E-mail from Breeder Ex-Best Friend

This is what I got yesterday: "Hope you're doing alright. You're welcome to attend Sproglina's 8th b-day party: (place and time). I'd love to see you again."

This is the ex-best friend I haven't even spoken to in 4 YEARS. Gee, you'd think that, if she really missed me, she'd arrange to meet me for coffee or drinks or whatever, ALONE - but noes! Way to put me on the spot in front of a bunch of people I don't even know!

And, what a coincidence: the kid's b-day, again? Methinks you just want a fucking present. The girl doesn't even know who I am.

Finally, the cherry on the sundae: she actually changed the spelling of the child's name! It used to be Megan, now it's Meaghan. WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Yep, sounds like someone is just gift-grabbing. As for the name change... WTF? It was fine before. Why change it? Now the name looks stupid. But then again... This is a breeder we're talking about. I know a former co-worker who called her newly baked loaf "Ambher". I have her on my Facebook, which was where she told me the name. I thought it was a typo at first, until I got it confirmed by a mutual friend. YEESH.

You know what's actually kind of funny? These days, conventional name spellings are actually more 'unique', because so many people are using these ridiculously altered spellings that they've become common.

I agree that you'd think she'd want a one-on-one meetup to reconnect BUT...... maybe she thinks having you at the brat's birthday party would be a good ice breaker first.... maybe she feels weird about not seeing you in so long. Either way, it's a gift-grab.

Regardless, I wouldn't go, I'd reply back and say you can't make it but you'd love to meet up for coffee.

This reminds me of a recent situation. I ran into the daughter of a family friend not too long ago. I have not seen her in about 3 years. I asked her how she was and what she was up to, and she only wanted to talk about taking care of her kids. I was interested in HER and her life, being that we always got along well and have known one another for a long time.

Sorry to hijack the thread. I'm with KFLL about what you should tell your friend.

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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>
> Regardless, I wouldn't go, I'd reply back and say
> you can't make it but you'd love to meet up for
> coffee.

I completely agree, but wouldn't be surprised if she declines the invite, stating that she's always "sooo busy." It's unfortunate when friendship gets tossed by the wayside once the kiddies come along, but ultimately, I think it's for the best that you know where you stand with that friend. Sadly, though, one can't help but feel like their friendship had value only for it's convenience, and equal amounts of frustration and sadness that someone else won't make the smallest effort to keep in touch occasionally. This has happened to me more than once and it is very hurtful.

I feel your pain, Medusa. This has happened to me on several occasions over the years, but by FAR the worst offender was by my uncle who sprogged late in life. "Uncle Willy" never attended any birthday party of mine that I recall neither before or after he was married. He never gave me a Christmas present, sent a birthday card, or even called me or wrote very much for that matter. I was a teen before he had any kyds and of course after that, everything was "different". He expected gifts for all of his brats because by the time he had the 3rd one I was nearly 20 years old. I basically drifted apart from him and his famblee (on purpose) and didn't hear much from him UNTIL a few years ago when his son sired the golden grandboybrat.

Although I lived 3 hours from them at that time, I received an invitation to the grandboybrat's first birthday party and judging by the card it was going to be complete with caterers, hired clowns and a Barney, and a fucking rented pony. Oddly enough, it actually had an RSVP, which I thought was RIDICULOUS. What, had he become a movie star and I had missed it???? I didn't respond at all and apparently that upset him based on what was reported back to me that he had said. I was nearly 40 years old, NEVER had gotten a card from him for birthday or Christmas, NOR had he ever bothered to send my step-kyd a birthday card and she was around and in our famblee since ages 2-10, at that time. Yet HE thought that I was supposed to make arrangements to drive 6 hours round trip to come to a SECOND cousin's first birthday party? I don't think so.

Apparently, my lack of interest in his grandsprog has basically caused him to completely break what contact and ties that he and I had at one time which was occasional letters and phone calls. This is a form of breeder mentality where THEY are invisible during our childhood or other events throughout our lives, which are special or important to us, yet the MINUTE they self replicate we are supposed to drop everything and make arrangements to be present and shower them with money and/or gifts. I think that this is the HEIGHT of selfishness and it has taken me some time to convince myself that, NO, this isn't ME being an ass like they are making me out to be, but rather it's a normal response of someone who refuses to be taken advantage of and play their silly games. I absolutely will NOT be guilted into doing it no matter HOW many times my mother says, "Two wrongs don't make a right".

Medusa, sounds like you've moved on. i'd decline and forget her.