Anonymous User
Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 5,443 |
Anonymous User
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 5,443 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 497 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 5,443 |
Anonymous User
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 5,443 |
Anonymous User
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 5,443 |
Anonymous User
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 387 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 3,897 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 5,443 |
Quote
CFBrandy
LOL! CFWest doesn't date black women. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 387 |
Anonymous User
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Quote
KidFreeLuvnLife
Me, personally, would RUN LIKE THE HOUNDS OF HELL. There is nothing but drama in store for you. If the kid was grown (16/17 or so), it wouldn't be so bad but you've got a LIFETIME of hell in front of you.
Drama with the baby's mamma, all the extortion payments he'll be making and I guarantee you the bitchy mother will never be happy with any amount she is given, she'll always be bitching for more, there will be drama with the kid, games played with the baby mamma, power plays. It will go on and on and on. The baby mamma will ALWAYS be part of your lives, ALWAYS. This is whether he's got custody of the kid or not. The mamma will always be in control. She'll use the kid as a tool to control this guy because guys can never stand up to these bitches. He'll cow-tow to her every demand whether it be money or a major change in schedule, you name it. Then, if this kid decides to go to college after high school, there will be more drama because the baby mamma will probably try to have the father pay for that too. I've seen this shit first-hand.
RUN AWAY!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 5,275 |
Anonymous User
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Quote
liz
:1welcome CFBrandy!
I have some personal experience with this topic - when I was 25 I was involved with a guy with 2 brats from a previous marriage, aged 4 and 6. I was quite clear that I would never have kids and told him so very early on. He was fine with it and in fact he'd already had the snip.
Before I ever met his kids, they interfered with the relationship. We'd go out to dinner and he'd get a phone call from his crazy bitch ex wife, claiming the lil bastards "wanted their daddy". That's just one example off the top of my head. Long story short, the final straw came when the nutty moo joined the gym I used, followed me into the ladies' room and called me a fucking slut. I'm not saying this will happen to you of course - but do not underestimate the baby mama drama that comes from being with a childed man. I did, and had I known then what I know now, I'd never have gotten involved with him in the first place. I ended the relationship - yes it was painful as I did love him but looking back it was the right thing to do. I realized that I didn't want brats of my own, and the last thing I wanted was to raise someone else's, even on a part time basis.
Only you can make the decision about this man - we can only give advice.
In your shoes, I'd want to know: where is the baby mama? Does he have sole or joint custody? Remember the kid is only a baby :baybie1 - you have a minimum of 18 years of having to deal with this kid and the baby mama if you get involved with him. Is he worth that?
Are you ready and willing to deal with his kid? Will you have to play second fiddle to her in terms of affection, time, money, etc? I hate to say it, but I suspect the answer is yes.
Is he serious about not wanting any more kids and getting a snip, and has he taken any concrete steps to do so ie had a consultation with a doc, etc? If he shows any reluctance about it, I would be very wary about taking things any further.
I am wondering if you've made the decision already tho, as you've said you don't wanna date a man with kids. In that case, if I were you, I'd get the heck out now and save myself a lot of shit.
Hope this helps. Let us know how you get on.
Anonymous User
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Well I'm 28 still in nursing school so I am in no rush to get married. I sooo don't want that kind of drama that you had clematis.This just sucks because everything else about him is perfect with the exception of the baby of course.Quote
clematis
I married a man years ago with a 12-year-old from a former relationship (they never married--I was beyond stupid to enter this trainwreck).
Imagine my surprise when I found I'd married my then-husband's ex as well as my husband. She was a constant shadowy presence in our own private home, via phone calls, emails, and diktats regarding my stepson.
I had all of the responsibility for my stepson and none of the authority. I was legally responsible for him, (read: potential lawsuit) but I couldn't establish any sort of discipline or parental control. Mull that over for a bit.
I divorced my then-husband within a year and shed my stepson (good kid, born into and damaged by a toxic situation he didn't deserve) and shed my unwitting marriage to my ex's shitty, neurotic girlfriend.
Never. Again. I recently (1.5 yr. ago) married a wonderful CF man. No troubles. Happy. Enjoyment of life. Peaceful home. I lucked out to find such a good guy, but it can be done. Took 40 years, in my case, but is worth it.
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 5,275 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
k-man
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 |
Re: Help!!! January 16, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,846 |