Another friend goes down the drain

Yup. A good friend called me at work from out of the country to tell me she was preggers. I tried to be supportive, as she's a good friend and wanted that for so long, but I can't help but feel that I lost her for good. We'll now drift apart and I'll barely get an email once a year. I see it clearly. That's just great.

I lost several friends during my 30's as that was about when most of their clocks started ticking I guess and it seemed like they all drank from the same contaminated well during the same time period. . I attended and hosted SO many baybee showers in a five year time period (between about ages 32-37) because about the time one would squat one out, another would make a SECOND (or third) "happy news" announcement. During that time period is when my sister also sprogged, my husband's over 40 ex wife (though she claimed it was the product of a stranger rape, which only added to her already single martyr moodom), SEVERAL cousins, and my Catholic sister in law had three live kyds during that time, a stillbirth complete with full service funeral, and a couple of miscarriages. I used to be in daily contact with my younger sister, but since she had the first one in 1999, we rarely talk anymore. It's not worth it to try and carry on a conversation, because that is ALWAYS when the kyds seem to get needy and you can't hear or get a word in edgewise.

The near complete loss and estrangements of friendships only took about a year into the first births as they were just too busy being moomie, OR they outright became so incredibly selfish about doing EVERYTHING on their terms, that I suppose that I drifted away. They want their kyds' every "accomplishment" recognized which of course include all sorts of gifts throughout the year for birthdays, Christmas,etc.....which can get awfully expensive and time consuming when there are literally 8-10 new kyds on the horizon. It seemed like every time I turned around, it was SOMEONE'S birthday. They wanted to 'go out", but if they didn't drag the kyd along with them and fuss with it., they talked about it incessantly. The last straw with the girl who I broke ties with last was when she actually showed up at a friends' condo in Gulf Shores, WITH HER KYDS! (age 1 and 3) Needless to say, that completely ruined MY weekend and it didn't set well with the moomies who had found babysitters either. A weekend at the beach with toddlers around is NO vacation.

The main problem is that they become INCREDIBLY selfish, oblivious to anything or anyone else's life, they expect you to be there and do for them and their kyds, but you are lucky if they acknowledge that you have been in the hospital and BLESSED if they remember to send a condolence card when a famblee member dies. No thanks. It hurt at first, then I realized that in the long term I was probably better off without them and their spawn in my lives. One of the early sproggers who popped out one (and only one) in 1991 will be an empty nester this year. She has already hinted around at the WONDERFUL things that we can do together(like PRE baybee) after Shitford goes off to college, but after all of this time I am really just NOT interested. I am not full of myself or anything, but I think more highly of myself than just being a time filler for before, in between, and after their shitterlings are gone. Besides, in a few short years, I will just be replaced with GRANDbrats.

Like Gomer Pyle said on The Andy Griffith Show, "Fool me once, shame on YOU. Fool me twice, shame on ME."

I have lost all my thirty something friends to babies. But I have made a whole new group of friends in their later 40's and early 50's who are CF , I met them through a motorcycle club. I replaced the babie rabid friends with motorcycle rabid friends. Sometime when us women are out on our bikes, I will run into an ex breeder friend and I can see envy of my freedom in their eyes, especially when they go out of their way to tell me how great life is since they spewed forth life.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

when a mate of mine rang me up "TO TELL ME THE GOOD NEWS" once i replied "better you than me", then i got the ""well its not for everyone' but coming from a guy who didnt get a girlfriend till he was 34 then proposed to her 3 months later and had kids all within 18 months, yeah he knows alot about life....


and annie35 the whole motorbike thing does seem to bring out the envy in the breeders... what do you ride?

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kidlesskim
One of the early sproggers who popped out one (and only one) in 1991 will be an empty nester this year. She has already hinted around at the WONDERFUL things that we can do together(like PRE baybee) after Shitford goes off to college, but after all of this time I am really just NOT interested. I am not full of myself or anything, but I think more highly of myself than just being a time filler for before, in between, and after their shitterlings are gone.

This has also been said to me...and it makes me wonder if the person who said it even realized how insipid it sounded. Yeah, I've just been waiting here in a vacuum for twenty years for the day when we could just pick up where we left off with the friendship. It's been a few years now, I wonder if she's even noticed that I haven't gotten back to her on that one?