My uterus fell out last week

I hate corporate America and breeders, they just don't belong together.
Yesterday, I had a big meeting with a big customer. Well there was a scheduling conflict and I ended up sitting in the lobby with other people from other companies.
This young girl, discovers that her mom and I went to H.S. together. We were just making casual conversation and talking about what part of the area we are from. First of all this girl is 18 and just had a baby, which makes her mom who is my age ( 37 ) a grandma. I know she saw the look of horror on my face, when I disovered that.
Well she then proceeds to ask if I have shitlings. I replied, no my uterus fell out last week, while I was jogging. It fell out of my mouth before I could stop myself. She apologized for my illness and continued talking about her kid.
So now I am sure my whole gossiping hometown, thinks my uterus fell out last week. Atleast that will clear up the lesbian rumor.

...continued talking about her kid......

"You can't slit the throat of every cocksucker whose character it would improve."
-Al Swearingen

Rose Red Wrote:
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> ...continued talking about her kid......


She waas going on and on about how gifted her kid is, because it walks at the age of 6 months and talks.
At 18, I was busy making plans for going to Florida to party and trying to fiugre out how to get beer, not talking about kids and stupid kid crap.

annie35 Wrote:
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> I replied, no my uterus fell out last week, while
> I was jogging. It fell out of my mouth before I
> could stop myself. She apologized for my illness
> and continued talking about her kid.

I nearly died laughing. I did something similar with a breeder friend many years ago - she asked how I was, and I told her that I killed someone last week and was running off to join the French Foreign Legion. She said "that's nice" and just kept talking. Didn't even bat an eyelid!

I figured then that there wasn't any point in talking to her any more.

Annie, I'm with Catabat, I'm laughing my ass off here! :yr

Hilarious! Isn't that just like a breeder? You could say anything about your own life, anything at all, even if it's totally off-the-wall and untrue, but nothing interrupts their rampant diarrhea of the mouth when it comes to information about their kids. They'll tell every little detail about their kids to anyone that will listen.

It really is true that people view their kids as their ultimate accomplishment, their ultimate prize, and everything that comes out of their kids' mouths (or butts, it doesn't really matter to mommies) is pure, untarnished gold.

And yeah, at 18 I had more interest in going out with friends, going to the mall, dating, and playing video games than having a kid. The thought of having a kid at ANY age is terrifying to me, but having a kid that young has got to be pure hell.

Wow. A 6 month old talker, huh. Yea. RIGHT. What a little dipshit.

Haha! Annie maybe you can tape up some photocopied signs around your neighbourhood... "LOST: uterus. In pristine condition. Last seen dropping out of the leg of my sweatpants into the gutter. If found intact, please ring me on 1-219-444-5555. Reward for safe return to prevent others attempting to use it." accompanied by a bad ballpoint pen drawing of something that looks like a hot air balloon.

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

That is hilarious. And how stupid does someone have to be to not realize that uteri don't just fall out left and right on the jogging paths around town, like an earring or something? Whoopsie!--there it goes again!

Of course there's that hideous "prolapsed uterus" thing, but that's a different kettle of fish...

I'm laughing my ass off over this one, Annie!!! After she let the uterus thing slip right by you should have offered that your tits flew off while you were parasailing the week before.

I firmly believe that when a moocow is going on and on and on about one of her nurslings that they develop a sort of selective hearing. Basically they absolutely could not care any less about you, but are only interested in themselves. So, unless you ask a kiddie related question then they will actually hear (or comprehend) nothing that you have to say. Grandmoos are guilty of this as well as they skim over the perfunctory, "So, what's new with you?", only while you are telling them they are concentrating on everything that they plan on telling you about their genius, beautiful, or otherwise amazingly boring grandpup. I remember once when I was being baited by a grandmoo for the millionth time as she asked me how I was, so I was prepared when I replied, "Oh, enough about me, tell me about Baybee Shitterling!". The fact that I had yet to say ANYTHING about myself went right over her head and she proceeded to talk incessantly about said grandpup, which of course was her initial goal anyway when she asked me how I was doing.

I truly believe that moocows with baybee rabies, delayed onset baybee rabies, or kiddie fever, see each person they come into contact with as a target who they can imprison as a captive audience, even if for only a moment. I try to avoid them when I see them or if they "catch" me, I suddenly have somewhere I urgently have to be in a few short minutes.

They don't have legs?

"You can't slit the throat of every cocksucker whose character it would improve."
-Al Swearingen

Yea, when a breeder starts blathering on and on about their loaf, they behave in their typical fashion: selfish.

They hear nothing but their own voice and they have no regard for anybody else's life or what that person may be going thru.

It's all about them. Just like it always is.

*exhales* I took your title literally. Don't scare us like that!

Sorry you have to deal with Mrs.Boco Grande, people like that drive me crazy.