Some advice from men to a soon to be dad

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Kaye
I think a lot of the men who really want kids are the religious types. They can't be out done by the other DUH's at church, of course, so they have to spawn so they can show of their precious little tard. Plus, there's all that brats are a gift from god crap, so they feel entitled to their gift (even though they want nothing to do with it beyond conception). I see a lot of this thinking here in the South, and especially in the Bible Belt. I have yet to find a guy I'd want to date because they all want me to spawn their shitty hellion. :scr

Kaye

Mmmm...I come from a group of people who don not actively practice religion in the whole "literally follow the bible literally" kind of way, if at all. From what I've seen of the Duh wannabe's around here, it's more "Must be Alpha Male" than anything else. Religion is just another tool to use to convince a woman, and if you're a guy who wants a submissive woman to bend to your will, what better way to access a wide variety of them than to hang out around churches? If a churchy woman isn't married by the time she's 24, or has been divorced, it seems to me that they're generally pretty crazed to get that ring, white dress, and wedding so they're right with the rest of the sheep - I mean -congregation.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Feh,

Maybe it's just where I live then, there are tons fundie types around here. I agree with the alpha male thing and trying to trap a woman, it seems every man wants his woman barefoot and pregnant. God forbid a woman should be anything other than his baby factory.

Kaye

Man, those stories make me shudder. And count my blessings. Phew.

The degree to which the stories suggest that people have kids only/primarily to show off to others is chilling...have they no ability to make choices outside of what they think the "herd" expects? Man, life is too short.

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clematis
The degree to which the stories suggest that people have kids only/primarily to show off to others is chilling...have they no ability to make choices outside of what they think the "herd" expects? Man, life is too short.

No, no they do not. They are completely and utterly incapable of thinking for themselves. Even if they know "gentle discipline", or "complete and total unsupervised access to the internet" is ruining their lives and the lives of their children, they will continue to do it because "its how kids are raised now". Even if they really, truly don't want anything to do with the creation of a child, they still will do it because "that's what people do". And even if they couldn't possibly afford to have more than one, they will because "no one has just one". It's sick making.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

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Kaye
I think a lot of the men who really want kids are the religious types.

Definitely. But also, a lot of the men who really want kids can also have Dad-attachment issues. Always pleasing Dad. Always doing things to impress Dad. It's like they're permanently seven years old. And Dad might not be religious, but he's a misogynistic fuckwit who treats his wife like nothing more than a waitress, maid, cleaner, and uterus-on-legs.

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

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Feh
Even if they really, truly don't want anything to do with the creation of a child, they still will do it because "that's what people do". And even if they couldn't possibly afford to have more than one, they will because "no one has just one". It's sick making.

I hear breeders use this line of "reasoning" (I use that term loosely) often when putting the pressure on a set of parents who have decided that they only want one child. It always cracks me up that they are using the same lines to describe having children that Pringles uses to sell potato chips.

"Once you pop, you can't stop!"

_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

Yes, and they ALL want ..."a boy AND a girl", at least the ones who are trying to limit their famblees. I believe that this is why we see a HUGE number of famblees who started out saying"We only want to have two and as LONG as it's healthy, we don't care if it's a boy or a girl", with sets of three boys only, or four girls only. Of course it's common to see famblees with three girls because ALL breeder males want a son as it's MANDATORY and if they don't get one, then they won't stop until the wife slams that womb shut some how or the other. I grew up around three other famblees besides mine where they had three girls each and it's only because they all had "tried" that one last time for the golden boy. They claim that they don't care about the sex, "as long as it's healthy", but that of course is bullshit.

I would venture to say that among the famblees who limit size and who generally desire two but will make 3 their max in order to get a mixed set,, unlike these quiverfull freaks, that there is a heirarchy of child genders and age range spacing as well. I would guess, based on personal observation, that the following gender combinations and birth orders are the most desirable:



Trump order

1)Boy,girl.

2)Girl,boy

3)Twins- boy-girl

4)Twins- girl-boy

5)Twins-boy-boy, then single girl

6)Twins-girl-girl, then single boy

7)Boy,Boy,girl (all singles)

8)Girl,Girl,boy(all singes)

9)boy boy boy(all singles)

10)girl girl girl(all singles)



I would say that the most desirable age spacing would be 2-4 years, with as little as a year or as much as 5-6 years being acceptable, but still trumped by the 2-4 year cliche'. Too wide of an age gap is the least desirable and the most suspect of being a "surprise" baybee. However, with so many remarriages and having one of "their own", as well as IVF for menopausal women, this vast age difference among siblings is becoming less of a trump issue than it once was. Rarely do we hear anymore, "She was a change of life baybee". My youngest sister and I are 8 years apart and people were always asking if she was an "accident", until of course they realized that she had been a third girl. Then their question answered itself because EVERYONE understands about "trying for a boy" because that's just the way it has always been, since Moby Dick was a minnow.

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Amethyst

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Kaye
I think a lot of the men who really want kids are the religious types.

Definitely. But also, a lot of the men who really want kids can also have Dad-attachment issues. Always pleasing Dad. Always doing things to impress Dad. It's like they're permanently seven years old. And Dad might not be religious, but he's a misogynistic fuckwit who treats his wife like nothing more than a waitress, maid, cleaner, and uterus-on-legs.

And this is what I hear on Dr L a lot... women who marry men who are waaaay too attached to mom/dad or both. It is a power struggle, it is almost inevitable that they are on the losing end of the struggle; all it does is give them more whining 'rights'.

Red flag little girls out there in lala land (those who wanna sprogg so badly) do not pick mammas/daddys boys. (and I do mean boys rather then men because this type are NOT real mean.) Yes, it is good if they treat their parents with respect. Bad if they will dump you to run and do their own parents bidding. It is amazing how many little girls out there seem to like to take up with spineless wimps like that.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.