Kids are the biggest drag on marriage...

It was just on Stern today, if your kid has ADHD youre more likely to have an divorce.

Then, they were saying, people like to say kids are not the fault of divorce but they definitely are.

They go on, they drag the marriage down, they usually are too much for most people, you can't go anywhere, of course they are the cause of divorce!

Then they say they are fun if they aren't your own, but other wise the noise level and someone is always crying, it is just a pain and chaos.

I love more of the truth.

Dr. Phil always spews alot of BS about how kids have an 'uncanny ability' to see everything as their fault. But do you think he would ever want to tell the truth to his 10 million viewers? Hell no, he wants everyone to believe that kids are in no way responsible for the breakdown of anyone's marriage, but I also believe they are the number one cause of divorce. They are probably going to be the cause of mine (the spawn my husband had with his former breeder cunt).

NAM, that's really sad.

Maybe it's not so much the mere existence of children but more the mother's reaction to the children. Suddenly, the man she chose to marry is just a means to an end. She expects him to provide the money, sperm and little else. He can't possibly take care of the children, because in the Moo's eyes he's doing it all wrong. Their relationship goes down the tubes because the Moo is no longer interested in maintaining it, and instead is putting all her time and energy into "TMIJITW", which makes her bitter because someone still has to go out and make money so they can have a roof over their heads. She gets jealous because he has this "fun" career and he gets jealous because all she does is care for the children.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

My husband and I used to be friends with a couple from my old work. 5 years ago they decided to sprog (he's 52 now and she's 48 too damn old for kids). Anyway, we had to drop them as friends last year because their child is the most hyperactive, attention seeking brat we've ever met. He wasn't so bad when he was a baby, but at around 3 1/2 he turned into the child from hell. His mother thinks he's cute and laughs at all of his poor behavior. Duh is getting too old to deal with his crap and just fades into the background to let moo handle it. Yesterday, we had dinner with a mutual friend and found out they were separating. She also said the kid was worse than ever. The pediatrician diagnosed him with ADHD, his kindergarten teacher is constantly complaining. Moo won't put him on meds and Duh wants him medicated. Before they sprogged they had a great marriage of 15 years. This kid ruined the life they had, not to mention he's destroyed their house. Dr. Phil is wrong.

Dr. Phil is so wrong. I know many couples who were married for many years, decided to breed and are now divorced.


Most divorced after the kids were out of they cute stage, and in the pain in the ass stage.

It's a fact that if a marriage is at all wobbly, the added strain of kids will do it in. I'm amazed that women are willing to throw their husbands under the bus so they can show the world what miracles they are capable of.

Ironically, isn't what marriage is originally for?

Producing future generations, of course!XD

(No offense to happily married CF couples, BTW!)

Dr Phil has an 'uncanny ability' to say the exact opposite of what is true. Every kid -- and most adults -- have an uncanny ability to blame whatever shit happens to them on someone else.

When a kid goes catatonic upon learning his miserable parents are splitting up, it's not because he blames himself. Not at ANY age. He goes catatonic because he can't believe that the glorious wonderful joy of all joys in their lives -- that is, HE -- cannot somehow be enough to keep them together.

Kids think they take precident over their parents. Well that's what the parents have been leading them to believe all along, with year upon year of special 24-7 attention, endless treats and praise. When mom and dad announce splitsville, the kid is furious that THEY are doing this to HIM, not the other way around.

Not a lot of kids say "It's my fault," but when they do, they're not blaming themselves for being rotten -- no, that'd be impossible -- they're blaming themselves for not having as much emotional power over their parents as they believed they had.

Don't they know ANYTHING about juvenile mentality? Twats.

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

Amethyst Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Dr Phil has an 'uncanny ability' to say the exact
> opposite of what is true. Every kid -- and most
> adults -- have an uncanny ability to blame
> whatever shit happens to them on someone else.
>
> When a kid goes catatonic upon learning his
> miserable parents are splitting up, it's not
> because he blames himself. Not at ANY age. He goes
> catatonic because he can't believe that the
> glorious wonderful joy of all joys in their lives
> -- that is, HE -- cannot somehow be enough to keep
> them together.
>
> Kids think they take precident over their parents.
> Well that's what the parents have been leading
> them to believe all along, with year upon year of
> special 24-7 attention, endless treats and praise.
> When mom and dad announce splitsville, the kid is
> furious that THEY are doing this to HIM, not the
> other way around.
>
> Not a lot of kids say "It's my fault," but when
> they do, they're not blaming themselves for being
> rotten -- no, that'd be impossible -- they're
> blaming themselves for not having as much
> emotional power over their parents as they
> believed they had.
>

I think this is overwhemingly true.

And another thing. (I heart this topic!)

Brats bring out the worst in adults. Even adults who supposedly love kids. People marry other people whom they love -- these gorgeous, cool, fun, happy and healthy people. A couple years after kids, women see their husbands turning into snarling beasts, kicking toddlers away from biting their ankles, sexually frustrated, tripping over ugly toys strewn over every last inch of the house, becoming clinically obsessed about microscopic health and safety issues of every make of car seat-belt, shouting at every opportunity, being prevented from drinking, swearing, looking at porn, going out with the guys (everything the happy couple used to enjoy doing together pre-kids!). And men see their wives turn into screetching harpies, with their dangly tits seeping milk everywhere, great big wobbly arses encased in velour tracksuit bottoms, smelling of vomit and urine, with all the manners of an imprisoned neanderthal, and insistent upon turning every last square inch of property into a garish Tumbling Tots Nursery World with nowhere for an adult to hide. Mmmm nice. Imagine how good those suitcases must look to either of them.

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

I think that in some cases of divorce that kyds are absolutely the primary cause of it. This is especially true in the cases of his, hers, theirs, halves, and step, hodge podge famblees. It's more often than not something about the kyd(s) rather than the kyd itself, although I have seen that happen as well. They disagree on how the kyd is raised, how to discipline(or even IF to discipline), how much money gets spent on what and on which kyd, fights over the favorite kyd or the least favorite kyd, fights over step issues and former spouses and inlaws, etc.......and that's just the tip of the iceburg.

Rotten kyds or problem kyds like those with behavioral problems, various retard issues, and kyds who won't stop pissing on the bed by age ten, starts shoplifting at 14, or who gets on drugs at 16, do nothing but cause marital problems. Even the best kyds can fuck everything up by getting knocked up at 15 or by being a baby daddy at 16 and keeping it a secret until it's too late to have an abortion. I can think of no greater strain on my parents' marriage then if one of us has presented to them with a swollen belly just at the time they thought they were about to be released from Parent Prison. My mother's brother is going through that shit right now at age 61. His youngest kyd is 24 and got knocked up by a loser at 18, RIGHT BEFORE GRADUATION, and she now has 2 kyds with a meth addicted baby daddy and STILL lives at home.

Marriage can be difficult with kyds "of your own". Try adding other peoples' kyds to the mix and various strays like older halves and steps with problems AND a coupla of bastard kyds to the mix and it's a recipe for disaster. NO THANKS.

My parents were of a mind that their marriage came first and I came second. I can't say I suffered because of it (my adopted dad's abuse was, IMO, another issue altogether). They kept pretty much a united front when it came to discipline, so I didn't bother trying to play one against the other.

Sure, there are longstanding marriages with good kids, but I would be willing to bet that they put their marriage first (which makes perfect sense if one believes that a kid needs both parents), and they don't let the kids pull this crap of playing Mum against Da.

If you're married and you don't do the above, well, hell, sooner or later you'll be seeing Judge Mayblean!

Kim: great post

Kids suck and they ruin everything. Why even bother having them?

Of all the decisions I've made in my life, my choosing to be CF was the absolute BEST ever.

I thank my lucky stars every single day of my life that I am not strapped with kids. Life is awesome, so much to do and see. So much to experience. Why ruin it by having kids?