Having real nanny problems here

from here:

Having real nanny problems here. We have one DS who is now in nursery school. We hired nanny when he was born. She was very lovign and attentive to him. (Me and DH both WOH FT). At that time we asked her to do some housework but never really "enforced" it. As time went on she frankly has become lazier and lazier. Now that DS in school part-time each day I have started asking her to do some light chores around the house - real simple stuff like taking out the trash, sweeping, folding laundry. She does some of these things, some of the time. She went to DH crying and telling him that I am being so awful to her, she could quit and get another job but is staying because she loves our son etc. etc. and that she is not doing housework because she is too tired after dropping DS off at school (about 1 mile walk - so we had given her a metrocard). I am ready to let her go but DH is really afraid of confrontation. What do I do??

some responses:

Let her go - it will be hard on ds for a short while but you'll be able to find someone who will appreciate the job and not mind taking out the trash etc.

[OP]: I made it clear to her that the job had changed because our son is in school and that in order to keep her I was going to fill her time with these chores (which she was supposed to be doing anyhow, I introduced them as "new" to wipe the slate clean). Feel like I am bending over backwards for this woman.

agreed, got to put the expectations out there, if she doesn't like what she has to do, she can leave. good luck to her in this economy

I;m so happy my DH has a job, he could blow his boss for all I care but seriously, she should be grateful to be employed. She needs an attitude adjustment

You hired a nanny. If you want a housekeeper, hire a HOUSEKEEPER. Does your employer ask YOU to do "light chores" around the office like emptying the wastebaskets?

and

Hello. Having worked in the industry for over 10 years, I can understand your situation. Oftentimes, it is difficult for families to address issues with their nannies given the intimate working relationship involved. I am an independent consultant and one of the areas I focus on is helping families with nanny issues such as searching & hiring nannies, problems that arise, etc. If you are interested in my help, you can email me at preciousknudsen@hotmail.com.

Wow, what an entitlement-minded bitchmoo! It's not part of the nanny's job description to do the fucking housework. Note how most of the other moos are backing her up. Pathetic.

If Moo feels she isn't filling her hours, why not cut back to part-time as the kid's in school now and doesn't need the nanny around then? Or maybe Moo just likes acting the martyr and having something/someone to whine about.

As for the independent consultant, I bet "nanny issues" can be roughly translated to "moos/duhds who expect the nanny to do two jobs for the wages of one".

Sounds like the nanny is acting exactly like a SAHMoo. "But it's so haaaaaaard to take L'il Bastard to schoooooool. I don't have the energy to take out the traaaaaaash."

fuck the nanny. Times are tough right now people, I STILL haven't found a job! If they want her to take out the goddamn trash, she needs to shut the fuck up and take out the trash. Or, leave and find another job - whatever. Gotta take what you can right now. I find the story to make her out to be spoiled, but remember, there are always two sides, and we haven't heard the nanny's side.

While I do think the moo is a pathetic ass for needing a nanny, I would have to say that it sounds like this nanny person is trying to become the old wedge between wife and hubby. I'd get rid of her ass pronto.

Hubby is afraid of confrontation from the nanny? He's probably banging her.

Mmm yes, very good observation KFLL, and highly probable.

So, what is the unemployment rate for nannies??

A) what was in the WRITTEN contract?

nanny is mommy actually

C) Just another weak-spined moo.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Quote
Portiabella
Sounds like the nanny is acting exactly like a SAHMoo. "But it's so haaaaaaard to take L'il Bastard to schoooooool. I don't have the energy to take out the traaaaaaash."

I was thinking exactly the same thing. She just keeps getting lazier and lazier, much like the SAHMoos, and is so involved in her own feelings and needs that she can't see it. There shouldn't be any "problems" regarding what is expected of the nanny, or not expected, unless the parents didn't make it crystal clear, IN WRITING and in the very beginning what the job entailed and what the compensation would be. It's foolish to hire a long term nanny (or ANY independent contractor) and not have these things known, discussed, and agreed upon up front, as well as the changing duties and the pay/benefits that will (or not) go along with it. This moocow needs to sit down and put in writing what she now expects the nanny to do as a part of her job and make a wage offer. Then, she needs to present it to the nanny with an attitude of "You have always done a good job with Shitford, but our needs have changed. We hope that you can agree to these new terms". Then, the ball is in the nanny's court.



It doesn't take a "Nanny consultant" to do any of this and my guess is that if she PAID the nanny the consultant fee that she had planned on wasting, then the nanny probably would start doing more, but that's just me. I have a feeling that she has heaved TONS of extra work on her like, "event planner, child psychologist, maid, caterer, chef, accountant, etc.... "(like SAHMoos whine about) with NO extra compensation and with a shitty attitude to boot. When I used to baybee sit as a teen, I treated each famblee like a customer. They were told UP FRONT what my fee was, that it doubled after 2 AM, that I would follow their instructions about their kyds but if they became abusive that I WOULD lock them in their rooms. I had one who ALWAYS got locked in as he would bite, throw dishes at my head, try and burn me with a fire poker, etc.... but they didn't seem to care and even installed an exterior bolt on the little bastard's bedroom door AND window. I got paid an extra $5 whenever he had to get chased, captured, and locked up, which was frequently.



They also knew UP FRONT that their home would be in the same condition (or slightly better) than they had left it and while I would wash up a sink of dishes or fold a dryer load of clothes, I would NOT clean their fucking houses like a mini-maid service. I don't think that cleaning up messes that they have made before nanny got there should be included in the job description UNLESS there is compensation AND the nanny agrees to it. All that she should be expected to do for "nanny wages" is maintain the home in the same manner in which she found it. If I could handle my little "business" at age 13, then I don't understand what these GROWN women can't come to some sort of an agreement. The whole thing is really ridiculous (and painfully typical) IMO. I might add that I was ALWAYS in demand and that the famblees (moomies) paid up and didn't hassle me about my fees.This is both the nanny AND the moomie's faults and getting a new nanny will only bring new problems. She basically just needs to pay the woman a wage that is on par with her job duties and the "problem" will likely be probably be miraculously "solved".

Yea, the minute I read that she went to the hubby crying about it, I thought the same thing... :sx Someone needs to fire little miss Nanny or we're gonna have a "Hand that Rocks the Cradle" sitch.

Am I correct in assuming that WOH FT means they both work out of the home full time? AND they have a nanny for their ONE child? Seems to me they just have more fucking money than they know what to do with.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me