Selected Entries from a Baybee Rabid Moomie Wannabe Blog

Some highlights from the blog of a moomie wannabee entitled, "Pre-Heated Oven: Where Is My Bun?"



BFN=big fat negative on a preggo test

IUI-Intrauterine Insemination



The journey

10/2005-Got married!
12/2006-Began TTC
8/2007-Diagnosed with Varicocele
10/2007-Varicocelectomy
7/23/2008-First RE appointment
8/11/2008-3 day ultrasound and bloodwork
9/2008-IUI #1=BFN
10/6/2008 -HSG =all clear!
10/08 -IUI #2 =BFN
12/08-IUI#3 =BFN
1/09 -IUI#4 =BFN

Money Spent on IF
2008-
7/23/08 -$323 RE office visit
7/23/08 -$727 cervical cultures
8/11/08 -$948 day 3 bloodwork
8/11/08 -$536 day 3 ultrasound
8/20/08 -$285 for IUI #1
9/08-9/09 -$150 semen storage fee
9/5/08 -$194 Semen analysis and cryopreservation
10/6/08 -pending $3,500 for HSG
10/11/08 -$285 for IUI #2
12/1/08 -$285 for IUI #3
12/27/08 -$285 for IUI #4

"...Right now the deciding factor will be whether or not he requires us to do all the testing again, b/c if he does, it would basically be the same cost as doing it with our current RE, which would still put it a bit out of reach at this point. Also, meds are not included and those run between $2-3K, so overall it is still quite a bit of money. But for some reason seeing it in the single digits ($8-9K) is much better than the double digits ($12-15k)




"Getting off my ass"
"I am been moping on the couch since Thursday evening. I have gotten off a few times, actually gotten out of the house for an hour at a time, but for about 22 hrs of each day I have been sitting here, depressed.... It's not like this was our first failed IUI, or that we are not used to the BFNs, but the past few weeks have been really difficult.So, in an effort to feel better I went to Home Depot today and bought chocolate brown paint. I am finally doing it. I am getting rid of the yellow walls in the empty-baby-room. I just cannot look at it anymore...... The yellow made me too depressed and I didn't want to be in that room. Hopefully the new color will help.,,,,,, We thought about going to the museum here, or out to a movie, but I am not sure if the potential babies and bellies will be too much for me. We saw a belly at Costco today, I actually turned to DH and said "people in that state should not be allowed in public". I think I am at an all new low and my apologies to those of you who are pg...."



"Stagnant"
Sometimes I feel like our lives are not moving forward, and we will stay where we are until we finally have a child. I see everyone around us passing milestones in their lives, and here we sit in the same place we were a year ago (I would say two years ago, but at least we passed the house-buying milestone last year). I find people in our lives asking us less frequently about how we are in regards to IF. At first everyone was there for us, supporting us, asking questions about how we were doing, but now, other than you sweet girls and a few others IRL, we are rarely asked.,,,,,I know my friendships are dying b/c I just don't have it in me most days to make the effort......do you think this is a common side-effect of IF? Or do I just suck?"



She is already premeditating the SAHMoo thing
"...On the subject of work, I have been thinking a lot about what we will do when we finally have a kid. I really want to stay at home, but with our current mortgage and student loans it is just not possible. We have talked about putting our house on the market if/when I do get pg and just waiting to see what happens. But I love our house, and where we live. But, I would love to be at home with a child much more......"



"Is she pregnant?"
"Every time I walk past one of my colleagues I wonder if they are pregnant. Thankfully they are all women I seriously work with close to 30 women who are in their childbearing years. At any point there is at least one pregnant belly and one person on maternity leave. It makes me paranoid. To make matters worse they all go around saying things like "You better not drink the water!" or "You look so rested, how lucky you are to not have kids yet." I am constantly looking them up and down, thinking 'boy, that looks a bit like a maternity shirt' or 'her face is looking puffy, it must be pregnancy water weight'. I am going a bit crazy...."

Why not save the freaking money and put it towards the debts? Where the heck are these peoples' priorities? Take the blinders off instead of walking around like zombies saying and thinking "BABY BABY BABY" over and over again.

I was recently called selfish because I said I didn't want to ruin my body by having children (and that's just one of the reasons why I am CF). To that I responded, "Why? Because I don't want to contribute to overpopulation and create the need for a new landfill for all of the diapers and other crap that comes along with having a kid?" That put an end to that conversation right away. The selfish ones are those who are afraid to leave their house because they might see a pregnant woman. Actually, make that selfish and crazy.

ETA: I'm convinced that there is a breeder collective, much like the Borg from Star Trek, that kidnaps these women for a day and places an implant in their skulls that hooks them up to the breeder hive mind. They're probably lurking outside my house as we speak...

Sometimes I feel like our lives are not moving forward, and we will stay where we are until we finally have a child. I see everyone around us passing milestones in their lives, and here we sit in the same place we were a year ago (I would say two years ago

I would say live your own life and be happy with what you have. Create your own milestone. You could go to culinary school, for example, for what was spent on the treatments. Our local (very good) community college has a great culinary program. Start up an Etsy shop. Create a great vegetable garden. Do your own thing and to hell with what anyone else thinks.

What gets me is that judging from her profile-bio stuff, she is 28 years old, attractive, well educated, and has a damned good (and steady) state job within the educational system and her husband works for the state as well. Yet, she is willing to throw all of that away, rack up ALL of these expenses that she estimates to be in the 10k range (so far) just for the intrauterine stuff, not COUNTING the 15k (per go-round) it will cost to do the IVF, which of course is the direction in which this is headed. She is already thinking about selling their home (that they JUST bought and love) in order to be a SAHMoo for a baybee which she hasn't even yet conceived. I can't imagine that her husband is all too happy about these added expenses, selling their new home, and then the idea that she will just quit her job. What a nightmare that must be for this guy. This sounds like one of these "bait and switch" tactics that we have discussed before.


All I can see is that the guy agreed to have a famblee with her, but I SERIOUSLY doubt that he imagined paying 10,15, 50k out of pocket to do it, sell the first home that he had ever bought, and for his wife to just UP and quit her job. If she gets knocked up after IVF for a year or so, they could EASILY be 50K PLUS in debt, have no home to call their own, have the ADDITIONAL expense of a new baybee, but be working with HALF (or less) of their income. It's pretty stupid to voluntarily and unnecessarily cause this type of financial burden, especially at such a young age and new marriage. They could have paid off debt with that ten grand, gone on a NICE vacation, held it back in case of emergency, or any number of other things. I don't even think that she gave "traditional" baybee making a chance, going by the time frame. She mentions that he has a low sperm count and she has something wrong that requires fertility drugs (or so she thinks), but they hardly got the sheets dirty before she went racing off to a fertility doctor. It's entirely possible that she could conceive naturally in a few years, which is PLENTY of time at her age, and they would have a better nest egg for the kyd AND a home.



This is really one of the more severe cases of baybee rabies which I have come across and she has FULL BLOWN symptoms. Depression due to BFN's, jealous of knocked up co-workers, difficulty (anger) even coming into contact with pregnant women in public places, mindlessly being herded to a fertility clinic when she only gave "TTC" from 12/2006-8/2007, and then started up all of this costly and time consuming nonsense. IVF and other fertility treatments are becoming SO common, some women don't even give the sperm time to eject from the penis before they are hanging their asses off of the marital bed, over a waste paper basket, and pissing on a stick . It's really gotten WAY out of control. I don't think that a doctor should accept otherwise young and healthy patients for fertility treatments until after 2 years of "TTC", certainly not only after a 25 y/o has "tried" for 8 or 10 months. I predict in the near future that if they don't get knocked up on their honeymoons, they will IMMEDIATELY begin IF treatments. :sx :bawl

I feel sorry for her poor husband as well, if she's this whiny with strangers on the net just imagine what she must be like in real life. At least we can just close the blog when we get to annoyed with her whining. I bet her husband wishes she'd come with an off switch.

Kaye

At first everyone was there for us, supporting us, asking questions about how we were doing, but now, other than you sweet girls and a few others IRL, we are rarely asked.,,,,,I know my friendships are dying b/c I just don't have it in me most days to make the effort......do you think this is a common side-effect of IF? Or do I just suck?"

You don't suck. They're tired of hearing you whine because everytime they ask, you probably go on and on about your TTC adventures, and they're tired of hearing it. So use all that money you're spending on treatments to buy hobby supplies, do what clemantis said, and open an etsy shop. It's not gonna provide you with nearly as much money and your jobs do. But knowing that your creating something for other people rather than thinking about yourself and your baybee can make you feel a little less useless.

We thought about going to the museum here, or out to a movie, but I am not sure if the potential babies and bellies will be too much for me. We saw a belly at Costco today, I actually turned to DH and said "people in that state should not be allowed in public".

and DH said "jesus, get over yourself"

and jeez if you really want a kid that badly. adopt.

That bimbo has put ALL of her self-worth on her little baby cavity!:bawl

And if/when she does get pregnant, you KNOW she's going to be belly-rubbing and attention-whoring in every public place possible -- without a care in the world for the way her own baby-filled gut is making other "depressed" infertile rabid wannabreeds feel -- she just seems like a completely narcissistic, selfish, melodramatic, overindulged asshole. I can't believe it's possible to dislike someone so strongly based on just a few paragraphs.

And I have another question. Why is it, on all these pathetic mommy blogs - ones where a loaf has been lost and they've successfully birthed a live loaf - why can't these women just be happy that they finally have the baybee they've "gone thru so much for?" Why do they constantly bleat on and on and on, to anyone who will read their fodder, how SAD they are about SO AND SO's death, and keep calling the kid SO AND SO'S "big brother" and everything? The fucking anniversary reminders, the crusades for government bills to make all this infant loss an awareness thing. Why keep going on about it? Why not just embrace what you have and be happy? Again. Martyrdom. We have to remind everyone that while doing TMIJITW, we've also suffered an unimaginable loss. A loss bigger than 9/11 could ever hope to be.

I was reading this one site where these parents, 4 years later, were STILL signing the dead kid's name to the fucking holiday cards. WTF?

To these dumb cunts, I say GET OVER IT ALREADY. The kid is dead, gone, buried, flushed, what have you. You've got the loaf you've always wanted now shut the fuck up already. Nobdy cares about your dead loaf, the ashes in the urn or the ultrasound pictures of "what could have been." Good lord. I am SO glad that is and won't ever be my hell.

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KidFreeLuvnLife
And I have another question. Why is it, on all these pathetic mommy blogs - ones where a loaf has been lost and they've successfully birthed a live loaf - why can't these women just be happy that they finally have the baybee they've "gone thru so much for?" Why do they constantly bleat on and on and on, to anyone who will read their fodder, how SAD they are about SO AND SO's death, and keep calling the kid SO AND SO'S "big brother" and everything? The fucking anniversary reminders, the crusades for government bills to make all this infant loss an awareness thing. Why keep going on about it? Why not just embrace what you have and be happy? Again. Martyrdom. We have to remind everyone that while doing TMIJITW, we've also suffered an unimaginable loss. A loss bigger than 9/11 could ever hope to be.

I was reading this one site where these parents, 4 years later, were STILL signing the dead kid's name to the fucking holiday cards. WTF?

To these dumb cunts, I say GET OVER IT ALREADY. The kid is dead, gone, buried, flushed, what have you. You've got the loaf you've always wanted now shut the fuck up already. Nobdy cares about your dead loaf, the ashes in the urn or the ultrasound pictures of "what could have been." Good lord. I am SO glad that is and won't ever be my hell.

At least they didn't babbler about licking all over rotting baby corpses, biting at their fingers and toes, and sniffing at them like doggies would smell each other's buttholes!XP

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kidlesskim
Some highlights from the blog of a moomie wannabee entitled, "Pre-Heated Oven: Where Is My Bun?"
We thought about going to the museum here, or out to a movie, but I am not sure if the potential babies and bellies will be too much for me. We saw a belly at Costco today, I actually turned to DH and said "people in that state should not be allowed in public". I think I am at an all new low and my apologies to those of you who are pg...."

SHE CAN'T GO OUT IN PUBLIC DUE TO JEALOUSY? Look out below- we're about to lose another husband.....

Why is it that people can be allowed to obsess about this one thing, day in, day out, for years -- to spend all their resources on it -- to have a totally vacant life around it -- to appeal to the gods and any other form of superstition trying to 'steer' the desired result -- to become openly hostile and irrationally angry at other individuals who possess what they want -- and NOT be considered mentally ill?

Had the topic been a famous individual they were pursuing, they'd be banged up for stalking. Had it been a hobby or activity (from skiing to drinking alcohol), their fambly would have performed an intervention. Had it been a medical or health crisis (say a tumour or a condition of some sort), their doctor would've recommended months of special counselling to talk them down from a nervous breakdown over the matter. But no. It's about wanting a bay-bee. So it's normal and acceptable and, in fact, encouraged and applauded for the woman to behave like a seething cauldron of aggressive, blind self-obsession.

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

good point, Amethyst!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pee 9, wait to p (captcha)

What you are witnessing is bald-faced coveting, which happens to be #10 on the commandment list. I am sure husband will leave eventually.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

CAPTCHA = wpHHp

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twocents
pee 9, wait to p (captcha)

This is not in the format. What does it mean?

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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Had the topic been a famous individual they were pursuing, they'd be banged up for stalking. Had it been a hobby or activity (from skiing to drinking alcohol), their fambly would have performed an intervention. Had it been a medical or health crisis (say a tumour or a condition of some sort), their doctor would've recommended months of special counselling to talk them down from a nervous breakdown over the matter. But no. It's about wanting a bay-bee. So it's normal and acceptable and, in fact, encouraged and applauded for the woman to behave like a seething cauldron of aggressive, blind self-obsession.

Interesting and so true...
That seething self-obsession is exactly why they have such a horrible time getting over the fact that they can't conceive. Yea, I'm guessing hubby isn't going to want to stick around for this ride much longer.