Bye-bye Safe Haven

Well it didn't take that Little Shop of Pathos too long to shut down, did it? Nebraska has set an upper age limit of "30 days old" for brats whose parents abandon them at hospitals because they can't freakin take it any more.

Somehow- despite these supposed accounts of kids wailing and crying as their relatives turned heel and got the hell out- jeez I'm still on the side of the parents and relatives. I guess I just feel like people know when They Have Had Enough. And indeed they have had enough - there are no reports of any parents having a change of heart and trying to reclaim their leave-behinds. There is virtually NO legislation which protects adults (parents and non) against the appalling activities of children that I will be in favour of anything that puts power back into the hands of grownups for a change.

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

That's a fair part of the reason I have never wanted to parent. There is no real power in the hands of parents. Kids know they can get away with this shit. I would advise parents that don't want the brat to have it at home and then dump it in Nebraska. Dump em anyway--and when legal shit happens start making the case that you were sick to DEATH of being told what you could and could not do with YOUR kyd and that since you had no say, you were not putting up with the brat that resulted.

They could still put their kid up for adoption, though. I think that as long as the kid is a minor (up to age 17), he or she can be put in the system by the parents' choice. From what I can tell, the Safe Haven law allowed people to abandon their kids without all the red tape associated with the adoption process. I could be wrong, so please take this with a grain of salt - I can't find anything on what the law says about giving a teenager away.

Personally, I thought the initial lack of an age limit on the Safe Haven law was the best decision that could have been made. Just because a kid isn't a newborn doesn't mean it isn't unwanted, and IMHO, my hat goes off to the parents who were brave enough to abandon their unwanted brat-teens. It takes a lot to stand in the face of unending flack like that (which you KNOW they dealt with after leaving Junior off).

"There is virtually NO legislation which protects adults (parents and non) against the appalling activities of children that I will be in favour of anything that puts power back into the hands of grownups for a change."

I'm not as sympathetic as you are. Nine times out of ten, parents with out of control teens didn't do their jobs. They thought their toadlers were "cute," and didn't discipline them. If you can't control a three year old, you'll never control your teen.

We are seeing the natural results of parunts who want to be their kid's best friends, rather than do the job of raising a productive, self-sufficient human being.

Fear and intimidation go a long way. I'm not saying parunts should rule by fear an intimidation, but today's kids could use a little bit of it. Too many kids are not afraid of anything: authority, bosses, jail time, damaging property, failing in school, teachers, etc.

That is truth: not many people like out of control brats, but just let a parent actually do something about it and the goody two-shoes (usually grandmoos you think they'd know better) are all up in arms about 'don't abuse that poor chyld.
The case has been discussed elsewhere, but here on the guyland (L.I.) we have possibly a lawsuit involving just that: parental responsibility for the teens who murdered the guatamalan immigrant. He was a legal immigrant, last I heard.
Common sense tells you where a moo or duh is an incompetent jerk (the columbine murderers are one) and others have their hands tied. However, in cases where the kid is a vicious jerk, one or both parents refuse to kick the asshole out because one of the two has 'concerns that they'll be hooomeless... aside: a grandmother on judge judy kicked out her pregnant 17 year old grandwhore, baby and all. kudos to her).
To try and prove competence or in... it would take a lot of testimony from a lot of people... and ultimately it may prove impossible.

HEY: was it true that these teens that were kicked out in Nebraska, whined and boo-hooed about their fate???

HEY: was it true that these teens that were kicked out in Nebraska, whined and boo-hooed about their fate???

I distinctly remember reading in an American online article last week where someone interviewed was claiming there were some kind of shrieking, weeping "Don't leave me!" boo-hoo-hooing in the hallways of some hospital or other. I can't find it now, so perhaps it was re-edited out -- it might've been someone just imagining the scenario or even lying to try to make it sound uber-dramatic when it wasn't really.

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

xgbkxAmethyst Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well it didn't take that Little Shop of Pathos too
> long to shut down, did it? Nebraska has set an
> upper age limit of "30 days old" for brats whose
> parents abandon them at hospitals because they
> can't freakin take it any more.
>
> Somehow- despite these supposed accounts of kids
> wailing and crying as their relatives turned heel
> and got the hell out- jeez I'm still on the side
> of the parents and relatives. I guess I just feel
> like people know when They Have Had Enough. And
> indeed they have had enough - there are no reports
> of any parents having a change of heart and trying
> to reclaim their leave-behinds. There is virtually
> NO legislation which protects adults (parents and
> non) against the appalling activities of children
> that I will be in favour of anything that puts
> power back into the hands of grownups for a
> change.

I saw this and decided to not mention it- dead horse, etc. etc.
Guess What ? Shit parents are now reaping what they sow.

The battle is lost somewhere when the child is between 2 & 5, depending on a number of factors. If the parent cannot be a parent (not bestest friend YOU ARE A PARENT DAMN IT, ACT IT DAMN IT, AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU AFRAID OF A FRIGGIN TWO OR THREE YEAR OLD AND ITS TEMPER TANTRUMS? YOU TOO SCARED TO DRAG ITS LITTLE ARSE OUT OF A STORE? )
What the parent has to do (if they have any common sense whatsoever) is take a step back and think (they rarely do imo) 'would this behaviour, which seems cute now, be cute when they are 15?' .. and act accordingly.