Duh shows off Fuck-Trophy on Commuter Rail

Some of you may recall the happy news that my truck was in an accident and went to the shop for repairs. Although I had a rental vehicle for the duration, I got the truck back last week and returned the rental, only to discover that the shop didn't fix the damaged rear axle. Therefore, I have had the dubious pleasure of taking public transportation to work this week. I hate the commuter rail because it's dirty, crowded, and uncomfortable, not to mention expensive unless you have a monthly pass. The first train inbound leaves at 5:35 am, which is not that crowded. Yesterday, I caught the 4:10 pm outbound, which is technically the first "rush hour" train.

The way the seating works, is that there are 2 or 3 different types of floor-plans. I prefer to sit close to the exit at either end, as long as I'm not facing the opposite direction of travel, as I get a little motion-sickness riding backwards. One of the floor-plans includes two banks of fold-down seats arranged single-file in a side-ways orientation to the direction of travel at either end of the train-car. I like these because there are clear demarcations of the personal space afforded to each respective occupant: there is a small gap between each seat. It would be socially unacceptable for someone to expect to squeeze in between. I also take one of these seats that is up against the wall (and therefore closest to the exit) so that I only have to sit next to one douchebag instead of between two. I have had my share of fellow passengers' elbows in my crotch/abdomen and holding their umbrellas and laptops so they can spread out more comfortably.

But, I digress.

Shortly after I got on, this clueless, tattooed Duh and 2-3yo Golden Boy Fuck Trophy board the train and sit in the nearest "regular" seat - a 2-seater with a window facing BACKWARDS to the direction of travel. This put them about 7 or 8 feet away from me. There were other people sitting in the fold-down seats; I'm doing my best to maintain my cat-butt-face



while reading my book. Soon after the train starts moving (thus insuring a captive audience), Duh-Tatties starts instigating Fuck-Trophy to screech, squeal, shriek - not the over-tired, over-stimulated "WAH-WAH" cry, but the high-pitched, fingernails-on-chalkboard cry that is loosely translated as "Applause Expected". Every time the train slowed down or came to a stop, the kyd would either pause to take a breath or would start babbling in a more civilized volume, then the train would start moving again, and back to "SCREECH! SQUEAL! SHRIEK!" Each time it got less loud, I would start reading my book again, and each time I was jolted out of my reverie by "SCREECH! SQUEAL! SHRIEK!" I look over and Duh-Tatties is encouraging Fuck-Trophy to JUMP on the seat, look out the window, etc. A couple of times he brought Fuck-Trophy over to the window on the exit-door and once attempted to cross through to the other train-car, presumably for entertainment purposes. So they go back to their seat... there's a middle-aged moo-mare type sitting across the aisle from them nodding approvingly, making goo-goo eyes and giving that dopey smiley-face, you guys know what I mean. Fuck Trophy still "SCREECH! SQUEAL! SHRIEK!" so I say to myself, "Fuck it", put my book away, and plug my ears with my fingers. Duh-Tatties gets up, WALKS (as opposed to CARRIES) Fuck-Trophy over to the vestibule door, and lets him "SCREECH! SQUEAL! SHRIEK!" right NEXT to me, I assume as punishment for DARING to put my fingers in my ears. After a couple minutes of that, they both went through the door and didn't return, so I assume they went to share the love with the passengers in the next car, and I took my fingers out of my ears.

I should be getting my (really repaired this time) truck back today.

The End.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Bleah...and that is why I hate public transportation.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

My biggest annoyance on the commuter rails the last 10 years or so was not encountering little kyds but all those annoying adults yakking loud on their cell phones. Thankfully, I have not had to ride any trains for the last 3 months since I retired.

I detest public transportation and have only been on one bus and one 'train' (in Atlanta) my entire life. I adore flying as my dad is a pilot and we used to own a small Cessna. However, kids are insufferable on larger planes so I don't do much traveling unless it's in my sports car, the Harley, my horse or my truck.

I'm glad you're getting your truck back, that trip must've been pure HELL. I concur the kids' handler was punishing you. Maybe next time try actually saying something next time they purposefully get in your damn face. "Excuse me, I just had ear surgery and the shrieking is extremely painful". What a cock-sucker. And WE'RE the insensitive ones.

I hope it was some consolation to think that he's stuck with that little Einstein 24/7, and cannot go home and just read a good book, in a quiet and peaceful home, as you can. Ugh!

Ha, I was thinking about what to write when I posted about it here.

I got the impression that there were too many other passengers who would have supported Duh-Tatties and his pwecious Fuck-Trophy.

When they finally left the area, I saw some other people try to use the seat they had vacated, only to pass it up due to the fact that Fuck-Trophy's shoes had been all over it and made a mess.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

That's my regular "Don't sit next to me" look. I wish there was some way I could make myself visibly repulsive that was temporary and socially acceptable.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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poofy_puff
That's my regular "Don't sit next to me" look. I wish there was some way I could make myself visibly repulsive that was temporary and socially acceptable.

Drooling helps, so does reeking of liquor.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Fake boogers? Fake oozing sores? Naaaah, Moos and Duhds never seem to notice issues linked to hygiene.

Nothing worse than a brat-stalking breeder asshole on public transportation!

On my flight from LAX to JFK yesterday, I endured a moo baybee-stalking her toadler up and down the aisle in first class while she cooed to it trying to get others to admire her shitmachine. She was so loud that you could hear her over the jet engines AND the movie. After she refused to sit down to allow the flight attendant to do the meal service, the flight attendant told her to sit down or else.

I just wanted to strangle the stupid twat and throw her brat down the nearest lavatory, but why inconvenience dozens of passengers just for that stupid whore?!

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Feh


Drooling helps, so does reeking of liquor.

I don't want to drool, but I'll try reeking of Irish Whiskey and see if that helps. I don't think anything will work...

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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poofy_puff

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Feh


Drooling helps, so does reeking of liquor.

I don't want to drool, but I'll try reeking of Irish Whiskey and see if that helps. I don't think anything will work...

I hear if you drink enough Irish Whiskey, the drool comes naturally. I know for certain that if you drink enough, the vomit comes quite readily. Try dabbing some behind the ears, so the scent goes directly in the air without having to pass through the filter of your throat....whiskey I mean. Dabbing vomit behind your ears would probably provide a good deal of scent-sation as well.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

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poofy_puff
That's my regular "Don't sit next to me" look. I wish there was some way I could make myself visibly repulsive that was temporary and socially acceptable.

All you have to do is slump over, put your head askew, pop your eyes, and grin eerily at the child. After a short while, pat the empty seat next to you while grinning and nodding at the child. Try not to blink. Make uuurrgh uurrgh noises while you're doing it. Ten seconds of that and Dad & Co will be out the nearest door and down the platform in an instant. You can then 'snap out of it' suddenly, sit up straight, smile naturally and sigh happily, 'like a breath of fresh air'. Cross your legs, get comfy, glance round at your fellow commuters and smartly snap open a copy of the newspaper for a nice quiet comfortable journey.

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

twitch. and snort with your nose as if you are getting ready to spit

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Hee. I discovered the perfect way to empty a seat next to me: a disposable camera. Or more specifically a reloaded one.

Take lots of pictures of whoever you wish to leave. Take your time setting up shots, pointing the camera obviously at certain areas of your subject if so desired. Leering grins help too. You wouldn't believe how fast people will take Bratley and exit stage right!

To reuse it all you need to is to pop open the back (can be tricky depending on make), pull the film out of the canister, and respool so it winds and 'clicks' like it usually would. People can figure out it's empty if they don't hear the right sounds.

Best six bucks you'll ever spend.

I've got Tourette's (no, not the kind where you swear uncontrollably- though I do have a mouth like a sailor) and I consider it a blessing. The breeders who drag their loaves on the bus never sit near me if they can help it.

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CFBitchfromLA
After she refused to sit down to allow the flight attendant to do the meal service, the flight attendant told her to sit down or else.

She refused to sit down for the meal service?!? Wow. That's a whole new level of entitlement. Yay, flight attendant!

These are all good suggestions, although I am interested in keeping adults away as well as their fuck-trophies. The camera suggestion was especially good! Fortunately, I don't have to take the train for the rest of the week.

BTW, I can be like an Irish Whiskey sponge on a bad day. Seven shots and the worst thing that happens is I eat a large cheese-steak sub. I wish they made a hard-candy, sort of like a breath-mint, if you will, in the flavour and aroma of Bushmills. I wish they made popsicles of the stuff, except you'd need a freezer @ minus 60... Guess I'll have to stick with huffing ether for now...

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu