Welcome! Log In Create A New Profile

Advanced

Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either

Posted by Cambion 
From r/AITA, of course. After the (admittedly grown) daughter's emotional support dog got hit by a car and taken to the vet, Duh decided that since he got the dog for his kid, it is his property and so he gets to make the call on its fate. He decides that the dog is not worth $2,000 to patch up, even though he can afford it, and that the dog had "served its purpose" by making his adult daughter happy and mentally stable enough to get a job, go to school and volunteer instead of wallowing in mental illness. The dog would also "probably" be disabled from the accident.

So he decided to have it put down without his daughter's consent and without her being present to try to talk him down. She said she would have paid him back for the dog's care too. The prick has the nerve to ask the internet if he's the asshole in this situation. He claims his daughter has forgiven him, but is acting distant - gee I wonder why?

I don't necessarily care that the dog is an emotional support animal, but the fact the guy killed his kid's dog because he didn't want to pay for the vet to save its life and didn't want his daughter to pay for its treatment either is making everyone absolutely seethe. He's also mad that people are sending him nasty PMs. He's also too much of a coward to use his main account because his relatives know his main Reddit username.

I especially love the whole "the dog did its job so we can throw it away now" mindset. Does he not get how things like therapy and medication and overall treatments for health issues work? His kid's menta health problems are chronic and you don't just stop treatment because you feel better. You have to keep using treatment indefinitely. He also claims the dog was almost to the halfway point of its standard life expectancy as another good reason to kill it.

If the story is true, I hope his kid kills him too.



old.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/fgrzdv/aita_for_euthanizing_my_daughters_emotional/



Quote

My daughter recently turned 20. She’s been dealing with major depressive disorder, social anxiety, anorexia, body dysmorphic disorder, and two autoimmune diseases since she was around 12. I’m very involved in her treatment and obviously wanted her to get better, so when her therapist recommended getting her a dog to register as an ESA, we got her one for her 16th birthday, named Juniper. I generally dislike animals, but it was for my daughters sake, so I caved. Juni and my daughter grew close and I have seen a notable difference in her since we got the dog, especially in her sense of independence and self-esteem. Four years later, my daughter is now a part-time tutor, volunteers with the elderly, and attends school full-time with excellent grades. I’m so proud of how far she’s come and though I realize she has a ways to go, Juni has helped her and I credit the dog for that immensely.

Here’s the problem. While my daughter was at school, Juni got out of the house and got hit by a car since we live right in front of a busy street. My wife and I rushed her into the vet and were told that Juni would need surgery, which would cost somewhere in the ballpark of $2000. I make a good salary, but I just cannot justify spending that much on a dog, especially when it may not even work and Juni would probably be crippled. Plus, she was pushing five years old, and her breed usually only lives for nine to ten years. Due to all these reasons, I decided the humane and logical decision would be to euthanize Juni.

At this point I called my daughter to let her know the situation and the solution I’d chosen, and she freaked out on me. She tried telling me how she had $700 in savings and would quickly find a job to pay me back the rest, to which I declined because A) it’s not just about the money and cool smiley I don’t want to risk ruining her mental health by her getting a job, especially since she’d likely have to quit one of her volunteer jobs which have helped her so much. I explained this to her, but she wasn’t hearing reason, so I put my foot down and said my decision was final because the dog was technically mine since I paid for it, then I hung up. We put Juni down surrounding her with love and gratitude.

When we got home, my daughter had just pulled in and was hysterical. I told her she was too old to be acting like this and one part of becoming a competent, independent adult was accepting what life throws at you. Now she isn’t speaking to me. I’m beginning to think I should’ve at least told her where we were so she could say goodbye. On the other hand, Juni already served her purpose in helping my daughter and she only had the dog for four years, so I don’t understand the huge overreaction. AITA?

EDIT: Jesus Christ. Message received, I guess i’m TA. I still believe I made the best choice, but I suppose I could’ve let her be more involved.

Some people are asking the same questions so I’ll answer them here:

-I am not a sociopath. I am just excellent at separating emotion in preference of logic, especially in times of crisis. This does not mean I don’t feel anything. I love my daughter more than anything in the world.

-My wife was 100% on my side for the actual decision of putting Juni down and agreed our daughter should not witness it. She did, however, disagree with the words and tone I used towards my daughter when we got home, which is where I began wondering if I was the AH.

-I am not and have never been jealous of Juni. That’s ridiculous. She was an emotional crutch for my daughter and will always be special to me in that way. My daughter did not love me any less after getting the dog, if anything she loved me more.

LASTLY, thought I would update you all that I did, in fact, talk to my daughter today. It took her some time to let me in but once she did I was able to explain my side, give her my reasonings for what I did, and convince her to forgive me. She agreed, and we are all moving past this asap. I’m actually about to run out and get her favorite fast food for dinner and we’re having a family movie night. She is still acting distant and mopey but she has her regular therapist appointment tomorrow so I’m confident she can vent there and her therapist can help her get through this without any permanent damage. Btw I also offered to get her another dog, which wasn’t easy for me, and she declined so I don’t think her bond with the dog and like for animals in general was as “unbreakable” and “solid” as all you commenters are claiming. Juni just wasn’t meant to be around that long and i’m glad my daughter was able to have four years with a dog she liked. Now we’re moving on, the end.

EDIT 2: To everyone leaving horrendous messages to me in my DM’s, take a look at yourself and the words you’re using against me, and consider how hypocritical it is that you’re calling ME the asshole when you’re telling me you hope my daughter murders me.
I thought breeding was supposed to make you more empathetic? Not towards the household pets, I guess. “We can kill it because we’re done using it” is a pretty special way of thinking.

The mindset of “my child is better now, I can stop trying” is baffling to me. The same thing happened with a family member and his autistic kid. The kid was a mess, was diagnosed with autism, went through behavioral therapy, and got a lot better. Suddenly after two years the breeders decided “junior is all better now, we don’t need therapy any more” and stopped doing everything that had been working. To no one’s surprise, the kid is worse than ever. Do parents of diabetics suddenly take them off insulin because their diabetes is under control?

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin
Sounds like the municipal manager who is the asshole in our community with saying "served it's purpose". Yes, the asshole

Only halfway through the dog's lifespan? How would the OP like to be (made not alive anymore) at age 40? He must be relatively young.
I also noticed the prick offered to get her another dog and she refused, which he uses as proof that her bond with animals isn't as unbreakable as the comments claim. Uhhh that makes no sense. She probably isn't ready for another dog because she's still mourning the loss of the one she had that was unnecessarily killed for the sake of convenience. She was obviously bonded with that dog. That, and she's probably concerned her asshat of a father will find an excuse to kill the second dog too.

I'm sure he also doesn't care that killing his daughter's dog undid years of progress with therapy and she will probably need more therapy to get over her loss on top of her regular therapy. If Duh is paying for therapy, he's going to probably pay more than $2,000 to fix his kid's head than if he just helped the dog.

That is until he decides that therapy is a waste of money too. After all, look how sad his daughter is now in spite of the therapy! eye rolling smiley No sense keeping her in therapy when it's "not working" amirite?

I hope this girl can get the hell away from her father, especially since it sounds like her maternal unit is on Duh's side, so she has absolutely no one to support her. But with her profound list of mental illnesses, she may be incapable of living independently and affording the care she needs.
That poor girl and that poor dog . Wow.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud
This person is a monster and there's a special place in hell for individuals who do this. That dog served the family and what did they do to it in the end? Absolutely disgusting.

I'm in a few large for my dog now who has some health issues (not life threatening although at first they thought she had cancer) and there's NO amount of money I wouldn't give to save her. That goes for all of my critters.

Breeding does not make someone a better person. If anything, it makes someone who's bad, worse. Some humans aren't worth the ground they occupy. These people shouldn't be in charge of a houseplant let alone kids or animals.
Dad is a huge POS. I wonder how daughter will treat him if he should ever need special care in his old age.

It takes a child to raze a village.
Quote
cj
Dad is a huge POS. I wonder how daughter will treat him if he should ever need special care in his old age.

If it was me, I'd be the first in line to pull the plug on that POS.
Holy heck, what an awful day to be able to read.

I still do hope that it was just a troll. I mean - how much of a narcissistic, toxic piece of shit must one be to actually pull this murderous crap on the poor animal and go to reddit afterwards to look for twisted confirmation??

Good thing he got his nasty ass roasted by everyone. Also kinda *cute* how he got upset and defensive at people saying that he was jealous of the dog. Hit a nerve, huh, Breederino McControlfreak??
And offering the daughter 'her favorite fast food' and a 'new dog' for forgiveness?? Holy fuck..this is...low. Fucking low. And dumb too- what Cambion said. The dumbass can't even form conclusions properly. If it were me, I would have shoved him that fucking fast food up where the sun won't ever shine and kicked his arse so bad it wouldn't even be funny no more.

And I bet that 99% of the poor daughters mental health issues originate from these evil, twisted, pathologically selfish, incompetent and money-focused breeder twats, that don't even know how 'empathy' is spelled.

I hate this person with all my heart and hope that the daughter got away safely by now and would never have contact with these monstrosities again. And of course, that they rot away all by themselves when they are 'not useful' anymore, just like they said about the poor animal.

Same goes for any of these bloody fuckfaces who throw out or murder their pets after getting BayBeees angry flipping off

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik
I'm also hoping that it's just a troll trying to get a rise out of everyone, but I know how narcissists are and this is absolutely not outside the realm of possibility for them. Right down to them justifying their actions.

Quote
bastet-the-bass-cat
And I bet that 99% of the poor daughters mental health issues originate from these evil, twisted, pathologically selfish, incompetent and money-focused breeder twats, that don't even know how 'empathy' is spelled.

I didn't even think about this, but now that you mention it, it's definitely a distinct possibility. I mean the two auto-immune disorders were likely either bad luck or genetics, but the depression, anxiety, anorexia and body dysmorphia could easily be the result of her upbringing. Especially when Moo sides with Duh, so the girl had absolutely nobody in her corner. They probably isolated her from friends and peers so she couldn't tell anyone how they treated her, they probably told her she was fat her whole life and that likely led to the anorexia and body dysmorphia, and any child of a narcissist will tell you that growing up with a narcissist parent is a recipe for depression. I'm shocked they even allow her to go to therapy because she might bad-mouth them to the shrink, unless they insist on joining her in her therapy sessions to ensure she doesn't tattle on them.

If she was able to get away from them, I wonder how much of her diagnoses would magically get better.
Totally agree. I would've also sicked the new dog on the fast food I just freshly shoved up his ass. Also hoping this was a troll post but the way things are going, I have my doubts. sad smiley
Quote
Cambion

I didn't even think about this, but now that you mention it, it's definitely a distinct possibility. I mean the two auto-immune disorders were likely either bad luck or genetics, but the depression, anxiety, anorexia and body dysmorphia could easily be the result of her upbringing. Especially when Moo sides with Duh, so the girl had absolutely nobody in her corner. They probably isolated her from friends and peers so she couldn't tell anyone how they treated her, they probably told her she was fat her whole life and that likely led to the anorexia and body dysmorphia, and any child of a narcissist will tell you that growing up with a narcissist parent is a recipe for depression. I'm shocked they even allow her to go to therapy because she might bad-mouth them to the shrink, unless they insist on joining her in her therapy sessions to ensure she doesn't tattle on them.

If she was able to get away from them, I wonder how much of her diagnoses would magically get better.

100% this! Assuming the post is real, all of this would fit well into the picture of narcissistic abuse tactics, thinking of isolation, body-shaming, control-type mind games with the poor kid, infantilization/belittling feelings and decisions (taken to the extreme in this event with the dog murder without even telling her where it happend and maximally excluding her from the process).

About the whole shrink thing, I think there might be a few different possibilities at play. If it's the one with the breederillos being present and/or the daughter going to a shrink the family knows, making sure that shrink is on their side viewpoint-wise, then it might be just another instrument of control.
I mean let's be honest here - not all shrinks are good people. There are more than enough assholes in the trade that do significantly more harm than good. Especially if they have, let's say, terrible, conservative/sexist mindsets (I could name examples of 'speciMENs' like that, who even wrote equally awful books, but they are so toxic that I feel grossed out even just typing the names. We all can imagine who it is).

Another element of control could even be the still-ongoing stigmatization of therapy, á la 'That person sees a shrink, there's gotta be something massively wrong with them'. So, it could be a conscious or subconcious tool for these tools (pun?) to further discredit the feelings of their daughter, infront of herself and others too. All while painting themselves as 'super-caring' on the outside: 'Hey, look, I'm paying for therapy for my oh-so troubled kid (that I have, of course, absolutely no fault in *insert self-righteous halo here*)'

The final one I can think of would be that the narci-breeders seriously believe that there is nothing wrong with them or their behavior. They may fully disconnect their objective issues from the mental health problems of the daughter. Basically, like some hard-core narcissists, they think they are fully a-okay, and the issues of the daughter are 'just' everything wrong with her. So they wouldn't even think twice about shoving her to a shrink, thinking that they are fully in the right anyway.

As a personal example - I know a person who was dating a narcissist (former junkie even), and they seriously tried to literally bully/gaslight my friend into seing a shrink, trying to convince them that they had every bloody disorder in the book.
And all that, despite the reactions of my friend to the narc-abuse being fully rational and the narc-tendencies of the ex-junkie being absolutely textbook. I suppose these kinda folks just don't get it and seek explanations for stuff they don't like everywhere but within themselves. Projection is helluva drug.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Freedom & Art & Music >>>>>>>>>> human spawn

"Music is immortal. People are not."
-William Anger, "King's Story" - Thief2 FM by Zontik
Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.

Click here to login