As a diehard Miss Manners loyalist, I'm not a big fan of Dear Prudence, but she did get a good one in today: http://www.slate.com/id/2203349?wpisrc=newsletter
Dear Prudence,
My sister is 20 years old, has an 18-month-old daughter, and is a great mother. She doesn't have much money, so she recently moved in with a new roommate. The roommate has a pet pit bull. I met the dog a couple of days ago, and while she is very sweet, she also seems to be pretty nervous. I know I was a new person to this dog, but overall what I saw was potentially a very dangerous situation for my niece. I told my sister that, and she told me that she trusts the dog and thinks she's well-mannered. She said that the dog and her daughter get along well, the dog doesn't mind if the child pokes her, and that the dog lets the child sleep in her dog bed sometimes! Is this one of those situations where I can't tell her what to do, so I should leave it alone? Or should I call child protective services?
Dear Uneasy,
No wonder the dog is nervous. Suddenly a small human is sticking fingers in her eyes and sleeping in her bed. You're probably sweet and well-mannered yourself, but surely you would lash out at someone who invaded your home and poked your orifices all day. That a pit bull is involved adds to the potential damage if the dog strikes back, but even a placid basset hound could be provoked to take a hunk out of a toddler's face under these circumstances. When a dog uncharacteristically attacks a child, often the aggressor was the child who simply didn't understand that you can't pull on a real dog's tail the way you can your favorite stuffed animal.
Your sister is a 20-year-old single mother; that alone indicates she still lacks the ability to understand how acting on her impulses can lead to life-changing events. [Yay!] You must intervene, but try to exhaust all your possibilities before you consider calling the authorities. Tell your sister that her daughter's safety is at issue here and that even the best-behaved dog can lash out at a toddler. Show your sister and her roommate this article about mixing kids and pets, the point of it being that both girl and dog need to be chaperoned as carefully as if this were a Victorian courtship. Your sister and her roommate must understand that unless their darlings are under direct supervision, they must be physically separated. Add, for the roommate's benefit, that if her dog bit your niece, no matter what the circumstances, it could end up being destroyed. If things don't change immediately, offer to help your sister find another living situation. Explain to your sister you won't let up, because you couldn't live with yourself if you didn't do everything to prevent a possible tragedy.