Got Bingoed For Christmas!!

Ok, the checklist so far:

"You'll change your mind when you meet the right woman..."
"What will you leave behind??"
"You're being selfish!"
"You're being childish!!"
"Kids don't mean your life is over!"
"What happens if your wife wants kids?"
"You cannot play around forever!"
"Where's all the money you earned in the past decade? You should be rich--you have no kids!"
"Who will carry on the Xxxxxx genes? (Your cousins are adopted!)"

And the worst out of my Tennessee redneck 3rd Cousin: "You need to have kids--we need more white people"

Gotta go. I need to drink Tequila. Lots of it. (and I fucking hate tequila)

Wow, they pretty much covered all the bases, didn't they Marzi? Oh, and I love the topper for the shit cake at the end there, too - just when you think they can't get any more ridiculous, someone pipes up with the racially charged bingo. Nice. Your cousin needs a kick in his camo-shorts for that one.

There's a good one Marzipan

"You'll change your mind when you meet the right woman..."
Everybody said that. Right woman or wrong woman, you still be a wallet anywayand it will be the same buren anyway.

"What will you leave behind??"
I don't care what I leave behind. I rather give it to someone who is more worthy.

"You're being selfish!"
Nope, having kids for no reason is selfish, also willing to bring up a disabled or deformed is by being a martyr.

"You're being childish!!"
I say BULLSHIT. Having kids is childish and teens see them as bling, jewellery and fashion accessories instead of seeing as a human person that doesn't realised that it cost you a lifetime severely.

"Kids don't mean your life is over!"
Yes it does and worse - you forefit everything for a kid. Remember old bingo saying "I never trade a child for anything".

"What happens if your wife wants kids?"
I get a snip/vacetomy 'or hack-off my balls-off' so I won't pass my DNA or make a replica to another.
I use this 'hack my balls-off' phrase as I do not want to have my replica. Plain simple to those baby-rabid women.

You cannot play around forever!"
Yes I can. I like my fun. My PC and Xbox and learn new skills, traits and ability to progress my life rather than play around with a kid which tire me to death.

"Where's all the money you earned in the past decade? You should be rich--you have no kids!"
I save up with my disposable income for rainy day instead of spending my hard-earn money on spoit-brat waste of specimen and wasted DNA.

Quote
Marzipan


Gotta go. I need to drink Tequila. Lots of it. (and I fucking hate tequila)

Don't do that to yourself. Maybe you should try Irish Whiskey instead.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

"...... get a snip/vacetomy 'or hack-off my balls-off' so I won't pass my DNA or make a replica to another...."



LOL, Gigabyte!!! I hope it doesn't come to that for you though. I have said the same type things regarding abortion, should I somehow freakishly get knocked up and abortion had been outlawed. I would try some less gruesome methods first like washing a handful of caffeine pills down with some vodka, lifting heavy objects, and/or anything else non invasive I could think of like taking a week's worth of birth control pills. If that didn't work though, I have said in the past that I would just do it the old fashioned way, with a coat hanger. I don't guess that's any different than the hacking off of one's balls.




"You cannot play around forever!"




This particular bingo has many variations, ALL of which I detest. Somehow, many childed people (meaning the majority of society) seem to think that the childfree (and even childLESS) are somehow at a "standstill" of sorts in their lives and won't be settled, serious, responsible, etc......UNTIL they have children. and apparently they have to be "your own" too, in order to qualify. I didn't really pay this one much attention until I was approaching 40 and got a few of the variations on this bingo such as, "One of these days, you will want to "settle down". (as in start a famblee of my own) I found this ESPECIALLY annnoying and downright strange, considering that at the time when this was said the most often to me, the following are true statements regarding my life.



1) A school age step child was living FULL TIME in my home (and had been for several years) and since I didn't think that she should have to suffer for being born to shitty parents and then getting stuck with a childfree "mom" on top of it , I was doing everything I could to make her life as stable and "normal" as possible, while she was under my care. ALL of these people who used that bingo at the time knew that I was a fucking PTA officer, did the room mother gigs, did "career day", EVERYTHING (and above and beyond, from what I saw of REAL moomies) that anybody else with a "real child" would do to make that child's life as "normal" as possible . THAT wasn't good enough to thwart that bingo though, SIMPLY because I hadn't popped out, " one of my own". This pissed me off immensely and from the looks of it, it still does.

2)I owned my own home and it was very nice, in an trendy, stable, and good/excellent market area (although it wasn't a mcmansion, as I wouldn't have one of those cheap pieces of shit) and HAD owned it about ten years.

3)I owned my own business for several years and it was rather successful as well as a respected profession within the community.

4)At the time I had been married for several years

5)I participated in numerous community activities and volunteered at various places, "everyone knew me" and I was considered dependable.

.


So, HOW, and in WHAT way, was my lifestyle not "settled", responsible, "normal", etc.........I wish someone would tell me because my opinion at the time was that if my life got ANY MORE "settled", then I would have been dead. I have never been big into partying, going "out on the town", etc......so I have NO IDEA where people got the idea to say , "One day, you will want to settle down, stop playing around, get serious about your life, ....." etc....... The ONLY variable here folks is, I HADN'T GIVEN BIRTH. There is NO other explanation for my having repeatedly gotten this bingo during this time period.. My own sister, the childLESS one, said to me one day back then. "Our youngest sister turned out the most "normal" (aka successful) of the three of us. She has the husband and the kids, owns her own home, and now she has started her own business". JESUS CHRIST that pissed me off and that came from my OWN sister. Never mind that she could but didn't want to buy a home at that time, never mind that she is the FAMOUS "Aunt Kelly" who makes it a point to be involved in every aspect of those kid's lives, never mind that she had done very well with her career of 20+ years and had just passed the stock broker's exam, never MIND all of that. NEVER fucking MIND that everything she mentioned was so "normal" and to be envied about our younger sister, I had done the exact same thing five years prior. *****BUT******* I had not given birth, so therefore nothing else mattered or "counted". If you haven't laid down and given birth, then NOTHING ELSE matters, evidently

My own famblee has since learned to STFU regarding all of that nonsense, but this new famblee I married into 2 years ago is still "in training". I have a similar lifestyle now, sans the other people's kyd, and they STILL discount the fact that my husband and I are "settled". They seem to think, via their comments, that we don't have laundry, groceries to buy or go get, doctor's appointments to keep, a mortgage to meet, responsibilities or prior committements, "other plans", property to maintain or clean, and we are NEVER consulted if these frequent famblee get togethers are convenient for US. The ONLY thing which matters and sets the dates and times for anything, is if his childed sister can come and if it's convenient for her. If SHE is late, excuses are made; "She has to get TJ up and dressed and he's been sick", "she had to take the laundry out and fold it, stick a casserole in the oven, had to work late, had to get the boys to this or that, etc...........If WE are 3 or 4 four minutes late and on our way, our cell phones light up. "Where are you? Dinner is on the table, STACY and the boys are already here." It ROYALLY pisses me off, but like I mentioned, they are still "in training". I am slowly making my feelings known, but I am not sure how successful I have been (or will be) because they are just that one track minded and set in their ways, much like my childLESS sister, who btw is WAY WORSE at being shitty than the childed sister is and the MeeMaws and PeePaws (on both sides) are the worst of all.

I have resigned myself to the fact that this attitude will NEVER change among members of the childed society in which we live, unless of course we have a baybee. I guess if I succumb at the age of 46 and have a baybee, then my life will finally have meaning, be settled, and I will FINALLY be responsible, rather than the globe trotting, bar hopping, casino whoring, race car driving, bungie jumping, jet setting lifestyle I have lived up until present day.

"You'll change your mind when you meet the right woman..."
When I met the right man, he was right in part because he was adamantly CF.

"What will you leave behind??"
Debt, stress, tedious pursuits, noise, posting bail.

"You're being selfish!"
You could say it is selfless to quietly live out one's life and not burden the Earth with additional humans out of an exaggerated view of the worth of one's mediocre DNA.

."You're being childish!!"
Hm. Spending the evening reading a book of very interesting commentaries on the engravings of English artist Hogarth, while DH also reads a book, (last night) doesn't strike me as particularly childish.

"Kids don't mean your life is over!"
They pretty much do. Else why frame it in those defensive terms?

"You cannot play around forever!"
Why not? It's fun! Life is short; enjoy it!

"Where's all the money you earned in the past decade? You should be rich--you have no kids!"
I really think our family finances are no one's business but our own. Talk about crass.

"Who will carry on the Xxxxxx genes? (Your cousins are adopted!)"
95% of people are stultifyingly ordinary and average, and genes are a crapshoot anyway. Try again.

Rats, the bingoers lose. But they keep yammering on, don't they? If only they'd have had the foresight and self-control of the CF. Pity.

Ugh, Marzi (and the others who have been bingoed by others, especially family members). Makes me more and more grateful that I have rarely been bingoed to any significant degree (or maybe never, not really sure). That being said, I am glad to have learned here many good retorts to them I can keep in my arsenal in case I need them. [Thanks, folks!] Furthermore, I can issue my own CF "anti-bingoes" whenever I am asked how I can retire at 45 by answering, "No kids, no debts!"

Wow, Marzipan... Were you able to keep a straight face during all of that? And asking where all your money is! How completely boorish! Yuck! I hope the drinks helped. It sure helped me, 'cause I got my share of bingos at MILs house as well.

I especially got them from MILs ex-husband. Yes, for some reason her ex had to join us... I guess it's because MIL is the helpful, forgiving type, never wants to leave anyone out. The funny thing is, ex has a famblee of his own. I guess they can't stand him either. Anyway, hubby and I were expecting to get it from him at the dinner table and we sure did. The barrage of bullshit bingos included:

"So when are you gonna make some little crumb snatchers for us?"

"You're not an adult until you have children"

"You'll understand, once you have kids. They totally change your life."

That last one he kept saying over and over. I answered with, "Some things are best left misunderstood", but it just went right over his stupid head.

After dinner when we were opening gifts, hubby's grandfather showed us a hat he'd gotten that said, "Grandchildren, if we knew they were so fun, we would have had them ourselves!" And then he added a "hint, hint"... He was a sweet 'ol man though, so I just smiled and said how cute it was.

It was a nice Christmas though, better than my other family party on the 20th, which was full of preggo moos and new loaves. But hey, I got to see my one and only child free female cousin there at least. I hadn't seen her in years because she and her hubby don't usually come to the big family parties. They're smart.