Breeders have made us stupid

This isn't so much a warning label, but the funniest thing I ever saw for "instructions", was on a heating packet for MREs (Meal Ready to Eat).

Basically, you're supposed to fill up the packet with water and it will react with the stuff inside it and will get hot.
There is a diagram that shows how high to fill it up with water, and then says, "Lean against rock, or something"

Or "something". Yes, they used "something" as nomenclature. Something, in my mind, that could mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Like some smartass that thinks "something" is his sheltermate's head while it is resting on the ground.

Well since the MRE is designed for and marketed to the military, one would imagine that the head it's being leaned against would also be a member of the military, who would then properly educate the idiot as to what "something" does not include.

I vaguely remember hearing one time that every warning on a label is as a result of a law suit.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

or a potential lawsuit from those who want to sue and make money.. check out the mlaw website..

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Oh, I wish I had a package to look at right now

I use handwarmers in my gloves when I go snowboarding. The little disposable ones that warm up after you open the wrapper and they're exposed to air. I remember reading the warning on the package once, it said something alone the lines of "Waring: Product is hot" and "Remove product from glove immediately if temperature becomes uncomfortably warm." Because, yeah, if it's burning me I'm going to leave it on just a little longer.

I've seen that peanut one too, on peanut butter. I think it might have been Jif or Peter Pan.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

I have seen it on Peanut M&M packages before, so I am not the least bit surprised. One fairly well accepted "label" that people interpret in a common way that has ALWAYS annoyed me is this nonsense that it's "illegal" for a consumer to remove the label off of a mattress. Anytime anyone makes a joke about it such as at a shared hotel room while traveling with a group, ".You had better not rip that tag off! They might arrest you!", lets me know IMMEDIATELY that I am dealing with a sheeple who has a herd mentality and who has also never bothered ONCE to consider that he is ignorant and unaware. It might would be funny if they didn't really believe that it was illegal for me to rip the mattress label off and that they comprehended what the warning actually meant, but I am painfully aware that they do not. As time spent in captivity with the suspected sheeple progresses, just exactly how stupid they are generally comes to light in various ways.


Few things annoy me more than someone who thinks he knows everything, but who actually knows next to nothing. My ex husband could fill up ENDLESS VOLUMES of encyclopedias with 1/3 of the things that he THOUGHT he knew but didn't. If there was a Nobel prize for the most info that a person thinks he knows but doesn't, he would definately stand a chance at winning it.:bdid

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1127224/Beware-The-daft-egg-box-warning-contents-contain-eggs.html

these health-conscious times food companies are increasingly keen to warn consumers if ingredients may cause allergic reactions.

But one firm has gone a step further by advising shoppers that its boxes of eggs contain...egg.

The Happy Egg Company’s six-pack of eggs – which features the company’s name and is decorated with a picture of an egg and a cartoon chicken – contains the message ‘allergy advice: contains egg’ inside the lid of the boxes.
Crazy: Warning inside the egg box lid

Mail on Sunday food expert Tom Parker Bowles said: ‘It does get to the point when warnings go too far. We don’t need to be told a peanut contains nuts or eggs contain egg. ‘Perhaps as a nation we should stop being so overexcited about the bureaucracy of everything.

‘The company probably feel they need to cover their backs to escape the wrath of health-and-safety rules.’

The firm initially claimed that supermarkets’ strict labelling criteria were to blame for the overzealous warning.

A spokesman said: ‘Some retailers insist on this information within their packs as part of a due diligence procedure. Any products deemed as potentially allergenic are included in this. A crazy world, but occasionally we have to do silly things to cover ourselves.’

Later The Happy Egg Company admitted it had chosen to print the advice of its own volition – after the supermarkets involved said they only demand producers comply with the law – adding: ‘We have to state the obvious to cover all eventualities.’

But bizarrely, the company has not printed the warning in its boxes of ten eggs.

When asked why the advice had not been repeated, the spokesman reiterated his initial claim that it was due to the retailers’ requirements.

Happy Egg products, which are free range, are on sale in Asda and Morrisons stores and will be in Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Somerfield from next month.

Regulations issued by the Food Standards Agency (FSA) watchdog require manufacturers to state on packaging if goods contain allergens.

These consist of 14 substances including eggs, milk, shellfish and nuts, which are recognised as causing allergic reactions.

A spokesperson for the FSA said: ‘Allergen advice has to be stated, but it can be anywhere, including in the ingredients list and in the name of the product.

'As long as the box says “eggs” that is sufficient. Companies just need to use common sense with their labelling.’

Lindsay McManus, from charity Allergy UK, said: ‘It does seem silly but they’re being extra-careful and making absolutely sure they’re covered.’

Earlier this month Cadbury said it was including a warning, in yellow capital letters, stating that its Dairy Milk chocolate bar ‘contains milk’.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

There will ALWAYS be some idiot who will say, " I didn't realize that I was allergic to eggs, I only thought it was egg products. The egg company should have made me aware that their eggs contained egg products". This kind of bullshit goes back to parents letting their kyds get away with shit because of the words NOT spoken by the parent. Such as, "You said for me to be home by 10 PM. You did NOT say that I couldn't leave again at midnight". These stupid people need to grow up and take an ounce of personal responsibility. Fast food restaurants don't make us fat, the Jack Daniels corporation doesn't make us alcoholics, and Phillip-Morris didn't ever make anyone smoke. Unless there is negligence, purposeful non disclosure, or willful misconduct by a company or it's employees and/or agents then I believe that ALL civil claims for physical and punitive damages should be tossed out of court.

Warning from Asda: This milk bottle contains, er, milk
By Daily Mail Reporter

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1132745/Warning-Asda-This-milk-bottle-contains-er-milk.html


In a nation seemingly overcome by health and safety paranoia, it's only natural for shops to seek to protect themselves from litigious customers.

So even the most inoffensive products can be plastered with warnings that they contain 'nuts', 'eggs', ' shellfish' or some other potential allergen.

Asda, however, really is milking this trend for all it's worth.

Under the heading 'Allergy advice', plastic bottles of milk sold by the supermarket carry a serious warning - 'Contains milk'.

Apparently, that the product is called milk and the milk is plain to see are insufficient signals to those who are dairy intolerant.

The Asda episode is indicative of a policy by supermarkets and food manufacturers to liberally stamp warnings on products to avoid legal complications.

They fear that failing to include the warning will leave them vulnerable to compensation if a shopper suffers an adverse reaction.

Last week it was revealed that the Happy Egg Company was selling eggs through leading supermarkets with a warning on the box saying, 'Contains eggs'.

Earlier this month, Cadbury said it was including a warning, in yellow capital letters, that its Dairy Milk chocolate bar 'contains milk'.

Regulations issued by the Food Standards Agency require manufacturers to state on the packaging if goods contain allergens - a total of 14 substances including eggs, shellfish, nuts and milk.

A spokesman for the regulator said it was not necessary to have an additional allergen warning on a milk carton.

'The use of allergenic ingredients must be declared on a label, but it can be anywhere, including in the ingredients list and in the name of the product,' she said.

'In the case of milk, where it is clear the product being sold is cow's milk, there is no legal requirement for a label to contain additional allergen advice.'

Many fear the use of unnecessary warnings risks bringing the allergy warning regime into disrepute.

Readers who contacted the Mail after seeing the case of the Happy Egg boxes thought the warnings have gone too far.

One wrote: 'Most health and safety advice, information and warnings have nothing to do with the health and safety of anyone and is purely about avoiding litigation.'

Another said: 'I'm surprised no one has put a health warning on my Sunday roast chicken - "Not suitable for vegetarians".'

Food expert Tom Parker Bowles said: 'It does get to the point when warnings go too far.

'We don't need to be told a peanut contains nuts or eggs contain egg.'

Nine-year-old Rory Poulter noticed the latest warning while using Asda's semi-skimmed organic milk to cool his breakfast porridge.

'How ridiculous is that,' said Rory, from Richmond, Surrey. 'It is a carton of milk, just milk, why would anyone need to be warned that it contains milk? It's just silly.'

Asda admitted it had got things wrong and said it will remove the warning later this year.
'Everyone knows milk is milk,' a spokesman added.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

My husband and I were just talking about this subject last night. We bought a big container of peanuts last night, and after I noticed the big peanut allergy announcement, I look down to see a big yellow and red label that says: "WARNING! CHOKING HAZARD! DO NOT GIVE TO CHILDREN UNDER 6!" So, again, someone complained that their kid ate a handful of peanuts and gagged, and now there's this. Isn't all food technically a choking hazard anyway? Except maybe mashed potatoes. This is just so stupid.

Another little "gem"--I treated myself to two small bottles of cologne. The bottle of product is beside what is obviously a box to hold it. Found small writing on the backing cardboard--wait for it--"Box is empty". Yeah and so is the head of anyone thinking there would be two tiny bottles of perfume for five bucks!s

Was the "high water exists" sign on Rush Branch Rd. near Somerset, Ky? My wife and I laughed 'til we cried. I had to stop for a minute. Our lawyer friend said it's not even a legal warning. A group from Lexington put a photo of it on their CD case, with one of a duck.
How about "For indoor or outdoor use only." on a string of christmas lights?

What I find so stupid about the allergen warnings is that people can be allergic to all sorts of different things. Those of us who are allergic to products which aren't 'popular' allergies have to *gasp* read the label and be aware of the many different ways the product can be written if we want to avoid it. Now, I can see the argument for standardizing the names of products (as is done with the E-numbers for chemicals) so that it is clear what the product contains, and I can also see the use of the 'in a facility which produces' warnings of potential cross-contamination, but the 'product contains' labels are for morons. I think it's only a matter of time before someone who is allergic to some other product--spinach, for instance--sues a company for not putting a 'product contains' warning: "I've seen those 'product contains allergen' warning, and of course if I'm allergic to something, that's an allergen, so I thought if I didn't see one of those labels warning about spinach, I was fine."

I checked my peanut butter, and fortunately it didn't contain a warning, but some cookies said "Allergy information: wheat (gluten), soya, lactose, milk protein." That 'allergy information' really does imply that those are the only sorts of things you could be allergic to. I don't know why this idiot they're aiming at can't read the ingredients: "wheat flour....(soya lethicine)...whole wheat flour...whey powder.." (Tough shit if you're allergic to "cocoa butter...sugar...plant oil...glucose syrup..." or something else.)

I'm also surprised that they haven't gone to pictures, for the sake of the illiterate and people who don't speak the language. Of course, as someone with allergies, I know how to find my allergens even in products in other countries, by looking at a product I know will contain it and figuring out the word from the ingredient list. I'm surprised that process isn't considered too difficult for the pea-brained sneuwphlaykes people seem to have in mind when they came up with these warning labels.

Agreed, Yurble. My mom is allergic to citric acid, which is in just about everything, and she reads the fucking labels. Then again, my mother is literate, intelligent, and self-reliant, unlike the stupid fucks who want warnings on everything.

It's your hell; you rot in it!

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reaperess
Agreed, Yurble. My mom is allergic to citric acid, which is in just about everything, and she reads the fucking labels. Then again, my mother is literate, intelligent, and self-reliant, unlike the stupid fucks who want warnings on everything.

Perhaps we can just slap a label on every newborn and call it a day: Warning! Life is known to result in death.

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yurble

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reaperess
Agreed, Yurble. My mom is allergic to citric acid, which is in just about everything, and she reads the fucking labels. Then again, my mother is literate, intelligent, and self-reliant, unlike the stupid fucks who want warnings on everything.

Perhaps we can just slap a label on every newborn and call it a day: Warning! Life is known to result in death.

larious Agreed!

It's your hell; you rot in it!

This weekend I bought a can of fancy mixed nuts (meaning it is not 80 percent peanuts, it actually contains nuts I really love in mass quantities.)

As I was reading the ingredients, I saw it. WARNING: CONTAINS NUTS.

Was very relieved that I was not about to spend 6 bucks on an empty can with nuts on the label.

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annie35
I bought a jar of peanuts and on the jar it reads, "contains peanut products." Also produced in a factory that also produces peanut products.
Helloooooo..... I bought a jar of peanuts, I expect it to contain peanuts. I guess some little shitling that was allergic to peanuts ate some and the company was sued, so they now put a peanut warning on the jar of peanuts

i think i had similar on a box of 100% wheat...said it contains wheat products....ingredients: wheat.

you still have breeders: "My kids are allergic to peanut butter-do you have any peanut butter not made with peanuts or in a facility that does not process peanut products? are you laughing?"

my favorite was at the supermarket i go to. they have a salad bar and to hold containers shut, they have rubber bands. for a time, they took the rubber bands off because someone got hurt with the rubber bands. i requested rubber bands several times, only to return the next time and have no rubber bands. i was getting pissed because the containers pop open easily without rubber bands, so you get home and have salad all over the damn place in the bag. so, i decided, if a complaint got the rubber bands removed, a complaint should get it back and i wrote something like this:

"Please put the rubber bands back on the salad bar for normal people such as myself to keep our salad containers closed. I don't think I should be penalized and have to have salad flying around my car because some idiot needs Rubber Bands101 in order to figure them out. If they are hurting themselves with a rubber band, then they have no business using them anyway."

Not exactly those words but that same sentiment.

the rubber bands have been back since.

People whose kids are allergic to nuts, want nuts banned everywhere. As in, they want them outlawed. They claim if their child even smells nuts on someone's breath, that the child will die. Or smelling nuts from fifty feet across a crowded room.

Pretty extreme, if you ask me. Nuts are a staple in my diet (as well as many other people in the world) and I would hate to see them banned.

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kidlesskim
Then there's all the "For external use only" warnings on lotion, anti-perspirant, ointments, cosmetics, sunscreen, bug repellant, vapor rubs, etc......Do people REALLY swallow these things or spray/shove them up their asses, noses, and cooties, and in their eyes and ears?

let's just say this-most warning that appear to be idiotic are put their reactively, not proactively.

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paulaedwallie
People whose kids are allergic to nuts, want nuts banned everywhere. As in, they want them outlawed. They claim if their child even smells nuts on someone's breath, that the child will die. Or smelling nuts from fifty feet across a crowded room.

Pretty extreme, if you ask me. Nuts are a staple in my diet (as well as many other people in the world) and I would hate to see them banned.

i doubt nuts and peanuts will ever be banned by governments. look at it as "health issue of the moment"....