Just joined...

and OMG do I have a list of rants!! First off, I found this site yesterday.. I was at work, at my wits freakin end because of a Moo I sit next to, and I was about to slam my head into my monitor. But, I'll get to her in a minute..

During lunch today I was checking out some more of the forums when a woman ran by my cube screaming "It's that time of year again! I have to get the kids to practice!!" Just one more reason I'm glad I'm CF.

Getting back to the chick above.. Ok, I've been sitting next to her since I started working at this place. I love my job. I hate listening to her talk about her kid all day.. It's not just "Oh, Brat got a tooth today!" or "Brat pees in the pot now!" I will be sitting there, minding my own business, trying to work, and I will hear "Hey, look at this.." I look over my shoulder and there is a picture of Brat tiled across her computer monitor... Or, I'm being handed a dumptruck full of photos of Brat burried up to it's neck in sand... And every single one is exctly the same, just a different pose... Or worse, the dreaded stories.. The only one I enjoyed was about her cat smacking the Brat in the head, claws out, and running like hell and hiding.. That was well worth my time to listen too..

I just can't stand it.. I was walking up the one hallway at work and noticed the Brat's picture in every freaking cube on one side of the building.. Um, I never even see those people at Moo's desk!?!?! What? was she just handing them out to random co workers??

One of my coworkers got ballsy one day and announced that Brat was ugly.. Which, it definatley wouldn't make it in a contest for the new Gerber baby, that's for damn sure!

The last straw was yesterday.. Moo pulled on the back of my chair and was like, "Guess what?" (I'm thinking, no, I don't want to know unless it's about me getting a raise for having to sit next to you)
I just looked at her.. "I finally got Brat to drink milk!!" I looked at her, shrugged, and said "So."

She had the audacity to get mad at me, told me I had an attitude problem and that, now get this... that I should "CARE BECAUSE IT'S HER BABY!!!" I almost shit in my chair... Then, she proceded to shout over to our boss that I am mean and that I need an attitude adjustment.. I really wanted to punch her in the face, but, I need my job... I should have said, No, Moo, I don't NEED to care about your damn kid because I ain't the one that spread my legs for some sperm doner who I thought was my friend while drunk at a party!!... But, i kept a level head, waited until she left, and flew off the fucking handle.. I even went as far as to ask my boss' boss if I could switch cubes to get away from her.. He told me to be patient.. WTF does that mean??

***He told me to be patient.. WTF does that mean??***

What does that mean? It means suck it up and deal with it. Don't you understand? She is a neeeewww mooooommmmy. She is excited. You should humour her. Besides, you are a woman so unless you are a cold hearted bitch, you SHOULD be interested in the golden sprog and sainted MOO. /sarcasm.

It's total bull, I know. Do you have any pets? Particularly non traditional pets like snakes or rats, or frogs or other animals that people tend to think badly of? Hit her with the same shit. For every story she tells you about her drooling shitbag, go on and on about you pet. Even if you don't have one, get pictures of them and pass them off as your own.

Good luck. I wish the Be patient meant she was going to be fired soon or that you would be moved away from her, but I doubt it. Still, who knows? Stranger things have happened just when you think the whole world has gone to breeder hell.

Just tell her you're not interested in children. It's simple, and doesn't imply that she's an annoying bitch for trying to shove her snotlings up your ass.

Could also be that your bosses are getting tired the constant talking about the babies, taking off for practice and are getting ready to lay a smackdown on her. You can always hope.

Anoon- It's funny that you say she is a neeeeew moooooomy because actually, the creature is 13 months old.. I thought she'd get over it by now.. And I do have pics of my cats up too. I don't have anything extremely unusual.. Just a guinea pig and a huge 7 year old goldfish that I won at a fair.. (besides my cats, of course) She has been calm about the kid the last few days.. I do check this site out at work, so maybe she saw it on my screen and got the drift.. She is an antagonist, though.. If she knew I disliked hearing about her kid as much as I do, she would go to the extent of making my job hell.. and she can because she is a step above me.. Funniest shit, though.. A few months back, our boss' boss told her that he "feels her daughter is getting in the way of her progress". While that statement is arguably discriminating, I now look at it as if maybe he too was sick of her mindless rambling about said creature. When you are walking around telling all your co workers about the creatures first trip to the beach on company time, then yes, your brat is getting in the way.. Oh, but it's ok to waste the company time and money because it's a very special baby! This kid wasn't even a product of love.. She told me herself that she conceived during a one night stand.. How special!

Good about your boss's boss!

Even if the creature is 13 months, if it is her first, she could have the new mom attitude until creature starts talking and being more independent. I'd say the novelty usually wear off at age 2-3, but sometimes it never does.