Time to be an adult

So on Saturday night we had some friends over for a little get together.

Well my husband's BF, who comes over all the time, he is 38 , single, and no kids. I know he is brabid with wanting to breed and get married, but no luck because he is a bit of a loser when it comes to life . He hates to work and doesn't have a clue to being responsible with money and saving for the future. He and his GF broke up about 8 months ago, he got to keep the house( that she bought) and she took the furniture. Well 8 months later he still has a totally empty house, but he does have a new plasma TV, PS3, and new ink on his arm.
Well while we are discussing some other friends who after they had kids, cut us out of their life completely, my husband's friend pops off about how they are just being adults and taking responsibilty and moving on and up with their life. That they are being real people.
I did not say anything because I am the host and I do not make scenes while entertaining.
After all the others left, I asked him what he meant by being responsible and moving on and up with life. He said, that he thinks my husband and I are irresponsible and childish for not having kids, that we have more money that most families and we can afford to have kids, yet we refuse to grow up. I laid into the asshole about how responsible I am versus him. See he lived with us for 2 years rent free , and still mooches every chance he gets. I pointed out just how responsible I am and how much of a loser he is. He got mad, mostly because I am right and he is wrong. My husband took my side and pointed out to his friend that we are not the ones who are constantly broke, depressed, and negative that maybe he needs to take a step back and realize that kids don't make you a better person or more responsible.
Needless to say friend is not coming back to my house anytime soon. I will not be insulted in my own home, because someone in pissed off about how crappy their life is. I did not screw up his life, he did with his poor choices.

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Fuck that noise. Glad to hear you gave him shit.

And hey, if you and hubby are immature, then me and my hubby are right there with 'ya. LOL

How revealing (and laughable)...that someone with a literally and symbolically empty house has the nerve to lecture a successful professional with a successful relationship on how to conduct her private affairs. I'm glad you told him off.

Annie, you had more self-control than I would have had, host or not. That guy was way out of line and deserved to be dressed down in front of a group of people, because that's where he chose to share his enlightened comments about your life choices.

Annie...............yet another one of your great "Tales from the Weird" which is your family and (former) friends. Where do you FIND these people, or how do THEY find YOU?

Great reply and you showed considerable restraint not to tell him off in front of all the others.

Oh, may I make one small suggestion to your signature line?

O ne B ig C ompany S tock D istribution N o K ids E arly R etirement (I know it ain't an acronym but what the hell?)

Oh I wanted to say something, but deep down inside he knew, that every person in that room thinks he is a loser and irresponsible.
He can never join us as a group to do anything, because he is always broke or can't afford the gas money.
I think he is jealous and it is starting to show. My husband and I are basically the only friends he has, and he stepped on my last nerve with the irrepsonsible comment.
Lately he has been making comments about our lifestyle. I think it is jealousy. He can't have a family and he can't have a successful Cf life, so he is pissed at the world.

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deegee
Annie...............yet another one of your great "Tales from the Weird" which is your family and (former) friends. Where do you FIND these people, or how do THEY find YOU?

Great reply and you showed considerable restraint not to tell him off in front of all the others.

Oh, may I make one small suggestion to your signature line?

O ne B ig C ompany S tock D istribution N o K ids E arly R etirement (I know it ain't an acronym but what the hell?)

This is a friend that came with my husband. He went to H.S. with my husband. I would have never chose him as a friend, I inherited him.
The thing is, he was tolerable until the last few weeks, now he is baby rabid , I think it is a mid-life crisis.

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High five!! You rocked that slap down!

:yr

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

I have never been told straight to my face (that I can remember) that I was not responsible or not an adult (or acting like one) because I had no children, although it's been said in subtle and indirect ways by HUNDREDS of people over the years, including otherwise close friends and my very own famblee, even from a childLESS sister. It ALWAYS pisses me off and even though sometimes I think that they say this shit without thinking, since most of it is parrotted rhetoric, I believe that sometimes they say it ON PURPOSE and for my benefit and it always pisses me off royally. Depending on the circumstances, I will say nothing or I will say a precious plenty.My father said one day about one of the guys in our office whose wife had just sprogged, "THIS is what it's all about, having a famblee. Nothing will make you grow up and become responsible like having children". I chimed in "So, Dad, are you trying to say that I am NOT grown up or responsible because I have never given birth?" He wriggled out of that one somehow. I went on to remind him that this guy was cheating on his wife and had been since they married, that he was lazy and only did the bare minimum at work, that the wife had never held a job for more than a few months at the time, and that they were ALWAYS behind on everything from their rent to worrying about power company disconnect notices on their doors. His answer, "Oh, all of that will change now, I can PROMISE you that. Now that his babyee is here, he will straighten up and be a man".

The guy this post is about sounds like one of those people who believe that everything is cause and effect and that they have no personal responsibility in anything which affects their lives or a choice in how that life is lived successfully, or not. It's similar to people who are fixated on losing 50 lbs BEFORE they get married, buy a house, go on a vacation, buy any clothes, etc......as if losing that weight will somehow miraculously transform them into a character off of the Friends set or maybe they will live the life of a CSI show character with an exciting career, designer clothes, community wide respect, and the unwavering support of their employers and co-workers. He probably actually thinks that if he gets married and has some kyds, that he will become Ward Cleaver over night. He isn't willing to make the internal and external changes within and around himself to live that type of life or to attract the kind of woman that it would take to fulfill his fantasy. The moocow wannabees that he would need to live the "white picket fence" life would have NO INTEREST in a man such as himself.

He for sure isn't displaying the right actions to attract a breeder moo.
He thinks that getting married will make him happy and having a baby will make him happier. He has said numerous times that he wants a little carbon copy of himself, to play with. I told him to get a dog, for starters and see how that works out. He got a dog and gave it away to me 3 months later because he could not take care of it properly. I think he is searching for happiness and this is a route he has not taken, so why not try it to see if it works.

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brouuuuuuuuuhaaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa

Reminds me of a whack job that rented a house from my landlady. Sweet thing, but this dodo she let in as a renter was ..unbelievable. This was years and years ago, and I always wondered what became of this colossol ?spelling?... asshole.
He was phobic, had been raised by two fucktard alcoholics (they don't get that way in one generation) so he had a lot on his plate, granted. However, like most mentals (which is why I have grown to hate them so) he was a manipulator. I saw through his little schemes pretty quick and after short time I quit being nice to him. He could not hold a job, was on disability payments from the military (some shrink didn't do his job properly), and couldn't make up his mind whether he wanted to be a responsible adult or a little boy looking for a mommy.
His only reason for wanting to get married was to 'be taken care of'. He wasn't looking for a wife, he was looking for the mommy he never had. Any female who was mentally 'there' would dump him in a heartbeat. Last I heard he had barricaded him into the place he was staying and wouldn't let anyone in, even his own dad. What a waste of space.
Only reason I bring it up, the only female that would possibly spread and sprogg with something like that would be just as messed up, or even worse. I believe in the almighty gene.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I never get much of this, really. People are too busy being awestruck and judgmental about my cat-habit, when they first find out about my lifestyle.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

:Guy sounds like a total tool!

I would rather be "immature" and interesting as opposed to "grown up" and boring. :yeah

Wow, that guy sounds like a real jerk and you are much better off without a "friend" like him. My question is how the hell did he manage to get the house from his relationship?

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- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine

I have to say I was wondering about the house too. That's a huge asset, and they were not even married, and I don't get the impression that he was the primary mortgage-payer. Anyways.

I would rather be "immature" and interesting as opposed to "grown up" and boring.

Second that!

People need to STFU about your cat habit, poofy. As long as the cats are loved and well cared for, then what the fuck is it their business? By god, you just know in your heart if you were a welfare broodsow with as many kids as cats they would be falling down to worship the ground you walk on and give you the fuckin world on a silver platter.

goddamn i hate humanity.

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HAHAStupidMOOs
People need to STFU about your cat habit, poofy. As long as the cats are loved and well cared for, then what the fuck is it their business? By god, you just know in your heart if you were a welfare broodsow with as many kids as cats they would be falling down to worship the ground you walk on and give you the fuckin world on a silver platter.

goddamn i hate humanity.

I concur. I'm a single heterosexual man. If I had two kids[note: Ugh...what a nauseating thought], I'd be a stud, married or not. I have two cats, and some question my sexuality or masculinity.

I hate people at times.

Men who like animals and not kids are sexy as Hell.

And poofy, you are an unsung hero.

Ha! Ha! Ha! All the married with kids friends, dumped him on New Year's Eve. They wanted to have family time or spend the night with other people with kids. He calls and wants to know what we are doing, he got dumped by the others. We dumped him also, we had plans and they did not involve his sorry ass. He has also gave up drinking, red meat, and started working out and going to church. A mid-life crisis is what he is in.

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Is there a special dislike of cats in the US culture because of all these stupid ASSumptions about all unmaried cat owners I hear all the time? But there doesn't seem to be the same stigma and fear about dog owners.

Allison,
There's a stigma toward dog owners too. We have 9 dogs and I get dumbass comments about it all the time. My husband's siblings (all breeders) in particular like to comment. I quit inviting them over and my husband seems relieved. Life's too short to be surrounded by people who don't pay my bills but feel they have the right to turn my life into a carbon-copy (shudder) of theirs.

I personally like animals better than 99% of most people, bratfree board members, my DH and family, and my close friends excepted. I view anyone with a passel of animals in healthy and loving conditions as a sensible and caring person with enough empathy to bridge the species barrier. I most envy people running animal sanctuaries. We have 2 in our county, one for bunnies (they have HUNDREDS of bunnitos!) and one for abandoned/abused farm animals. I cannot imagine a better job than to work at/run an animal sanctuary. Even including mucking out stalls and cleaning litter pans--I'd rather clean 100 bunny cages than change one disgusting baby diaper.