Impressed with her response

My husband's cousin, has a 10 year old girl. She openly admits to us, that we are smart for not havng kids. She admits she had a child to help her marriage and it did not.
Well we were eating dinner last night and her 10 year old looked at me and asked why I don't have kids. The little girl said, that SIL was pregnant and much younger than me, and she doesn't understand why I don't have babies.
Cousin, grabbed her by the arm and told her it is none of her business why, we don't have kids and she had bettter never ask another personal question like that to anyone. She also made her apologize. I then told her I did not mind answering the question. I told her that you don't have to have kids, if you do not want them. That some people don't need kids in their life and it is okay for those people not to have kids. I told her that if she grows up and does not want kids, it is okay not to have them, that her life belongs to her and not to her friends or family. She smiled and said, then it is okay? I told her she does not have to have kids or even get married, if that is what she wants.
I was impressed with mom correcting her for such a question and allowing me to tell the truth.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

dingdingding. Brilliant. Now if only some grownups would take that advice.

Annie dear,

Finally, a happy chapter from the saga called, "Annie35".

A great discussion between you, the 10-year-old, and her mother.

______________________________________________

"I thank god I'm an atheist!" -- Mike "Meathead" Stivic (from All in the Family)

Annie, that's great that you had the opportunity to present the CF point of view to the younger generation. I bet it made quite an impression on her, too.

From a kids point of view, it would probably be natural to ask the question: most likely (at her age before she has been totally brainwashed) it is, in all probability, an innocent question.

A) very good to teach the question is a personal one.
at least this kid won't be brought up to bingo.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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twocents
From a kids point of view, it would probably be natural to ask the question: most likely (at her age before she has been totally brainwashed) it is, in all probability, an innocent question.

I absolutely agree with that, and it is great you were able to tell her that her life is hers.:beer

How sweet and utterly refreshing! You answered the question in the perfect manner, just as a 10 year old would understand and be happy with. Bravo!

What a great answer, one that empowers a girl to make her own life choices. Perfect!

Great!

This is the main reason why I try to always be honest about being CF. At the very least it shows a young person that it is very possible to not "just have kids because it's what everyone does"...and anything that keeps someone from having a kid they don't want is fine by me.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Kudos to the girl's PNBs and you as well annie35; you both contributed to a powerful teaching moment for this curious young lady. Hopefully your words of wisdom will stick in her mind for many many years.

Nice work! If only I were lucky enough to have had an adult tell me those things when I was 10, I might not have spent so many years feeling guilty and anxious about it.

Even at that age I used to feel like a complete fraud whenever I'd pretend like having children was in my future. I just wanted to be normal, and being normal involved saying things like "well when I grow up and have kids..." and "I'll probably choose a name like Meredith or Jennifer if I have a daughter." I remember getting a weird squicked-out feeling and not quite believing the sound of my own voice, on the rare occasions I'd remark on 'what it'll be like when I have kids'. Because it sort of was someone else's words coming out of my mouth -- words of my mom, my grandmothers, my aunties, neighbours' moms, ladies on television...

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly