Single Mum vs Single Dad

I notice on some research about the burden when people date a single parent and I notice more cons than pros of marrying/dating a single parents.

On top of it I have compare the 2 sides of the coins: Single Mum and Single Dad.

Marry or date Single Mum:
Pros - Give them stability, better role model than DNA (real) Dad
Cons - Because you give them stability you take their place to become a wallet just like a real DNA Dad, you will be liable as a parent like it is like your own, end up paying child support.

Marry or date Single Dad:
Pros - She will be more better than a real/DNA mum
Cons - She will might have to go through all the burden like a real mum. As soon as a single dad gets married again or find a new partner, the ex-partner which is a DNA mum comes back to the man's life whining about the child and stop at nothing to sabotage a relationship. The ex-woman (mum) end up getting jealous and find a way to have him back.

My current information might not be correct/accurate but you folks can correct me or add some pro/cons of dating a single mum/dad.

Cons for a woman dating a childed man:

Has to endure the baby mamma drama from the ex
Ex always has her hand in your wallet for money
Ex will play head games with the kid causing constant problems
Behavior issues with the kid will interfere
Kid will almost always be in the forefront
Any special situations, issues, etc., with the kid will always necessitate the need for your man to get involved and hear the ex's drama

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> Cons for a woman dating a childed man:
>
> Has to endure the baby mamma drama from the ex
> Ex always has her hand in your wallet for money
> Ex will play head games with the kid causing
> constant problems
> Behavior issues with the kid will interfere
> Kid will almost always be in the forefront
> Any special situations, issues, etc., with the kid
> will always necessitate the need for your man to
> get involved and hear the ex's drama

THIS. Wouldn't go near one.

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Cons for a woman dating a childed man:
>
> Has to endure the baby mamma drama from the ex
> Ex always has her hand in your wallet for money
> Ex will play head games with the kid causing
> constant problems
> Behavior issues with the kid will interfere
> Kid will almost always be in the forefront
> Any special situations, issues, etc., with the kid
> will always necessitate the need for your man to
> get involved and hear the ex's drama


All of this and more which I don't have the space to list everything from my experience of making the foolish mistake of a lifetime and marrying a childed bastard.

The absolute worst is the CONSTANT (IT NEVER GOES AWAY) drama between duddy and bio mommy and among their respective famblees, including but not limited to, meemaws/peepaws and their feelings and wishes, aunts and uncles on both sides, and the bio mommy herself who is ALWAYS jealous of the new wife. Her main fear is that the new wife will pop out "one of their own" and take some of the lights off of her carousel. When she finally figures out that the new wife does NOT plan on having kyds, then she rationalizes that she must hate either kyds OR is trying to take her kyd away,(because she never REALLY believes you are barren by choice) get her kyd "on their side", etc....., which is cause for more fictitionalized drama on her part. A CF woman marrying a childed man is like marrying him, his EX wife AND all of her famblee as well. It's an automatic marriage to a third party AND a complete 2nd set of inlaws which must be dealt with on a regular basis because everybody has "the chyldd's" best interest at heart, which couldn't be further from the truth. They have THEIR best interest at heart and will use, take advantage of, try to get new wife on their "side", etc........but regardless of the outcome they have an unspoken "blood is thicker than water" mentality and the new wife ALWAYS loses, possibly as much as "the child" they are all so allegedly worried about.

That's just the ex and her famblee. Then there's the matter of the duddy himself, which is a nightmare. Once that ring goes on your finger then in his eyes, you may just as well have given birth because NOW he sees you as a moomie to his fucking kyd. He treats you as if YOU are the one who is the bio moomie and will say passive aggressive shit to confirm this like, "I'd give anything if you had been her mother", or "She is so much like you and I am so glad she isn't like her REAL mother", "she loves you so much, I don't know how she would turn out if you hadn't come along". (All of these "sayings" and more can and DO get turned around, rephrased and used against the new wife, as needed) Then, he lays as much of the child rearing responsibility on the new wife as humanly possibly (gradually) and uses guilt tactics to keep her complaining to a minimum. He pockets child support money for his own selfish wants and expects the new wife to pick up the slack, pay more than her share of bills, and makes himself scarce when kiddie related financial incidentals come along, which is EVERY DAY. He never misses an opportunity to use the "child card" either, more so perhaps than his ex wife does, which is quite frequently. Basically, they BOTH use their kyd for their own selfish purposes and discard the kyd when not in use. Kyds and new wives ALWAYS lose when the duddy and moomie have never emotionally divorced from one another. No new wives want to admit it, but OFTEN times when there is a kyd involved, NEITHER of them have emotionally divorced. Instead, they suck ALL new parties (and some existing ones) into their sick/unhealthy "love drama". They are usually still sneaking off and fucking as well, I believe.

In essense, when a childed man who has custody (or later gets) of his kyd and remarries, he is MUCH better of than when he was a divorced weekend duddy and MUCH MUCH better off than when he was married to a breeder. He now has TWO women who (in his mind) vy for taking care of his spawn as WELL as a new set of grandmoos/peepaws to shower said kyd with gifts and a new household (or more) to dump his kyd off at when he has something fun that he wishes to do and the new wife is fed up with his shit. Now, he has 1/3 the kyd related responsibilty (or less) than before he remarried, he has the second income, less than HALF of the prior bills he had AND he gets the child support check, which he pockets.So, he gets PAID IN CASH and gets at least half of his bills paid, a clean and organized house, meals, and sex, for doing nothing more than finding a sucker. A childed man who remarries a CF career woman has just gotten a HUGE raise in terms of financial gain AND a lot of free time from raising his own kyd. He is basically a bachelor who can do as he pleases but with the "Im a duddy" debit card with a seemingly endless line of credit, and a low maintenance wife, for when
it's convenient.

NEVER should a CF woman take a risk such as this, ever. The only way a woman could benefit from marrying a childed man is if she wants kyds "of their own", and she has little or no education or marketable job skills. Any other CF woman would be a fool to marry a childed man with minor brats. This type of man is the WORST type of con artist and should be shot upon sight. Until that is made legal though, a complete avoidance of childed men by CF women should work just as well.JUST SAY NO, to childed men. I'll have to think about a childed moo marrying a CF man for a while to come up with a comment. While that can't be a walk on the beach, it could not POSSIBLY be any worse than the CF woman and the childed man scenario, I don't believe.

Well put.

For the record, let me say there are NO "pros" when it comes to dating breeders. No matter how strong your love is or how deep the passion, you will always play second fiddle to the spawn and other breeder(s). You will lose every argument, you will be expected to put everyone else ahead of you and most of all you will have constant drama, consternation and bullshit.

DO NOT DATE A SINGLE BREEDER. How much clearer can that be?

I've never been in the situation, but I have to say that I can't see that there could be any pros. It seems to me that your adult relationship would always have to come after the breeder/kyd relationship, beginning with those asinine "family wedding ceremonies" that I heard so much about when I was planning my own nuptials.

I have heard of successful CF to childed marriages IF the kyds were grown. However, expect in rare circumstances that too is dangerous ground. Grandpups will no doubt come into the picture, arguments over how much money is spent helping out adult children, how much money is spent on grandpups, how often and the duration of grandpup visits, who gets left what in the famblee will, the "That belonged to my mother" whine in the case of a deceased moomie when a household item is chucked to the curb or sold, etc........It has been my observation that the GREATEST problem of older couple remarriages when adult kyds are involved is MONEY. They feel entitled to their duddy's money as if they are still small children. Never mind if he was still married to their moomie that things wouldn't be any different, never mind that their moomie never worked a day in her life and that 2nd wife has contributed to their savings/assets for 15 years before duddy died, THEY WANT "HIS" money. Adult kyds from prior marriages are especially greedy when duddy dies regardless of how many decades the "new wife"(she never loses that title) has been married to their dad. They ALWAYS want something when duddy dies, even if it belongs to the "new wife" legally, actually, and often times BEFORE she had the misfortune of ever laying her eyes on their dad.

Very well put, kidlesskim. I'm SO GLAD I dumped my ex when I did. We were trying again after he'd knocked up some bitch he met on the internet. She was a rebound after I left him. I should never have continued after he told me the bitch was preggo with what "might have been" his kid. After all the drama and jealousy, I find out it IS his after all. I wanted NOTHING to do with some other bitch's kid. Thank the stars above that I took off when I did. FUCK him and his stupid, drama laden mistake.

You DON'T want to date someone who is childed. One way or another, it will be non-stop melodrama revolving around the kyd(s). If it's a woman you're dating, they could end up either making you pay child support if the DNA dad won't, or she will be trying to "oops" you.

If you date a man, one way or another, his ex will ALWAYS be in the picture. You will be having to constantly deal with babymama, either directly yourself, or having to witnessthe babydaddy going through it.

A few years ago, I was fell in love with a woman and was willing to give stepfatherhood a chance. Believe me, that was the dumbest, most naiive decision I could have ever made! I was not allowed to discipline the kyd...everything I did was overruled by Moo...by the time I left, I could see why the DNA duh divorced her and took off (however, even if he does not want to be a father, he does support the child generously...and, unbelievably, he does so voluntarily. The only things the bitch cares about are spoiling her little fucktrophy (her goal is to make sure he never has to work) and getting everything she can out of a wallet.

If you are non-childed, stay away from the childed! Believe me, you do NOT want the hassle.