Now here's a head-exploder..."How To Unspoil Your Child"

If your kid's already spoiled, it a bit fucking LATE to be trying to undo the damage. As I read this, I heard my own parents' words from my kidhood in my head, and they were NOTHING like this pansy-assed shit that passes for parenting these days. The one that especially gets me is where it says how to deal with a kid who says "but all the other kids have one!" I could INSTANTLY hear my dad's voice from all those years ago, saying "Don't EVER give me that as a reason for wanting something, because that'll pretty much guarantee you WON'T get it."

As I read this, I also thanked the gawds above/below, for the millionth time, for the fact that I don't have brats!!

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/family-parenting/articlerb.aspx?cp-documentid=12137688>1=32020

My very first thought before I read the article was, "PREVENTION is the best medicine". Then after having read the article I am convinced that my first instinct was correct. I can't get over how this woman admits (and then solicits others to agree and presumably they do) that she lets her brat eat "candy and bread" for dinner so she can enjoy her steamed veggies and fish in peace. WHAT WHAT WHAT????? Then she goes on to beg for understanding and empathy of having bought the stuffed pony for her kyd so they could avoid an embarrassing tantrum at Walmart, etc....She clearly outlines her own problem in the first paragraph. The business of trying to explain "why" to a 3 y/o, or negotiate with kyds with the over and misused "reward" system, which is rarely done correctly like the old, "No dinner no dessert", or the ever popular "Eat your asparagas and then you can have a cookie", bullshit. Nothing sets a kyd up for poor eating habits like the old veggie-candy reward system. Not much else instills a sense of entitlement like immediate gratification with a toy for the implied threat of embarrassing moomie looming in the background.

I am a firm believer in PUNISHMENT for bad behavior and the punishment should fit the crime and be carried out in a timely manner (speedy bench trail and swift execution of sentence), neutral emotions but positive re-enforcement for EXPECTED every day good behavior, neutral behavior but negative comments for unacceptable behavior followed by positive explanations (based on age) of how behavior will be altered to become acceptable and correct (as with manners) and REWARDS for extraordinary behavior/deeds and actions, and they should be in line with the level of the good behavior/action. For example, a new car for volunteering to join a community local group who cleans paupers' cemetaries might be a bit much, but a sleep over with cake and icecream, or a new and much wanted DVD, might be a nice "reward, for example. A new inground pool might be a bit much for extra yard work, but an afternoon pass at the local public pool with a friend would be fitting, I think. Most of the time though kyds should JUST DO THE RIGHT THING, just because, not in an effort to solicit a reward. Many wealthy philanthropists today are STILL trying to get their "reward" via public accolades for giving to those in need, where if they had been brought up unspoiled, they could easily arrange to give anonymously.

Under NO circumstances would I reward potential bad behavior, such as the tantrum at Walmart, with a new toy, EVER. The brat would be warned of the consequences of his actions in advance and then the punishment would be carried out, right away. One problem that breeders seem to have and NEVER learn from is that they expect kyds to exhibit appropriate behavior under conditions which they are simply TOO YOUNG or immature to be reasonably expected to comply, such as expecting a 3 y/o to shop all day long in crowded stores until he is hot, tired, hungry, bored, wearing a shitty diaper or a combination of all of that. He is simply too damned young and shouldn't be put in the situation from the start. This goes for expecting 18 month olds to not wail out in quiet places like movie theatres, weddings, funerals, etc.....or expecting a 3 y/o to use impeccable table manners and sit quietly at a 5 star restaurant and listen intently as the adults wine and dine, they are JUST too young. When kyds are too young to be responsible for their misbehavior, it is ALWAYS the parents' faults and I wish that society could devise a punishment specifically for them. Instead, what happens is that other guests get pissed off AT THE PARENT (S), and the parents turn the whole fucking thing around and surmise that, 1)We were ALL chyyllldren once and should therefore be more tolerant, 2)The complainers must NOT have kyds, and/or 3)We must ALL hate kyds. This would explain why they are so delighted to find out that a mere 1% of the people who do the complaining about their shitty parenting results are CF. Common sense and basic math should tell them that the majority of people who lodge complaints about their brats' shitty public behavior and outbursts are PNB's, rather than the CF.

Bad parents do NOT have a clue and will grasp for any answers to the probes regarding their shitty and spoiled kyds that will take the spotlight, and therefore the blame, off of those to whom it squarely belongs :THE PARENTS.

I am speechless! I can't believe you would have to teach someone not to spoil their brats.

Only two generations ago, NO meant NO and you were punished if you acted like a jackass in public. Mom and dad would see to it that my older brother and I behaved, and we would be punished if we did not. It seemed very clear that you behaved or paid the consequences.

Fast forward to the last twenty years of overly permissive brat raising and now no one knows how to say NO to their brats. Hell, I can do that. No followed by a swat to the ass or other punishment if obedience is not immediately forthcoming.

Breeders are not only lazy liars, but stupid too.

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I'd say the ol' "Bed. Made. Lie. Eat it suckers!", but unfortunately when breeders refuse to do the job of parenting, the results affect us all. It's like the folks who complain about how "haaaaaaard" parenting is, and when you find out the details of cosleeping, not weaning, not potty training, never saying no, you find that they've willingly made their jobs harder simply because they want to be "best friends" with their "little buddy" with no thought of the spoiled, entitled, worthless adult they will one day inflict on the rest of us.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Parents need to get the fuck off the computer and parent.

It's so sad that grown adults have to be taught this stuff.

A child asking why why why why why why and getting no every time... until a yes comes along... will NOT think "gee I'm so lucky that I got a yes after all those nos". They will think whatever is the four year olds version of "uh-huh. kiss my ass some more, bitch".

Parents shouldn't even engage in that game to start with. There should not be an 'eleventh no'. One no is adequate and two is the end of the entire conversation.

The last step in the article ought to say:
- Kill yourself. Yep, just kill yourself now. If you have read all those stupid 'clues' how to stop your own child from being such a spoiled animal, and you're still reading this article looking for an easier one, just kill yourself. You're no good to anyone, least of all your kid.

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

str8six Wrote:
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> Parents need to get the fuck off the computer and
> parent.

Short and sweet.

"You can't slit the throat of every cocksucker whose character it would improve."
-Al Swearingen

LOL Actually, this is a nice wake up call for young Shitford and Cuntleigh.

It teaches them the life lesson that the gravy train - even if you've been providing said gravy train for yourself in the form of a good paying job - could end as abruptly as possible.

It teaches them the old adage, "Here today, gone tomorrow." LOL