"I hate my kid" regretful duh tells it how it is July 22, 2023 | Registered: 1 year ago Posts: 57 |
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regretful duh
was on the fence about having kids. Wife and I have been together for 10 years and she always wanted them but knew I was undecided. Tbf I was probably always more on the ‘no kids’ side more than anything. Either way, she knew my feelings. We’d talked about it.
But we’re crazy about each other and always have been. We get married, have the baby talk again a few years after. She basically says she’s gonna leave me to find someone who does want kids if I don’t. So we start trying. I didn’t react the best when I found out she was pregnant. Think I was really hoping it wouldn’t happen coz we’re both mid 30’s.
I hate him. I hate the way he looks, the way he smells, the fucking crying that’s non fucking stop. I hate the smell of the formula, I hate the smell of his piss, I hate all his shit just lying around the house. I try to keep the place tidy but fuck knows how it gets so bad.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve really fucking tried with this. I’ve gone full dad mode with the 3am feeds and nappy changes and doing my bit as a dad but nothing I do seems to change how I feel. I just hate being around him. I feel like I have no emotional attachment to him. I don’t look at him and think ‘that’s my son’ I just think ‘oh fuck off’ and he’s probably picking up on that coz he doesn’t smile at me, doesn’t really react to anything I do, whilst he’s all happy and smiley with his mom. I feel like a slave now coz I do all the cooking, most of the cleaning, and I work whilst she just carries him round and doesn’t really have time for me.
Everything has just gone to shit since he was born and I hate him for it. I know I shouldn’t coz he’s biologically mine and it’s not his fault and honestly I really hate that I feel this way. I don’t want to feel this way but I can’t help it. I’ve tried to distract myself from feeling this way by cutting myself and when my wife caught me she went crazy at me. I don’t have the best mental health history and all this has just made it worse.
I want to stop feeling the way I do but I genuinely don’t know how to. The wife knows how I feel and I think she just keeps out of my way to avoid any bad energy or me having to be around the kid. But it’s not a big house so it’s hard. I just dread coming home at the end of the day now and I’m having thoughts I shouldn’t be having. I was lay on the sofa last night wondering how long I could leave the gas stove on for before I’d die. I’m fucking depressed as shit and I hate it. Love my wife. Hate my kid.
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Re: "I hate my kid" regretful duh tells it how it is July 23, 2023 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,842 |
Re: "I hate my kid" regretful duh tells it how it is July 23, 2023 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,979 |
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Cambion
And why is this man breeding when he admits he has a history of mental illness? Having a child NEVER makes existing mental problems better. Giving him crap for cutting himself is a real shit thing to do to someone who is already depressed. The kid is going to be so fucked up because resentful/regretful parents eventually lose the energy to pretend and become much more blatant about how they really feel about their kids they didn't want. While it sounds like the guy needs professional help for his existing mental health concerns, I don't think he can therapy his way out of his feelings toward his child. It would be in everyone's best interests if he divorced his Moo-wife and moved out because surely child support is more bearable than fatherhood.
Re: "I hate my kid" regretful duh tells it how it is July 23, 2023 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,576 |
Re: "I hate my kid" regretful duh tells it how it is July 25, 2023 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
Re: "I hate my kid" regretful duh tells it how it is July 25, 2023 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,976 |
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mumofsixbirds
I totally agree. I'd love to point out that I've never heard of anyone who loves anyone unconditionally. Humans don't function that way and just because you birth them doesn't mean they're going to love you forever no matter what.
Re: "I hate my kid" regretful duh tells it how it is July 26, 2023 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |