KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> Cons for a woman dating a childed man:
>
> Has to endure the baby mamma drama from the ex
> Ex always has her hand in your wallet for money
> Ex will play head games with the kid causing
> constant problems
> Behavior issues with the kid will interfere
> Kid will almost always be in the forefront
> Any special situations, issues, etc., with the kid
> will always necessitate the need for your man to
> get involved and hear the ex's drama
All of this and more which I don't have the space to list everything from my experience of making the foolish mistake of a lifetime and marrying a childed bastard.
The absolute worst is the CONSTANT (IT NEVER GOES AWAY) drama between duddy and bio mommy and among their respective famblees, including but not limited to, meemaws/peepaws and their feelings and wishes, aunts and uncles on both sides, and the bio mommy herself who is ALWAYS jealous of the new wife. Her main fear is that the new wife will pop out "one of their own" and take some of the lights off of her carousel. When she finally figures out that the new wife does NOT plan on having kyds, then she rationalizes that she must hate either kyds OR is trying to take her kyd away,(because she never REALLY believes you are barren by choice) get her kyd "on their side", etc....., which is cause for more fictitionalized drama on her part. A CF woman marrying a childed man is like marrying him, his EX wife AND all of her famblee as well. It's an automatic marriage to a third party AND a complete 2nd set of inlaws which must be dealt with on a regular basis because everybody has "the chyldd's" best interest at heart, which couldn't be further from the truth. They have THEIR best interest at heart and will use, take advantage of, try to get new wife on their "side", etc........but regardless of the outcome they have an unspoken "blood is thicker than water" mentality and the new wife ALWAYS loses, possibly as much as "the child" they are all so allegedly worried about.
That's just the ex and her famblee. Then there's the matter of the duddy himself, which is a nightmare. Once that ring goes on your finger then in his eyes, you may just as well have given birth because NOW he sees you as a moomie to his fucking kyd. He treats you as if YOU are the one who is the bio moomie and will say passive aggressive shit to confirm this like, "I'd give anything if you had been her mother", or "She is so much like you and I am so glad she isn't like her REAL mother", "she loves you so much, I don't know how she would turn out if you hadn't come along". (All of these "sayings" and more can and DO get turned around, rephrased and used against the new wife, as needed) Then, he lays as much of the child rearing responsibility on the new wife as humanly possibly (gradually) and uses guilt tactics to keep her complaining to a minimum. He pockets child support money for his own selfish wants and expects the new wife to pick up the slack, pay more than her share of bills, and makes himself scarce when kiddie related financial incidentals come along, which is EVERY DAY. He never misses an opportunity to use the "child card" either, more so perhaps than his ex wife does, which is quite frequently. Basically, they BOTH use their kyd for their own selfish purposes and discard the kyd when not in use. Kyds and new wives ALWAYS lose when the duddy and moomie have never emotionally divorced from one another. No new wives want to admit it, but OFTEN times when there is a kyd involved, NEITHER of them have emotionally divorced. Instead, they suck ALL new parties (and some existing ones) into their sick/unhealthy "love drama". They are usually still sneaking off and fucking as well, I believe.
In essense, when a childed man who has custody (or later gets) of his kyd and remarries, he is MUCH better of than when he was a divorced weekend duddy and MUCH MUCH better off than when he was married to a breeder. He now has TWO women who (in his mind) vy for taking care of his spawn as WELL as a new set of grandmoos/peepaws to shower said kyd with gifts and a new household (or more) to dump his kyd off at when he has something fun that he wishes to do and the new wife is fed up with his shit. Now, he has 1/3 the kyd related responsibilty (or less) than before he remarried, he has the second income, less than HALF of the prior bills he had AND he gets the child support check, which he pockets.So, he gets PAID IN CASH and gets at least half of his bills paid, a clean and organized house, meals, and sex, for doing nothing more than finding a sucker. A childed man who remarries a CF career woman has just gotten a HUGE raise in terms of financial gain AND a lot of free time from raising his own kyd. He is basically a bachelor who can do as he pleases but with the "Im a duddy" debit card with a seemingly endless line of credit, and a low maintenance wife, for when
it's convenient.
NEVER should a CF woman take a risk such as this, ever. The only way a woman could benefit from marrying a childed man is if she wants kyds "of their own", and she has little or no education or marketable job skills. Any other CF woman would be a fool to marry a childed man with minor brats. This type of man is the WORST type of con artist and should be shot upon sight. Until that is made legal though, a complete avoidance of childed men by CF women should work just as well.JUST SAY NO, to childed men. I'll have to think about a childed moo marrying a CF man for a while to come up with a comment. While that can't be a walk on the beach, it could not POSSIBLY be any worse than the CF woman and the childed man scenario, I don't believe.