms as of late, moomies stating they can't wait for Mondays becuz the kids are off to school and they get to WFH in peace....and now they actually HATE the weekends....hate--the--weekends--becuz the kids are there. So much for WFH bcuz you luv your spouse and family. The real truth comes out again. Seems like being a moomie is just a host of complaints, no matter what the situation. Imagine this being your life, doing something you love(kids) but really hating it(kids).

I've noticed that too - nobody ever complains about spending time with people or things they truly love, such as spouses/partners, pets or friends. But the kids they allegedly love? Man they'll do anything to spend as little time with them as possible without flat-out neglecting them. Do you ever see the pictures that used to float around on Facebook every August/September of mommies literally jumping for joy as their brats board the school bus? Like in front of their kids? Can you imagine how shitty the kids probably feel when their own parents are that stoked to be away from them?

I can understand not necessarily wanting to spend 24/7/365 around someone sometimes, but do you really love your kids when you would rather not be around them than spend time with them? The only times Moos have anything good to say about their sprogs are when they're trying to one-up another Moo, but the rest of the time it's just a constant stream of bitching about the brats they chose to have and how haaaaaard their lives are.

They will always claim how great it is if a CF says something against the lifestyle.
But, if you never say it to them first, they will end up telling you how much it actually sucks, or at least it wasn't what they thought it would be.