Resumes are Haaaard
Posted by RatsNotBrats
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Re: Resumes are Haaaard October 11, 2008 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
casseyrod Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > HA! Me too, when I worked for one of the big 6
> > accounting firms as their LAN admin, I had to
> open
> > all the mail (yes the LAN admin opening the
> mail).
> > I didn't mind because I got to throw away all
> the
> > shitty resumes. Some of them were real gems.
> LOL
>
> Its also amazing how many people out there can't
> spell correctly to save their life.
>
> I got a lot of enjoyment out of tossing the SAHM
> resumes!
The least a person can do is have his spelling/grammar checked when he fills out a job application and CERTAINLY when he has a resume typed up. I have seen some doozies in my time, but the worst are perhaps people who have misspelled their own cities of residence. I have seen NUMEROUS high school kyds' applications in this area spell our city, which is named Somerset, as SUMMERSET, and these are kyds who have lived here their whole lives. When I lived in Montgomery I saw "Mungomery" a good bit on applications. Then there are the idiots who don't seem to comprehend that the part where a standard application says, "which languages do you speak fluently", is an attempt to not hire illegals or non US residents, and they might put, "I took a little French in 9th grade", or something equally as stupid.
The "Salary required" section is another dead give away as to the educational level and/or intellect of the applicant as well. I have been asked what "salary" means and have had many ask me what minimum wage currently is so they could list that as their requirement. I was also stunned to learn that MANY people, not just teens, actually think that "minimum wage" is "good"?????? I have tried to figure out their reasoning on this and I believe, but can't be certain, that they do not understand the concept of a MINIMUM wage. They do not know the meaning of the word "minimum" and/or they have been paid bus person/server minimum wages of $2 an hour plus tips in the past, and think that "minimum wage" is like some sort of a raise, I suppose. I never have outright asked any of them because quite frankly, I find it embarrassing for them.
As for it being illegal to ask moocows how many kids they have, their future preggo plans, etc.....like someone else has already mentioned, all you have to do is say, "So, tell me about yourself". If they haven't already divulged the names, birthdates and favorite toy of each kyd, it's at this time that they will reveal everything regarding their kyds and plans to have more, down to the date of their last period. They are SO consumed by getting knocked up, having baybees, their current kyds, etc......it NEVER crosses their minds that ANYONE could be anything but delighted to hear about it/them and/or that it could cost them a job or a promotion. Basically, breeders and breeders to be are complete idiots and live in a fantasy world. I HATE working with them and despise it when I have to manage them or on a few rare occasions when they have actually been "in charge", although that was a long long time ago.
-------------------------------------------------------
> KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > HA! Me too, when I worked for one of the big 6
> > accounting firms as their LAN admin, I had to
> open
> > all the mail (yes the LAN admin opening the
> mail).
> > I didn't mind because I got to throw away all
> the
> > shitty resumes. Some of them were real gems.
> LOL
>
> Its also amazing how many people out there can't
> spell correctly to save their life.
>
> I got a lot of enjoyment out of tossing the SAHM
> resumes!
The least a person can do is have his spelling/grammar checked when he fills out a job application and CERTAINLY when he has a resume typed up. I have seen some doozies in my time, but the worst are perhaps people who have misspelled their own cities of residence. I have seen NUMEROUS high school kyds' applications in this area spell our city, which is named Somerset, as SUMMERSET, and these are kyds who have lived here their whole lives. When I lived in Montgomery I saw "Mungomery" a good bit on applications. Then there are the idiots who don't seem to comprehend that the part where a standard application says, "which languages do you speak fluently", is an attempt to not hire illegals or non US residents, and they might put, "I took a little French in 9th grade", or something equally as stupid.
The "Salary required" section is another dead give away as to the educational level and/or intellect of the applicant as well. I have been asked what "salary" means and have had many ask me what minimum wage currently is so they could list that as their requirement. I was also stunned to learn that MANY people, not just teens, actually think that "minimum wage" is "good"?????? I have tried to figure out their reasoning on this and I believe, but can't be certain, that they do not understand the concept of a MINIMUM wage. They do not know the meaning of the word "minimum" and/or they have been paid bus person/server minimum wages of $2 an hour plus tips in the past, and think that "minimum wage" is like some sort of a raise, I suppose. I never have outright asked any of them because quite frankly, I find it embarrassing for them.
As for it being illegal to ask moocows how many kids they have, their future preggo plans, etc.....like someone else has already mentioned, all you have to do is say, "So, tell me about yourself". If they haven't already divulged the names, birthdates and favorite toy of each kyd, it's at this time that they will reveal everything regarding their kyds and plans to have more, down to the date of their last period. They are SO consumed by getting knocked up, having baybees, their current kyds, etc......it NEVER crosses their minds that ANYONE could be anything but delighted to hear about it/them and/or that it could cost them a job or a promotion. Basically, breeders and breeders to be are complete idiots and live in a fantasy world. I HATE working with them and despise it when I have to manage them or on a few rare occasions when they have actually been "in charge", although that was a long long time ago.
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Re: Resumes are Haaaard October 11, 2008 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,431 |
These are a few gems from Careerbuilder.com. Which ones are from breeders do you think?? And which from the over-entitled youth of today?
1 “an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”
2 Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
3 “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
4 Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
5 Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
6 A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
7 Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”.
8 Under “job related skills” - for a web designer - “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
9 My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm.
10 Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
11 Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
12 “I am great with the pubic.”
13 A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
14 The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.
15 One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.
16 “…sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of a cover letter to another firm…”
17 “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
18 One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn’t like dealing with blood or needles.
19 Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
20 I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion’s head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.
21 a resume… was printed on the back of the person’s current employer’s letterhead.
22 One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
23 A resume… had several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it
24 Hobbies: “Having a good time”
- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly
1 “an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume”
2 Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)”.
3 “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
4 Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
5 Why Interested in Position: “to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail”
6 A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume
7 Hobbies: “Drugs and girls”.
8 Under “job related skills” - for a web designer - “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet”.
9 My sister-in-law misspelled the word “proofreading” in her skill set.
The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm.
10 Objective: “career on the Information Supper Highway”
11 Experience: “Stalking, shipping & receiving”
12 “I am great with the pubic.”
13 A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
14 The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application.
15 One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.
16 “…sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of a cover letter to another firm…”
17 “My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.”
18 One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn’t like dealing with blood or needles.
19 Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen”
20 I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the first page. The picture was of a lion’s head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie.
21 a resume… was printed on the back of the person’s current employer’s letterhead.
22 One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
23 A resume… had several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it
24 Hobbies: “Having a good time”
- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly
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