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The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck

Posted by freya 
The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck
August 21, 2023
I wouldn't recommend this book.

First off, page 85 talks about how raising a kid makes us happier than beating a video game (it actually says this). Completing a marathon makes us happier than eating chocolate cake. Starting a small business makes us happier than buying a new computer.

How does this snot nosed rich kid know what makes "us" happier? Is "us" some kind of weird collective? Some cult he is growing? Plenty of evidence that not everyone agrees with this. As a matter of fact surveys, memories, recollections and behaviors have revealed over and over again that beating a video game is better than raising kids. I've seen surveys where thousands of people have responded and they rank taking care of kids as less pleasurable than vacuuming a house. A recent survey asks parents how happy they are now compared to how happy they were prior to having kids. Most averaged around a 7-8 prior to having kids and are at a 1-2 average after having kids. Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/regretfulparents/comments/1537600/how_much_happier_were_you_before_kids/

After reading the part about raising kids, I did further research and found he has kids. Because of course he does. Misery wants company.

Then he goes on through page 85 "these activities are stressful, arduous and often unpleasant. They also require withstanding problem after problem. Yet are some of the most meaningful moments and joyous things we'll ever do......"

Plenty of people regret having brats. Most people who have brats look back at their time before brats as the best time of their lives. Sure, there are exceptions but pretty much everything has to fall into place and parents have to really want brats. And not everyone would agree with running a marathon being better than eating chocolate cake or starting a small business being better than buying a computer. Everyone has their own opinions on what they like and dislike.

Not only that, but if I live with just about anyone who is a minor for 18+ years then they are likely to be there during the most meaningful and joyous moments because....they're there all the time anyways! And no mention of the annoying, repetitive, loathsome, tiring moments which most of the shared time are comprised of.

I'm paraphrasing..."wanting to feel good, pleasure, achieve something extraordinary is from a sense of entitlement. As a society we'd be better off accepting that we are average and avoiding a sense to entitlement."

Accept we are average, don't be so selfish and breed for society? Is that what this jokester is getting at? If everyone listened to this loser, there would be no innovation in the USA. I understand that the "me culture" has its drawbacks but at the same time we live during one of the most innovative times in history. I guess if everyone is average then we can all breed to keep the (average) cannon fodder going.

"Giving up some grandiose ideas about yourself: that you're uniquely intelligent, or spectacularly talented, or intimidating attractive or especially victimized in ways other people could never imagine. This means giving up your sense of entitlement and your belief that you're somehow owed something by this world."

I've known a person who is so beautiful she was paid millions of dollars for her image to be used in advertising. Not entitled in the least, she is a very kind and humble person who realizes her looks are mostly genetics plus effort to maintain them. I met a man who would go on to become the most famous model in the world (I didn't know who he was until I saw him on a music video a couple of years later) and he was also very sweet and humble. I've also known people who were very talented, again, not entitled.

Some of the most average people I know delude themselves into thinking that they are special and the world owes them. I have a relative who is exactly this and is average in every way imaginable except for extraordinary delusions of grandeur. A better way of phrasing this is to not think the world owes you anything because you exist.

He butchers Buddhism: "Kill yourself" and goes on to talk about how Buddhism basically means not giving a f*ck.

Incorrect. Please don't bring up philosophy from your one class in college where you showed up drunk and never bothered to make an effort to understand what Buddhism is. I'm positive that Buddhism preceded this spoiled punk.

Author also admits to growing up in a wealthy family, where he was able to CHOOSE a writing career and not starve to death. He was also able to choose to travel for years and do whatever he wanted. He also talks about how after so much time and places traveling starts to lose its luster. Very few people experience this, especially when they are in their early twenties. And yes he couch surfed for a while, but you have to have lots of connections to know enough really young people in NYC that have a couch for you to surf while you get your writing career going. Most young people would have no choice but to charge anyone on their couch some kind of rent in any city, let alone living in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

I'd guess most people would KILL to have the opportunity to live on their parent's dime and travel until they are 25 years old. And then to choose to pursue a writing career.
Re: The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck
August 21, 2023
I'm average, but I don't see the point in striving for drudgery because of it. In fact, because I'm ordinary, I know I'm never going to have some grand sense of achievement from doing something extraordinary, so I strive to maximize my happiness in my daily life, which means avoiding optional things that diminish my happiness. I don't think anyone is going to hand me pleasures, I'm definitely not owed them, which is precisely why I have to take steps to secure them....

Not having kids is a big part of that!
Re: The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck
August 21, 2023
I was listening to someone read this book on youtube. I guess I thought initially there were some good points in it but I stopped listening partway through. He has had some great opportunities in his life that other people aren't afforded.

I'm not entitled to special treatment because I'm a survivor of a violent crime. (I'm not clear on who he describes as an entitled victim) I am, however, a person who refuses to be a statistic and trying not to allow my past to ruin what's left of my life. Sometimes I have struggles and I'm learning to accept it. There are some things I can't do and I'm learning my limitations as I go through life. I don't expect anyone to hold my hand and tell me I'm special though.

I guess there are some good hills to die on, others not so much. Everyone's hills are different. My goal is peace, some financial security, and the ability to get out and enjoy a few nice things before I die. I'll throw hands before I let anyone take those things away from me because they don't think I deserve them (like my family has told me my whole life). What I am entitled to is my freedom to make my own decisions, bear those consequences, and hopefully have a decent life.

Adding a kid into my life would have made things exponentially worse for me and I'm grateful that I didn't do that.

IDK why I just rambled this out. I guess I got through the first few chapters and it kind of made me think but I fell asleep after that and didn't finish listening.
Re: The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck
August 27, 2023
Sounds like your typical spoiled little boy douchebag who now thinks he's an expert on everything because someone shot down his grandiose ego a few times and he's enduring some "hardships" (aka the usual shit the rest of us deal with in life).
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