This is why I can't read Dear Abby anymore

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DEAR ABBY: I am a former Marine and, most importantly, I am the proud father of two beautiful, intelligent, respectful and wonderful girls. During both of my wife's pregnancies, the only thing I prayed for was a healthy child.

My brother has two boys, and I pity him because he has never been the guest of honor at a formal tea party or attended a daddy-daughter dance. He has never gone to the aid of a damsel in distress by removing a threatening spider from the room. He has never been asked to judge a beauty contest in his own home. He has never had a chance to sit outside a dressing room and watch while all the girls in his life try on clothes and shoes.

A father loves all his children equally and independently. No two are the same -- not even twins. We all say hurtful things that we do not mean when we're fighting. But I guarantee "Hurt in Sacramento" that she and her sister will outgrow the fighting and become best friends. -- PROUD POPPA IN JACKSONVILLE, N.C.

OH puh-YOOOOK me a fucking RIVER. This guy's probably got balls the size of marbles.

I have noticed that the parent who talk the loudest about how wunnerful and byootifull and incredible their kyds are often are the ones who resent having their kids in the first place. It's as if they think if they lie to themselves enough about how happy they are,they'll begin to believe it and learn to deal with the choices they made.

Also, don't many guys want boys? Would the author of this letter have loved his kids any less if they were boys? Why is he so obsessed with his daughters? Why would the author pity his brother for having boys - is he implying his nephews are sub-human for not having vaginas, or that his brother shouldn't love his sons?

I wonder if Duhddy is actually mad that HE didn't have sons, so he's trying to say how awful it is that his brother was not "blessed" with boys. Sounds like Author-Duh wanted the golden boy sprog and is projecting his resentment onto his sibling. I think it's bullshit the "only" thing he prayed for wa a healthy kid - odds are, he was banking on a son.

OMG Puketastic or what!!!

FFS, I was a daddy's girl myself but my dad wouldn't prattle on like this f*cktard! I didn't think guys could get placenta brain until now, I wish I hadn't eaten....

Why can't I shake the feeling that his baby mama wrote it and signed it from him?

indeed. If I wasn't already someone who no longer reads Dear Abby, this would do it.

I read his words, but it's what he DIDN'T say that made a bigger impression on me. He flowered up the image of having only girls all to hell and back, downplayed how important being a Marine was to him (I know, my father was a Marine)and then says he has "pity" for his brother who was lucky enough to not get one, but TWO golden boys when everyone knows that men prefer boy children, especially as firtborns. I know about this one too as I am the oldest of three failed attempts at a golden boy. This man is CLEARLY full of shit and is extremely envious of his brother. I feel reasonably certain that all of this spider catching and beauty contest judging will be looooonnnnnnggggg forgotten once his wife delivers up the golden boy. Those girls will become but a distant memory until it's time to pass them off to someone else in marriage. This would explain why so many fathers get all teary eyed at their daughters' weddings and say predictable shit like, "It seems just like yesterday, I was squashing spiders for you". That's because after the golden boy surfaced, that's probably the last thing they did for the kyd. If that isn't proof enough, then his comment about seemingly enjoying waiting on his wife and daughters to try on clothes and shoes was a fucking RED HERRING of repressed disappointment.

It's even worse that he is attempting (quite poorly) to come across as being happy as a clam, when we all know that he wants a boy.

HAHA! Yes! You guys have GOT it! The guy is so jealous of his brothers golden sprogs he can't even see straight...why the hell else would he be going on about ENJOYING watching his "girls" try on shoes?! I can't even stand that shit and I'm a woman. I think I'm one of the only chicks in the world who couldn't give a flying fuck about shoes and clothes...

As usual, you paint the true picture, kidlesskim...right down to the predictable father of the bride shit!

And I'm thinking that moomie might very well have had a hand at "helping" him with this puktastic letter.

I think he sounds like a perv. The way he has to insist on the "OUTSIDE a dressing room", I bet he's actually inside watching them change.

Plus those "daddy-daughter" dances are creepy. I bet he's into purity rings and/or balls, too.

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I bet he's into purity rings and/or balls, too.

Yuck! What the hell is that shit?!

Why did this bastard waste the ink?

Seacreature Wrote:
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> I bet he's into purity rings and/or balls, too.
>
> Yuck! What the hell is that shit?!

Behold! :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purity_ring

Scroll down and there's another link for the purity ball.

Hey WAIT!

*I* love shoes...comfortable shoes. I wish I had more than one pair of feet so I could wear more shoes at one time.

Thanks, Medusa. The rings are pretty much what I thought they'd be...the balls, not quite. My imagination got a little carried away and I pictured something quite gross, having to do with actual balls (complete with dripping inscriptions) shoved up a teen daughters cooch 'til she was married.

Awww, poofy...it's okay, I forgive you. Shoe addiction is almost part of a womans genes these days. I guess I didn't get those. But I have to admit I do have a weakness for converse and big, clunky shoes with waffle bottoms that you can step on anything with.

I'm not a SHOE ADDICT. I can quit ANY TIME I WANT, don'tcha know.

(With a few exceptions, such as my DM ankle-boots, my trail-runner sneakers, and my knee-high biker-boots, all my shoes are Birkenstocks).

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Purity balls are creepy - the belief that a man 'owns' his daughter's body and then "gives" her to a future husband is freaky and could only exist in fundamentalist culture. Personally, I think it's a lot of crap because really...how many teen girls stay virgins anymore? I'm sure most of these "virgins" have plenty of sex but just don't tell Daddy.

Being protective of your child is expected - but this goes beyond protection and begins to go into control and possession of the girl's body.

He probably "LURKS" outside the dressing rooms trying to catch a glimpse of an attractive woman who isn't cellulite ridden with stretch marks and saggy tits like his wife probably is.

Secondly, I'm sure he'll find out one day that these precious snowflakes aren't even his. Wifey was probably fucking around behind his back while he was away on duty. Maybe even with his brother.

Third, let's see now enamorate he is of them when he's paying extortion payments to his ex-wife for them after she leaves him for some guy with a lot of money or bigger dick and after she poisons them to never have anything to do with him again.

Bigger dick, heheheh...


I don't care what you've read, women really CAN tell the difference.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

poofy_puff Wrote:
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> Bigger dick, heheheh...
>
>
> I don't care what you've read, women really CAN
> tell the difference.


Whatever woman coined the phrase, "There's just more of me to love" instead of just admitting that she was fat is probably related to the man who made up, "It's not how much you've got, but how you use it", rather than admit he had a pencil dick. "Size doesn't matter" is a big fat lie and everybody knows it except the people who use it as an excuse to conceal their insecurities about their own physical inadequacies. Men who are comfortable with their teenie weanies never say that NOR do well endowed men. The only people who ever say that have pinky finger dicks and are sensitive about, and perhaps the women who love them.

Actually, I read that in "Our Bodies Our Selves" or some such wymynly publication.

But, if you talk to anyone who is gay or lesbian, or just kinky, they will always recommend the 8-inch dildo over the 6-inch dildo.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Cambion Wrote:
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> Being protective of your child is expected - but
> this goes beyond protection and begins to go into
> control and possession of the girl's body.

Exactly - it's all about controlling the wimmins.

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He probably "LURKS" outside the dressing rooms trying to catch a glimpse of an attractive woman who isn't cellulite ridden with stretch marks and saggy tits like his wife probably is.

Oh yeah, that too!

I find the whole purity ball thing pretty creepy because I'd like to know what kind of man is actively thinking about his daughter's sex life. I always was daddy's little girl, and I'm pretty sure my dad is content to imagine that I am just really, really good friends with my husband. I would be totally freaked out if he ever asked my about my sex life.

Seacreature Wrote:
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> I bet he's into purity rings and/or balls, too.
>
> Yuck! What the hell is that shit?!


I had never heard of any of that shit either until I clicked on Medusa's wiki link that she posted. I think that the rings are bad enough, but these debutante style public "virgin" dances/balls are an OUTRAGE. Without any deep thought the following negative things popped into my head regarding it/them.

1)They will be less likely to use birth control if they do "slip" and sin because it will imply premeditation. I suppose the parents would rather pray for their daughters' forgiveness for her impromptu moment of weakness AFTER they get knocked up at 16, rather than deal with the reality that she actually planned to have sex moments and perhaps even hours ahead. Ironically, either way they have still "sinned," but her parents are the least likely to find out about it if she had just used a damned 50 cent rubber.
2)What if she has already been "deflowered" at the time that these traditional "vows of chastity" are taken in public, but they are intimidated into living the lie? Won't that be emotionally damaging for them to live a lie? Isn't it FRAUD for a fellow church boy to think he is getting a virgin on his wedding night only to find out he has married Cavernous Cathy? Could her marriage be annulled for this? This sounds like public ridicule to me and an antiquated punishment which doesn't "fit the crime", but could be life altering and emotionally damaging.
3)It lets boys/men know she is a virgin and many perv men and/or horny younger guys will target her for a little GHP in her hot chocolate or a violent masked rape, for this and no other reason. I think it puts her unnecessarily in harm's way. I am surprised we haven't already had a rash of "virgin ring" rapes/murders where the perv collects the chastity rings as trophies.
4)If she "sins" and has consensual sex with a boy, does she "come out" in public, confess, and remove the ring in front of the congregation? Talk about a traumatic experience which MIGHT actually qualify for PTSD, considering the sensitve nature of the personal subject matter and her age. It's a suicide waiting to happen, IMO.
5)What about little closet whores who use the chastity rings to snag boys/young men, who have promising careers ahead of them and secretly have sex, and lots of it? They could obstensibly live the life of Virginal Veronica at church, their neighborhood, away at college, and other places over a several year time period and have the "oops" pick of the litter, IF she played her hand right. She could be sort of a serial virginal moomie wannabee, of sorts. If she targets a virginal fundie man-boy with a little famblee money, I think that we ALL know he would be easy pickins' to trap and capture and probably wouldn't know what hit him, or even know the difference.
6)The status of a girl/woman's sexuality, regardless of what it may be, is absolutely the business of no one but hers and who SHE makes it known to for her own reasons. I think it's a clear case of invasion of privacy, it condones male "ownership" of an intangible part of herself, and it's extremely sexist and demeaning.

I just think it's ironic how parents will stroke and support each other to their faces, but are more than willing to stab each other in the back, or have false pity parties. "Ohhh poor so-and-so only has girls", "I can't believe they only have one", "Oh my god, her children will eat ANYTHING.", "You mean he makes his son work to earn things? What a monster"

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Either that or they're trying to show us child-free people what we're missing. WTFE.

kidlesskim Wrote:
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it/them.
>
> 1)They will be less likely to use birth control if
> they do "slip" and sin because it will imply
> premeditation. I suppose the parents would rather
> pray for their daughters' forgiveness for her
> impromptu moment of weakness AFTER they get
> knocked up at 16, rather than deal with the
> reality that she actually planned to have sex
> moments and perhaps even hours ahead. Ironically,
> either way they have still "sinned," but her
> parents are the least likely to find out about it
> if she had just used a damned 50 cent rubber.

I read in the Florida Catholic newspaper years ago how a woman refused to get her mentally disabled daughter on birth control despite how the young woman had more than one pregnancy. The older woman felt it was more sinful for her daughter to be on some sort of contraception than to keep having child after child. No one ever took this woman to task at the paper. Instead, people wrote in applauding her. I was so over writing to the newspaper all of the time so I just kept my $.02 out of it.

The mother took care of all of these kids but I felt it was awful to force pregnancy onto this mentally retarded young woman who probably had no concept of what the consequences were except that she kept having babies & did not know why! If we have to pay for all of these kids, which I am sure the Catholic mother gets all of the grandchildren on welfare, I do feel we should have a say with someone like this young woman or any other serial breeder to get sterilized or be on contraception (like Norplant) that the religious mother cannot mess with once out of the state's sight.

I know I am a little off-topic but is has been a busy day and I am tired. This brought up that old newspaper letter I read years ago.

Am I the only one noticing that "purity balls" are only for daughters and fathers? Why doesn't anyone ask these god-lovers why mothers aren't requiring their sons to pledge their virginity publicly? I'd love to see them twist themselves into knots trying to come up with a reason.