"Can you be a good mother if you really dislike children?" Moos on r/parenting say yes

A while ago a 7 months pregnant moo makes a post about how she hates kids and asks if she can still be a good mom despite hating kids
Original Post: Can you be a good mother if you really dislike kids?

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7.months pregnant moo
Advice
I’m 7 months pregnant with my first child and sometime I feel like I might have made a huge mistake.

I wanted to have children because family has always been very important to me. I love the idea of having grown up kids and I’m really close to my parents. I’d love to have that same closeness with my children some day.

But the thing is, I really dislike kids. I know it’s not their fault, but they’re so loud and demanding. I just find it awful to be around them. Like, every moment I spend around my friends kids I’m just desperate to get away.

The other day, some friends visited with their 3 young children, aged 1-3, and they were so relentless in their yelling and demands for attention that I literally had a quiet panic attack alone in the garden. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m pregnant and that’ll soon be me getting yelled at 24/7.

So many of my friends seem to genuinely enjoy the company of children, it’s got me wondering whether I’ve just made a big mistake here. Maybe I’m just not cut out to be a mom?

Does anyone here have experience of having children despite not liking children? Is it possible to be a good mother when kids create such a visceral reaction in me?

The thread is full of Moos who admit to disliking their own spawn (at least %50 of the time) but claiming to love them anyway.
However , one response to the post was particularly hilarious. One person claimed to hate kids but had 7 of them anyway. Their own mom also hated kids (and deliberately went to work in childcare)

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pretty_strike_3127
My mum freely admits to always having hated children but I can't fault how she raised me or my 2 siblings with nothing but care and compassion before going into a career in childcare of all things haha. And I have to admit I also despise children but now I have 7 and as much as they drive me around the bend pretty much every day of the week it is always worth it for the once a day that they say "I love you".

Tldr: children are like medicine you never want it but it makes you feel better in the end

Many months after the original post, the moo makes a post after she shits out the brat and claims to love the brat, likely because she sees it as an extension of herself like most narcs do

UPDATE: Can you be a good mother if you really dislike children

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same moo
It’s been a little under 2 years since I posted in this community as a pregnant lady who didn’t much like kids and was anxious about what to expect.

I received such an amazing outpouring of support that I wanted to come back with an update on how things are going.

I had my daughter in early 2022, and guys, words cannot describe how much I love her.

People said this would happen when I originally posted, but I couldn’t have imagined what it would feel like. She is truly the light of my life. Every day, I get to wake up and see her unbridled joy when I walk into her room. I get to watch her explore the world around her, to experience the world in all its beauty and terror for the first time.

I get to watch this little creature, that I helped create, become a person all of her own. She’s fierce and smart and full of joy. She’s truly unique and terrific, and I love her more every day

I mean I'm glad to see she seems to enjoy being a mother, but it might also be because she's one of those people who enjoys the loaf/early toddler stage. The kid is less than two years old, so let's see how much she loves motherhood between the ages of two and five years old. Because that's when kids become more mobile, slightly more independent, learn to talk, throw massive tantrums, and "NO" becomes not only their favorite word to use, but the one they listen to the least.

Also, I seriously doubt a one-year-old is either fierce or smart. Her "joy" is probably her smiling because she farted and it tickled.

In some ways, I think certain people who aren't huge kid fans might be good parents because they won't cave to the bullshit a kid pulls and will be more likely to use actual discipline. Compared to people who really like kids or who want to be better parents to their own spawn than their parents were to them. These types generally let the brats rule the roost and don't discipline them at all because they hope that allowing their child to do anything they want without consequence will result in the child loving them.

Kids don't know what love is. They would tell a lamppost "I love you" if the lamppost would give them candy. A brat will tell you it hates you FAR more often than it will say it loves you. They only say they love their parents because their parents provide them with food, warmth and shelter.

If Moo is happy with her choice, then bully for her. But I want an update in another year when she's trying to deal with a toadler. Let's see if the child is still the light of her life or a little asshole fireball that Moo wishes would be extinguished.

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Cambion
I mean I'm glad to see she seems to enjoy being a mother, but it might also be because she's one of those people who enjoys the loaf/early toddler stage. The kid is less than two years old, so let's see how much she loves motherhood between the ages of two and five years old. Because that's when kids become more mobile, slightly more independent, learn to talk, throw massive tantrums, and "NO" becomes not only their favorite word to use, but the one they listen to the least.


If Moo is happy with her choice, then bully for her. But I want an update in another year when she's trying to deal with a toadler. Let's see if the child is still the light of her life or a little asshole fireball that Moo wishes would be extinguished.

Something tells me Moo isn't going to be very happy when the kid gets a real personality and (God forbid) starts saying "I hate you" and throwing temper tantrums. No longer will the kid be "the light of her life" lmfao
I really get the feeling that a good chunk of Moos (this one included) only like cute widdle baybee/early toddler stage because they're just...there. They're pretty much blank slates at that stage and are easy to treat as living dolls. All hell breaks loose when the child becomes more independent and develops their own opinions.

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Cambion
Kids don't know what love is. They would tell a lamppost "I love you" if the lamppost would give them candy. A brat will tell you it hates you FAR more often than it will say it loves you. They only say they love their parents because their parents provide them with food, warmth and shelter.

Parents have no idea how often their kindergarten aged children will tell their teachers that they love them. And the lunch ladies, or the principal, or the recess aides…

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

Wow the truth comes out again on Reddit.

Moos can't figure it is also because their hormones kick in to make them love baybie. The same hormones that make a monkey carry around a dead carcass of its still born til it's a smelly desiccated raggedy wisp of itself. Hormones control a lot of human emotion and thought including thinking you luv your baby, and maybe even your spouse. Hormones wear off and you think your terrible-two toddler is an asshole when they say "No!" for the 100th time over nothing. Kids would love the nanny if she was the only one feeding, sheltering, and diapering them. Kids' love is actually very conditional.

Not to mention kids only know to say "I love you" because someone is coaching them to say it, or they pick it up from their parents and just parrot what they hear. It's no different from a kid learning to swear after hearing Moo and Duh fighting. And when kids see the attention/response they get when they say it, they are inclined to continue saying it because of the positive reinforcement. Again, much like how when an adult flips out when a little kid swears, they will likely keep doing it for the negative attention.

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cfuter
Moos can't figure it is also because their hormones kick in to make them love baybie.

I'm pretty sure if these hormones didn't exist, the second a loaf came out of the woman's body, she'd take the little turd and yeet it down the nearest flight of stairs for causing her so much pain for quite possibly hours and hours on end. Because it is a very human response to want to instinctively hurt someone/something that hurts you. Hell it's a very common response in general - ever annoy a cat a little too much and they give you a swat? It's not just a people thing. Were it not for the woman's hormone-filled body and brain fooling her into love at first sight regarding the creature she spent 30 hours pushing out, medical staff would probably have to restrain women from murdering their loaves at birth.

boy is that sow going to be in for hell on earth. and the bovines thinking one can dislike the little shits and still be a good brood sow? I doubt it. this cunt knew she didn't like kids but got her shriveled brain cells fried by the bs propaganda kodak media garbage. and they wonder how dysfunctional famblees start. boys and girls this is how

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

and cambion, this could also be the stockholme syndrome spewing as well. she has to brainwash herself into believing she's happy with this shit

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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Something tells me Moo isn't going to be very happy when the kid gets a real personality and (God forbid) starts saying "I hate you" and throwing temper tantrums. No longer will the kid be "the light of her life" lmfao

I once dated a guy whose Moo used to croak that she wished all her (eight) kids were back in diapers. She liked baybees but Heaven forbid they would have personalities. Needless to say the relationship went nowhere.

If you truly loathe kids and find them unpleasant to be around, I do not see how you could possibly get pregnant. It boggles the mind, really.

Accidents happen, and not all will admit to them.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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antisprog
Something tells me Moo isn't going to be very happy when the kid gets a real personality and (God forbid) starts saying "I hate you" and throwing temper tantrums. No longer will the kid be "the light of her life" lmfao
I really get the feeling that a good chunk of Moos (this one included) only like cute widdle baybee/early toddler stage because they're just...there. They're pretty much blank slates at that stage and are easy to treat as living dolls. All hell breaks loose when the child becomes more independent and develops their own opinions.

I'm agreeing with this unless the baybee becomes a clone of her moo in every way. If she reflects back all of her own choices then she'll "love" her even more each day.

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twocents
and cambion, this could also be the stockholme syndrome spewing as well. she has to brainwash herself into believing she's happy with this shit

I have definitely suspected that the thing that keeps 99 percent of parents from abandoning or killing their kids is some kind of fucked-up maternal Stockholm syndrome. It seems strange that such a small and easily overpowered creature could make a grown-ass adult feel imprisoned (as opposed to a fully grown adult keeping another adult captive), but it's a self-made prison and you're socially shunned for trying to escape it. So the person isn't physically trapped, but they are mentally, emotionally and sometimes financially trapped by the child.

So if you can't escape, you may as well try to like this tiny screeching asshole you created. Oh but parenting is so fulfilling and worthwhile and it's our purpose as humans! Yes, parenting is so beautiful and wonderful that people who do it have to develop mental illnesses and coping mechanisms just to make them continue doing it.