NEVER PULL THE TINSEL OUT OF THE CAT's ASS!

We've been through this before, but it's that time of year again.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

OH MY GOD. LMAO. We don't use tinsel exactly for that reason.

Our black cat LOVES string, plastic grocery bag handles, floss, etc. We have to keep a tight eye on that stuff.

And yes, NEVER pull. Snip it off and let it come out on it's own. You could hurt your cat very badly.

Someone mentioned this topic in passing on another thread, and I thought a little PSA couldn't hurt.

Speaking of "another thread", don't pull thread out of the animal's ass either.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Thanks, poofy... Makes me glad I'm not really bothering with decorations this year. Why bother putting them up when ya just gotta take the damn things down? I might put some lights up in a spot or two that the cats can't reach...those you can leave up for a while after the holidays and they still look cool.

I even gave up on the few houseplants I had when I had the black babies in 2007. Even the adults chew and dig in them, so I have decided to just grow herbs in pots outside during the summer.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

We have plants but they're shut off in a room so our cats can't get at them. Our feral rescue LOVES to munch on them.

The only reason I DO have these particular plants is because they came in a basket arrangement someone sent me almost 9 years ago when my dad died.

My dog ate the stuffing out of his pillow. I called the vet in a panic. The vet told me to give him mineral oil and put him outside until the mineral oil was finished doing it's thing. It worked.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

Quote

My dog ate the stuffing out of his pillow. I called the vet in a panic. The vet told me to give him mineral oil and put him outside until the mineral oil was finished doing it's thing. It worked.

Was it still a little "fluffy"? You should have made a new pillow out of the fluffy poo and given it as a gift to an obnoxious moo.

Seacreature Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dog ate the stuffing out of his pillow. I
> called the vet in a panic. The vet told me to give
> him mineral oil and put him outside until the
> mineral oil was finished doing it's thing. It
> worked.
>
> Was it still a little "fluffy"? You should have
> made a new pillow out of the fluffy poo and given
> it as a gift to an obnoxious moo.


It was pretty fluffy. Good idea, I could have made their soul sucker a pillow from it.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

Does that mean we shouldn't pull it out of our own ass?

Bwa ha ha ha! Words to live by!


Hey, I have a good idea. Let's put an old thrift shop pillow or two in the dogloo. Yeah! Brilliant! Compassionate! Toasty comfy squooshy pillow!!!

(24 hours later)

PILLOW FLUFF SPREAD OVER FIVE SQUARE MILES TO BLIZZARDY SNOWDRIFT DEPTHS.

Sigh.

I've pulled easter grass out of an iguana's butt, and packaging string out of Dixie the Cat. Seriously gross.

Wow, I lead such a boring life.

UGH...Kim, I saw that documentary! It was so NASTY! MWR, they killed it wit' duh druggies an' he pooped the rest of it out...if I recall correctly. Them tape worms is loooooong. Ew! It makes me squeamy to think about!

Quote

I've pulled easter grass out of an iguana's butt, and packaging string out of Dixie the Cat. Seriously gross.

I'm picturing the green Easter grass coming out of a green iguana...that's kinda kool. HAHAHAHA! Yea...

After that he took the part of the worm that they snipped and went straight to a doctor. They gave him some sort of medication that supposedly killed it and I guess he just shat the rest out in pieces over time. The part that grossed me out the most, other than my own imagination, was that he and his wife actually did one of those "re-enactments" in the bathroom, his yelling, her getting the scissors, etc.....basically everything but showing his bum and the worm.

My fat boy Rolly loves to eat string, usually the loose strings hanging off blankets. It's interesting to see him walking around with a string hanging off his ass. He looks like one of those chatty Cathy dolls with the pullstring on the back.

My mom's dog once ate a $10 bill...for reasons unknown since she rarely eats anything unedible (she has a thing for Trident gum). Mom wasn't sure if the dog did eat the bill, but her suspicions were confirmed when the dog made a deposit in the backyard with a big "10" on the top.

Telling this one on my cousin's insane golden retriever that eats anything not nailed down. The dog managed to gnaw the metal clasp off his chain and then swallow the clasp whole. The vet was called and the dog got a laxative...the clasp came out and was cleaned off to reattach to the chain. That very night, the dog ate the clasp again. Dog got more laxative, clasp made its way through the bowels of the dog a second time, and it got promptly thrown away. Considering all the weird shit this dog has eaten, I am shocked it has not suffered a bowel obstruction yet.

You're not supposed to pull on anything coming out of the ass because it could tear the intestine. Better to cut it and wait, or take the animal to the vet.

I thought you folks already knew all this, because I think it's been mentioned a few times here since I joined. However, I thought it was a good thing to remind people who may be lurking or new to the board and/or new to cats, or new to tinsel. Whatever.

Now, this brings up the topic of anal sex, otherwise known as butt-fucking. I am not a big fan of this recreational activity, and no longer feel so insecure that I have to pretend in order to prove to the world how not-uptight I am. It's your ass, so do with it as you will; that's one of the things that makes this country still great, in most states at least. However, don't assume that because you are human that your ass is any less vulnerable to the same hazards a cat's ass would be in the same circumstances.

I don't think anyone should pull on tinsel in their ass unless you stuffed it up that way in the first place by yourself, or had someone else help you do so.

ANY questions?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

poofy_puff Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You're not supposed to pull on anything coming out
> of the ass because it could tear the intestine.
> Better to cut it and wait, or take the animal to
> the vet.
>
> I thought you folks already knew all this, because
> I think it's been mentioned a few times here since
> I joined. However, I thought it was a good thing
> to remind people who may be lurking or new to the
> board and/or new to cats, or new to tinsel.
> Whatever.
>
> Now, this brings up the topic of anal sex,
> otherwise known as butt-fucking. I am not a big
> fan of this recreational activity, and no longer
> feel so insecure that I have to pretend in order
> to prove to the world how not-uptight I am. It's
> your ass, so do with it as you will; that's one of
> the things that makes this country still great, in
> most states at least. However, don't assume that
> because you are human that your ass is any less
> vulnerable to the same hazards a cat's ass would
> be in the same circumstances.
>
> I don't think anyone should pull on tinsel in
> their ass unless you stuffed it up that way in the
> first place by yourself, or had someone else help
> you do so.
>
> ANY questions?


On the subject of butt fucking, I have always thought that it was funny how religious types refer to that again and again as a way to discredit homosexual men and their "filth", when in fact, MANY gay men don't like for the back doors in their houses to be used any more than the average woman simply because it hurts and then there is the "ick" factor. I think that butt fucking, while enjoyed by a vast variety of people I am certain, is more of a heterosexual male fetish, but of course he wants to be the "visitor" coming in via the back door, rather than the door itself. It's none of my business what anyone does behind closed doors, but personally, I do not want any object going IN the back door as I consider it an exit only. If I EVER have anything come out my ass that is not biologically supposed to be there whether it be tinsel, tape worms, gerbils, etc.....I WILL head straight to the nearest emergency room.

Boy did I open a can of worms....


Sometimes I just post things because it seems the next 'logical' step as in the case of commenting on our own derrierres. (or however it is spelled.)

This is sometimes what happens when a thread drifts off topic and I am guilty as charged in drifting.

It was an attempt at humor, perhaps lame in retrospect, not an actual practice on my part, or insinuating any such activities anywhere else.

Kidlesskim, your reference to a gerbil is duly noted... I presume that was the 'flaming gerbil' news report?

Oh, but I so love where it drifted...

I tend to agree with you poofy. It does seem to be a big hetero male fantasy. I dated "one of those" once. Same as you, I tried to be "open" and soon realized just how unpleasant it was, no matter how many times he said I'd "get used to it". Though, the strap-on did give me quite a sense of power... EW. I know...the ICK FACTOR.

Kim, I agree that anal fucking is primarily a straight-male thing. After all, any experience *I* have had with penises and anuses had to have been through straight-sex, due to the fact that I lack the former. That is not to say that lesbians do not enjoy butt-fucking, although I would suppose that two women would use objects that are more suited to the purpose, such as fingers and butt-plugs.

My husband's theory is that anal sex is, shall we say, more important to men with smaller penises who are in search of a tighter hole. I told him from the day we met (which was also the day we first had sex) to stay the fuck away from my asshole. Been there, done that, etc. He of course has no problem complying with that mandate, not being in search of a tighter hole, as the case happens to be

However, I have been with guys who have large penises and still tried to put things in my ass, so I don't know what's up with that. I think they just want to see if ladies will let them. I actually had one guy be like "OMG there's SHIT there!" and I was like, "What did you think you would find, GOLD?" Another guy seriously thought I was gonna suck him off after I tried it with him, and acted like it was some big interruption when I went to the bathroom right away.

Yes, I tried it, and never again. It's like, soooo messy and not worth the preparation and/or clean-up. Anal sex is totally over-rated and I recommend that everyone not waste their time with it. Sort of like Las Vegas (no offense Sprogless and anyone else who lives there).

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Quote

I actually had one guy be like "OMG there's SHIT there!" and I was like, "What did you think you would find, GOLD?"

NO WAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Yes, I am SO HAPPY to be married to a man who wants absolutely nothing to do with the butt. I told him early on as well. NO FUCKING WAY so don't even bother!

Seacreature Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Oh, but I so love where it drifted...
>
> I tend to agree with you poofy. It does seem to
> be a big hetero male fantasy. I dated "one of
> those" once. Same as you, I tried to be "open"
> and soon realized just how unpleasant it was, no
> matter how many times he said I'd "get used to
> it". Though, the strap-on did give me quite a
> sense of power... EW. I know...the ICK FACTOR.


I like where it drifted too and I doubt Poofy will mind, I mean look at the topic title, LOL. Two cents, I haven't seen the "Flaming Gerbil" thing, I was refferring to the popularity of "gerbling" back in the 80's and was remembering some of the gerbils who didn't do what they were supposed to do and ate away at rectums, got "stuck", and various other really nasty and cruel things (to the gerbil). What is the flaming gerbil about? Sea Creature, I had a boyfriend like that once too, I assume as it never made it to any strap on phase, but he liked to have fingers shoved up his ass during "regular" sex. I always thought that was a bit gross and he accused me of being young and inexperienced. Well, now I am old and "experienced" and I STILL think it's gross to stick my fingers up a man's ass and I do NOT consider it a sexual turn on, anything BUT.(no pun intended)

I do not want my fingers UP a man's ass, NOR do I want HIS fingers (or any other appendage) up MINE. If people with like minded Ass or fecal fetish' want to band together and host butt fucking and/or finger up ass shoving orgies ALL DAY LONG, more power to them. It's just that MY ass and MY fingers will respectfully decline to be involved.

Right. I think he had some misplaced notion about the "fairer" sex, like women never shit, or something. If you saw "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle", it's the "Battle-shit" scene.

I don't really think anyone LIKES it, I think they're all double-daring each other.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Oh, btw, I'm DEFINITELY trans-posting this to the Aimoo-reserve board, in case anyone was wondering about that.

I had a (female) friend once who was raving about butt-fucking one time, how it's all about not being ashamed about "that part" of the body, how "that part" is "not dirty", etc., and how maybe I'd like it if I tried it some other way than doggie-style. Well, FYI, I never TRIED anal sex Doggie-style (I have done REGULAR sex in that position), I tried it another way, and yes, we used tons of KY jelly, so don't "educate" me, I've read the manual.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu