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has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 |
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 3,073 |
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Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
Anonymous User
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 |
Anonymous User
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 |
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 3,073 |
Anonymous User
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 |
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,992 |
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Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 20, 2009 |
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 21, 2009 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,992 |
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Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 21, 2009 |
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 21, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
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Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 21, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Quote
Cambion
Well, one of the reasons I left my ex was that he wanted kids and he tried to change my mind. He said that he'd make sure his mommy would take care of our kids forever so we could live normal childfree lives...so what the fuckity fuck would be the point of having kids if we weren't going to raise them? He also wanted a whole litter of baybees, so when I told him none never, his response was, "Well, we'll just have one then. I want a few and you want none, so it evens out." There was a whole other laundry list of reasons I left that schmuck, not limited to him being controlling, overprotective, nuts and having a past history of being sexually abusive (and having relatives who are welfare whores and murderers). Recently, Ex proposed to and knocked up a married woman...he's doing reeeeeal good.
I'm really doing a lot of hoping as far as my BF and I. He seems to want kids, but I really don't think he wants them for the right reasons. DBF thinks he is a failure in many ways and he really is not...he could be doing better, but he could be doing much worse, and I think he wants to have kids so he feels like he's done something 'meaningful' with his life and so he can have a few Kodak moments. I like that he once said if his [potential] child screamed bloody murder, he'd lock it in the closet. That was funny. Thus far, it seems he is willing to relinquish having kids to be with me, but neither I nor he knows for sure if he will be okay with this forever and I do not want him to resent me because of it. We've had the kids talk and he knows how I feel, so I guess I just want to really hope when we have the talk again and if he says he wants me more than babies, we don't get married and he suddenly decides he wants babies. I have been honest with him, and I trust him to be honest with me.
And for the record, I have asked him if he'd consider volunteering, babysitting, or being a Big Brother in order to get a kid fix. Or adopting if I DO for some reason change my mind. He said he "didn't want to take care of another person's mistakes". And he'd also never date a childed woman. I don't think he realizes than a child being biologically your own doesn't guarantee you'll love them. And I'm sure I'd be expected to do the scutwork...I'd bet a thousand bucks that if he were to be a SAHDud, he'd go nuts. He would not enjoy having his MMORPGing or Wii-playing interrupted by a baby or a mobile toddler.
I made him promise me we will talk about this again before he tries to propose. I do not want him wasting money on a ring if we can't sort out these issues first. I'm hoping for the best because I do love him. Hopefully this won't be two relationships busted over kids.
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 21, 2009 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 3,073 |
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Anonymous User
Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 21, 2009 |
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Re: has anyone else lost a marriage over reproduction? January 21, 2009 |