We don't charge for the unborn

I was reading one of my favorite customer rant sites Notalwaysright.com and came across this post:


(A very pregnant customer and her small child walk up to the theater box office.)

Customer: *points at marquee* “Are these all the movies you got playing?”

Me: “Yep, I’d say so….”

Customer: “Ok, I’ll have three for ****.”

Me: “Are there any children in the group?”

Customer: *points to boy and pregnant belly* “Yes, two.”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t charge for children age 2 and under…or unborn fetuses….”

Customer: “Ok…just one then!”


Yet another epic example of a moo that has shat out her brains along with her first sprog. I can't imagine anybody would actually be serious about somthing like that. I've justified that she was calling attention to her belly in hope of receiving compliments. That's the only reason for her dumbassity.

Silly. And believable. Well, she did call attention to herself.

They should've just said "Okay, here's three tickets".

Stupidity should cost more. Hell, it oughta hurt but the Universe isn't fair.

Quote
Konkurrent
They should've just said "Okay, here's three tickets".

I was just thinking this...HA!

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Quote
Konkurrent
They should've just said "Okay, here's three tickets".

Stupidity should cost more. Hell, it oughta hurt but the Universe isn't fair.

This is EXACTLY what I would have done as I have been in similar circumstances years ago with STUPID, common, silly, and all too familiar. attention seeking comments when I managed a restaurant. The ONLY reason that she did this was that she was seeking compliments, well wishes, and attention, which I would NOT have given her. I would have slid 3 FULL PRICED tickets across the window and said, "That's $18 please". When she got all bent out of shape and started explaining herself, which is a predictable and VERY typical reaction, then I would have said, rather matter of factly. "Oh, I am SO sorry that I didn't "get" your little joke! We literally have HUNDREDS of customers who come up to the window alone and purchase multiple tickets for a spouse parking the car, for a friend who is on his way, or even for groups of people who haven't arrived yet. When someone requests several tickets and the people are not all present, I have NO WAY of knowing when it's a joke or when it's a legitimate request, sorry. Oh btw, it will just be a few more minutes because I have to wait on the manager to come and void these tickets. sorry". Then I would lean back and speak out in a louder than usual voice to people who are lining up behind her, "Does anyone need three tickets? I am waiting on a void unless someone needs THREE tickets". I would make it clear through little snide comments (within her earshot) and by my body language that this holding up of the line was HER fault and why, if I can get away with it.



This shit is one of my MAJOR pet peeves and for some reason, people do it ALL of the time in retail establishments, ESPECIALLY restaurants. Two of the most commonly perpetrated attention seeking acts are done by those who I affectionately call, "Table comedians". They will come up to a crowed hostess station, generally when there are waiting lists, and say that they need a "table for 18", when in fact it's just ONE fucking seat that they need. I can read them and see it in their eyes when they are guilty, but rather than give them what they want, which is ATTENTION, a good LAUGH that for some reason they think it's unusual to have large groups waiting on tables during busy times, which it's not, and the enjoyment of getting a JOKE over on the hostess or manager. So, what I do to punish them, when I was in earshot of this BULLSHIT, is immediately run off while saying to the hostess, "I'll be right back, we JUST had a big area clear out! I'll go ahead and pull the tables together!". THEN, ignoring their embarassed, " I was just kiddings", and leaving them in line with 20 other angry customers who do NOT appreciate their fucking humor, I go get a drink of water or something and come back just in time to be "notifed" by the host that he was "just joking".



I then act via body language and facial expressions, HIGHLY annoyed but I would say, "I am so so sorry that you will all have to wait until we can separate the tables, it should ONLY be a few more minutes". Of course he starts apologizing and inevitably will say (as if to place blame on ME), "I thought that she could SEE that it was "just me"." That's when I would intervene and lower the hammer on him and tell him that one person comes in ahead of big parties EVERY DAY and sometimes ALL DAY during very busy times and request large seating arrangements, it is VERY common and NO ONE ELSE comes in and jokes about it, so I had no way of knowing." I am "nice" while explaining it, but I let the mother fucker know that he is pissing me off and wasting MY time and the time of every one else with this nonsense. Before I learned to read "table comedians" so well, I fell for this bullshit on SEVERAL occasions when I was busy. Therefore, it is one of my MAJOR pet peeves. This pregnant woman with her silly attention seeking bullshit deserves the EXACT same treatment.



1)Take away their power. Teach them that they are not "special", but are rather quite common, a dime a dozen..... ("Mam, lone preggos buy multiple tickets EVERY day, it's very common)


2)Make it known that it is NOT funny and NO ONE ELSE thinks so either, ( 'Sorry, I am very busy and don't "get" it". No other customer has joked about this before, sorry. ALL OF THE OTHER CUSTOMERS just want to purchase what they SAY that they want")


3)NO REWARDS for their shitty, inconsiderate, and attention seeking behavior ("Sorry, you will have to wait on a manager void, to get your check, for your change, a new table to be set up, etc......and do NOT laugh, involve other customers if possible)





Many have said that I was a bitch before due to my attitude, but it took years and years of dealing with the public for me to grow this attitude that the general public cultivated into the charming personality, which you now see before you.

Either a case of serious stupidity or plain old attention-whoring. I can't tell which, but it is obvious that either way this lady is a few sandwiches short of a picnic. IMHO they should've just sold her the three tickets - after all the customer is always right! [/sarcasm]

Should've just played along and said "Oh I'm sorry! It's theater policy that there must be one adult accompanying every two children. If you want to see the film, you'll have to decide which one of your 'three children' you're going to leave waiting outside on the kerb."

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

Aaaaah yes, gotta draw attention to the fact that somebody wanted to fuck her and that her reproductive organs work!

If i were the box attendant, I would have said, "Oh! You're pregnant? I thought you were just fat." But then I can be a real bitch to certain people.