Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either March 26, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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My daughter recently turned 20. She’s been dealing with major depressive disorder, social anxiety, anorexia, body dysmorphic disorder, and two autoimmune diseases since she was around 12. I’m very involved in her treatment and obviously wanted her to get better, so when her therapist recommended getting her a dog to register as an ESA, we got her one for her 16th birthday, named Juniper. I generally dislike animals, but it was for my daughters sake, so I caved. Juni and my daughter grew close and I have seen a notable difference in her since we got the dog, especially in her sense of independence and self-esteem. Four years later, my daughter is now a part-time tutor, volunteers with the elderly, and attends school full-time with excellent grades. I’m so proud of how far she’s come and though I realize she has a ways to go, Juni has helped her and I credit the dog for that immensely.
Here’s the problem. While my daughter was at school, Juni got out of the house and got hit by a car since we live right in front of a busy street. My wife and I rushed her into the vet and were told that Juni would need surgery, which would cost somewhere in the ballpark of $2000. I make a good salary, but I just cannot justify spending that much on a dog, especially when it may not even work and Juni would probably be crippled. Plus, she was pushing five years old, and her breed usually only lives for nine to ten years. Due to all these reasons, I decided the humane and logical decision would be to euthanize Juni.
At this point I called my daughter to let her know the situation and the solution I’d chosen, and she freaked out on me. She tried telling me how she had $700 in savings and would quickly find a job to pay me back the rest, to which I declined because A) it’s not just about the money and I don’t want to risk ruining her mental health by her getting a job, especially since she’d likely have to quit one of her volunteer jobs which have helped her so much. I explained this to her, but she wasn’t hearing reason, so I put my foot down and said my decision was final because the dog was technically mine since I paid for it, then I hung up. We put Juni down surrounding her with love and gratitude.
When we got home, my daughter had just pulled in and was hysterical. I told her she was too old to be acting like this and one part of becoming a competent, independent adult was accepting what life throws at you. Now she isn’t speaking to me. I’m beginning to think I should’ve at least told her where we were so she could say goodbye. On the other hand, Juni already served her purpose in helping my daughter and she only had the dog for four years, so I don’t understand the huge overreaction. AITA?
EDIT: Jesus Christ. Message received, I guess i’m TA. I still believe I made the best choice, but I suppose I could’ve let her be more involved.
Some people are asking the same questions so I’ll answer them here:
-I am not a sociopath. I am just excellent at separating emotion in preference of logic, especially in times of crisis. This does not mean I don’t feel anything. I love my daughter more than anything in the world.
-My wife was 100% on my side for the actual decision of putting Juni down and agreed our daughter should not witness it. She did, however, disagree with the words and tone I used towards my daughter when we got home, which is where I began wondering if I was the AH.
-I am not and have never been jealous of Juni. That’s ridiculous. She was an emotional crutch for my daughter and will always be special to me in that way. My daughter did not love me any less after getting the dog, if anything she loved me more.
LASTLY, thought I would update you all that I did, in fact, talk to my daughter today. It took her some time to let me in but once she did I was able to explain my side, give her my reasonings for what I did, and convince her to forgive me. She agreed, and we are all moving past this asap. I’m actually about to run out and get her favorite fast food for dinner and we’re having a family movie night. She is still acting distant and mopey but she has her regular therapist appointment tomorrow so I’m confident she can vent there and her therapist can help her get through this without any permanent damage. Btw I also offered to get her another dog, which wasn’t easy for me, and she declined so I don’t think her bond with the dog and like for animals in general was as “unbreakable” and “solid” as all you commenters are claiming. Juni just wasn’t meant to be around that long and i’m glad my daughter was able to have four years with a dog she liked. Now we’re moving on, the end.
EDIT 2: To everyone leaving horrendous messages to me in my DM’s, take a look at yourself and the words you’re using against me, and consider how hypocritical it is that you’re calling ME the asshole when you’re telling me you hope my daughter murders me.
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either March 26, 2024 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 1,998 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either March 26, 2024 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 1,863 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either March 27, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either March 30, 2024 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,453 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either April 04, 2024 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 8,022 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either April 06, 2024 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 623 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either April 09, 2024 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 8,022 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either April 11, 2024 | Registered: 6 years ago Posts: 108 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either April 12, 2024 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 10,155 |
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bastet-the-bass-cat
And I bet that 99% of the poor daughters mental health issues originate from these evil, twisted, pathologically selfish, incompetent and money-focused breeder twats, that don't even know how 'empathy' is spelled.
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either April 12, 2024 | Registered: 14 years ago Posts: 8,022 |
Re: Dad of the year has kid's dog euthanized because he didn't want to spend $2K to save it, wouldn't let daughter pay either April 17, 2024 | Registered: 6 years ago Posts: 108 |
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Cambion
I didn't even think about this, but now that you mention it, it's definitely a distinct possibility. I mean the two auto-immune disorders were likely either bad luck or genetics, but the depression, anxiety, anorexia and body dysmorphia could easily be the result of her upbringing. Especially when Moo sides with Duh, so the girl had absolutely nobody in her corner. They probably isolated her from friends and peers so she couldn't tell anyone how they treated her, they probably told her she was fat her whole life and that likely led to the anorexia and body dysmorphia, and any child of a narcissist will tell you that growing up with a narcissist parent is a recipe for depression. I'm shocked they even allow her to go to therapy because she might bad-mouth them to the shrink, unless they insist on joining her in her therapy sessions to ensure she doesn't tattle on them.
If she was able to get away from them, I wonder how much of her diagnoses would magically get better.