My Sign for my front door

I am tired of having little brats ring my doorbell to solicit crap. I am tired of religious freaks trying to push their religion on me. And I am just tired of having solicitors ring my bell at all hours of the day.
I made a sign that reads,"NO SOLICITING!, NO RELIGIOUS LITERATURE,SALES FLIERS, OR OTHER USELESS STUFF I AM NOT INTERESTED IN. IF YOU RING MY DOOR BELL, I WILL TAKE YOUR INFORMATION AND HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER PLACED AGAINST YOU."
Not sure if I can place a restraining order against solicitors, but I am tired of them ringing my bell and upsetting my dogs.

We don't have kids too much, but we do have bible thumpers come about every two weeks it seems. I found a couple stickers and put them on the front door. One with a cross with a NO slash across it and the other with a couple of bible thumpers with a NO slash across it. The other day, we saw them coming down the street, but they didn't knock. Maybe it worked.
PS

annie35 Wrote:
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> I am tired of having little brats ring my doorbell
> to solicit crap. I am tired of religious freaks
> trying to push their religion on me. And I am just
> tired of having solicitors ring my bell at all
> hours of the day.
> I made a sign that reads,"NO SOLICITING!, NO
> RELIGIOUS LITERATURE,SALES FLIERS, OR OTHER
> USELESS STUFF I AM NOT INTERESTED IN. IF YOU RING
> MY DOOR BELL, I WILL TAKE YOUR INFORMATION AND
> HAVE A RESTRAINING ORDER PLACED AGAINST YOU."
> Not sure if I can place a restraining order
> against solicitors, but I am tired of them ringing
> my bell and upsetting my dogs.

If you don't know if you can place a restraining order against them, THEY probably don't know if you can, either. I doubt anybody would ring the bell just to call your bluff.

We just flat out don't answer our door. And anybody at our front door can see right in - we've got door-length side light windows on each side of the door with no curtains (they would block the cat's view of the outside LOL).

They usually get the hint: we're walking around inside our house nonchalantly, ignoring the door bell, the dogs are going CRAZY at the front door and there they stand looking foolish. Most times, it doesn't take long for them to just go away.

If it's somebody we know from the neighborhood, we certainly answer the door, but anybody looking religious, suspicious, or carrying a clip board gets ignored.

Want to fix the problem?

Do what I do.

Answer the door with a very large gun tucked in your pants. Ideally, wearing no shirt.

Eric, with most of the posters here being female (not me), I think the "no shirt" idea will have the opposite effect LOL! The gun part might work, though.

Make a sign: "We shoot every third Jehovah's Witness solicitor. The second just left."

I put a "No Soliciting" sign on my door but the mofo's still ring the doorbell I'm seriously contemplating just taking the damn doorbell off.

Kaia

It's really hard to get a restraining order here in Murdertown- you have to prove the other person is an actual threat.

I can see who is at my door without being seen, so I just ignore them.

Meh. I once turned the garden hose on some very stubborn Mormon doorknockers. That did the trick pretty well!

A lot of solicitors, especially kids and Jehovah's Witness people, take "No Solicitors" signs with a grain of salt, or just choose to ignore them. They figure *their* cause is better than everyone else's and all they need to do is sweet-talk you a little and you'll have a full change of mind. Barking dogs, threats of bodily harm and screaming sometimes don't even deter them. Some may even go to the back door or look in the windows to make sure you aren't actually ignoring them.

If all else fails, you can answer the door, and the second they start launching their spiel, close the door in their faces.

whenever i see a couple of fresh-faced young guys walking around the neighborhood with backpacks and short-sleeved white shirts tucked into their pants, i get all giddy in anticipation. but they never knock on my door! i SO wish to open the door one day and start off with a kindly, "well, you two boys...[and then snarly] can just fuck right off!" a la the old woman in the movie 'orgazmo'...

Someone told me a LONG time ago that if you told any of the bible thumpers that you were Jewish, they would quickly and politely go away, never to come knocking again. I tried that with a batch of Seventh Day Adventists (I think, they looked Amish, but with a station wagon) once and it worked. I never had too many knock on my door except the Jehovah's Witness people and when I say I am not interested, they just hand me a Watchtower tract and move on. I remember the Mormons cornering my mother once, but that was because she was stupid enough to invite them in the living room and gave them some Koolaid because it was so hot outside. I didn't think that they would EVER leave. They skidaddled right along though when my father bolted in there with a highball in one hand and a cigarette in the other, never to be heard from again.

Ooh, I like Eric's solution. That sort of spells it out for the clueless. Hose is also good. But for us, the useful if not terribly decorative chain link fence is a godsend. Yet the strung-out tweakers hired to do fliering still stick pizza coupons on it...but better the fence than the doorbell.

K-Man, I love your sign idea! ROFL!!

I get a kick out of messin' with annoying strangers who show up uninvited on my doorstep. (It's especially irritating because we live in a rural area, on a fairly large piece of lane - close to 10 acres, with the house set off from the road, etc.)

Being a pretty big guy who can look menacing when not shaved/showered, I add to the effect by strapping my also-large .45 pistol on my hip when I spy a religious proselytizer, kid or any other SOB intent on disturbing our peace and quiet by invading my privacy and trespassing on our property.

I open the door and say something like, "What the hell do you want"?

Works pretty well, I've found!

Hey, my philosophy is that if they come on your (isolated, rural) property, they can't complain if their reception is not all rainbows.

I'm a very private person and I hate people mucking about on my property. Get a clue, people; I have Google. If I haven't already ordered it, it probably means I don't want it; get lost.

Little Miss Sunshine, I know.

Kaia Wrote:
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> I put a "No Soliciting" sign on my door but the
> mofo's still ring the doorbell I'm seriously
> contemplating just taking the damn doorbell off.
>
> Kaia

They probably don't know what the word Soliciting means...it's a big word you know. I'd try a sign that simply says "If you don't know me personally, fuck the hell off"

Then again, I keep a bottle of whiskey and a baseball bat by my door. I find answering the door stinking of drunk and holding the bat usually keeps them from returning.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

That's a good idea Feh. Though I'm kind of anti-social so I think "If I don't know you personnally, fuck the hell off. If I do know you personally, still fuck the hell off." would be more appropriate I'm gonna have to make a huge sign for all that mess to fit on there .

Kaia