A very "adult" question (and I don't just mean over 18)

This is the longest and most bizarre question ever, but bear with me.

I'm curious if anyone here felt that their CF'ness was at all influenced by their sexual preference / tendencies / deviations.

I hate to use the word "deviations", because I'm applying it to myself, so please don't think I mean, "Are you not having kids because you're a crazy rapist???" Rather, is there anyone whose sexual inclinations affected, influenced, or supported their decision not to have kids?

To explain a little more, I have a fetish. It's an unusual fetish, very few people have even heard of it, but there are a few communities for it online. A majority of people who have this fetish also tend to share a specific phobia, and both of these things revolve around bodily functions (the fetish isn't for anything gross, but the phobia is.)

To make it easier, pretend that I have a fetish for cheese. Other people with the cheese fetish, most of them also seem to have a phobia for candy. I get totally revved up watching people eat cheese, talk about cheese, handling cheese, yadda yadda. Well, assuming that the person doing it is someone of the opposite sex, to whom I'm attracted.

Watching someone eat candy is upsetting (regardless of who they are) and the thought of eating candy myself could give me a small panic attack.

Now... while a hot guy eating a piece of cheese would totally make my day, watching a family member eat a piece of cheese would be tantamount to me walking in on them masturbating. It's disgusting, it's completely revolting, the exact opposite of "sexy." Watching a *CHILD* eat a piece of cheese? UGH, don't get me started, I would never stop shuddering, it's just that disgusting to me (because of the sexual association, presumably.)

Unfortunately, children eat a lot of cheese. It's finger food, it's in their sandwiches, it's a snack. So for me, having a child of my own would be horrifying, and spending time dealing with them / listening to them, is stressful because of the potential for them suddenly whipping out some cheese and eating it. YUCK.

On the other hand, I also have this phobia for candy. And let's face it: children LOVE candy. If there's candy around, a kid is around. If a kid is around, there's candy around. And I dread dread dread having to deal with that situation.

I won't suggest that the fetish / phobia combination is solely or even primarily responsible for my decision not to have kids. I just plain don't like them, and that's the root of it. But during the time of my life when I thought I WOULD have kids, simply because that's what all people eventually do, it was a cause of great stress for me.

I'm just curious if anyone else either has a sexual element to their decision?

(Just to clarify, I do not actually have a fetish for cheese, or a phobia for candy. Frankly, considering how readily I can put away candy, that might actually be somewhat helpful.)

I Like large sized ladies, The curvier the better.

BUT I cannot stand pain in others. I could never Consider causing Any Pain to anyone else. And to my mind, making someone Pregnant will be painful to them and to me. I would rather give pleasure, Their Pleasure over Mine.

Giving a boost to them, boosts me. So in a Sense i feed off their good feelings. Pregnancy Removes that Pleasure from their lives and from mine.

Thats One of the Reasons why i am Childfree.

Yes. Because I am extremely sexual at times (and very cold at others) having a child around, with all of their attendant issues is a total turnoff. Considering that I have a mild form of OCD, all things child are a serious obstacle, if you will. The idea of having to tend to a child while living a hedonistic lifestyle does NOT compute for me. I detest need.

Thank you for the thought provoking post.

Thank you for the thoughtful responses!

I definitely do find, now, that exploring the fetishy stuff with my husband is a lot more relaxing, having no kids around. We don't have to be quiet, we don't have to sneak around, we can just enjoy each other. I imagine that goes for even standard run-of-the-mill sex, but -- much like living with one's parents -- having one's own, private domain definitely enhances the experience, and encourages boldness.

I Love it when someone can really Feel and Enjoy Themselves. The inhibition factor is key. I also Cannot perform if Someone is ill. No matter how Much they want to. I feel their Pleasue and that Pleasures me. A slight Voyeuristic Streak in me. I have to see Their Eyes Their Face.

I Like making people FEEL good, My own Petty Physical Needs are Irrelevant to me. Its Their enjoyment that Matters.
I feel their Pain, and IT Hurts me.

To a certain degree, yes. I am somewhat genderqueer, and do not view myself as female. However, I am certainly attracted to men. I don't see myself in a female/maternal/mothering way. While I inhabit a female body spawning is entirely possible.
When I dress or behave like I ought to I feel like a crossdressing imposter.

None of this precludes me from being a nurturing human being. But the thought of making progeny in my own body is abhorrent! I don't think of it as an option to bear a child, and my husband is male also, he can't birth one either. Fortunately he also doesn't desire children.

How very interesting.

Have to say I'm pretty boring in this respect. Totally straight and without special preferences or fetishes.

But to me anything vis-a-vis pregnancy, childbirth, babies, toddlers, kiddies, squicks me out completely. So encounters have to be adult -- no, ADULT, writ large, through and through, before I feel in the mood to engage. Example, if the slightly-retarded toddler upstairs kicked off on one of his many me-me-me hours whilst I was entertaining my man, I would have to call it quits and abandon the flat. I emotionally psychically and physically clamp up at the notion of kiddies of any description.

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

CAPTCHA = PYVEN

Is it time for me to post more photos of my sex-toy collection?

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Someone mentioned something that has always bothered me.

I'm a nurturing person. Without going into great detail, a very important aspect of my fetish involves being nurturing. It has always infuriated me when parents, or people who want kids, try to dismiss or explain-away the desire NOT to have kids by saying, "Well, not everyone can be nurturing."

This makes me IRATE. Like it's only possible to be caring and nurturing, IF you're doing it to a child. Like caring for your partner can't possibly compare.

Just a thought.

You wanna just TELL us what your fetish is, "Without Issue"? I for one am absolutely titillated, and dying to know. If we guess it, will you tell us if it's right or not? To be honest, I have had some guesses, but every time you divulge a new tidbit, my guesses are rendered inaccurate.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Heh.

I don't want to say it out in the open, but if you're curious you can PM, and I'll tell you. I'd be curious to hear what you THINK it is

Well, at first I thought it had something to do with foot massages, but I couldn't figure out the part about the gross bodily function.

I don't have a fetish per se, but there is one drug that I don't do anymore that I think about sometimes when masturbating.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

I've just never been enthusiastic about kids. Add to this a bit of a phobia about money/debt (no doubt caused by my family experience growing up - and to this day) and sprinkle on top of that the fact that my wife and I are both the kind of people who need more space, quiet and "recharge time" than average (or else we get really stressed and unhappy) and it's pretty clear parenthood is not for us!

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eric
I've just never been enthusiastic about kids. Add to this a bit of a phobia about money/debt (no doubt caused by my family experience growing up - and to this day) and sprinkle on top of that the fact that my wife and I are both the kind of people who need more space, quiet and "recharge time" than average (or else we get really stressed and unhappy) and it's pretty clear parenthood is not for us!

this is exactly the same way i feel eric...
i dont know if it counts as a fetish but i use to love injecting myself i just couldnt train unless i injected something even it was just vitamins

A very interesting post.

I have no sexual tendancies that prevent me from wanting children. It's more that I'm just not maternal. But that doesn't mean I'm not caring and nurturing; I only have to see a dog walking along the street or notice that my boyfriend isn't feeling well and I go CRAZY with this desire to hug and love and care for them.

Plus, for about 3 years I was living with a friend of the family cuz my dad kicked me out. I may have mentioned this particular friend has 6 kids. Needless to say any doubts I had about not procreating were well and truly destroyed - Her life was fucking awful trying to control this runaway group of bloody bastards (literally since they all had different dads).

Aint no way in hell I'm letting some little shitball control my entire life.

I know what it is! I know what it is!

Diaper fetish, right, WithoutIssue?

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guest
I know what it is! I know what it is!

Diaper fetish, right, WithoutIssue?

I'm taking it upon myself to tell you: I asked her what it was, and it's not diapers. Personally, I think the real answer is kind of cute (as far as fetishes go), but it is something that a lot of people on this board would think is gross...

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

In my case the CF state is not related to any kind of tendency or deviation, although I think that for some people might be a determinant factor. Among my reasons you can find: love for a particular lifestyle and freedom.

P.S. I feel like poofy puff before, I have been wondering what the fetish can be, intriguing...

i know some furries(yiff piles etc). they are fun people, i know a few bdsm people, from the light to the hard. i know vanilla's. i know cross dressers.

some are cf some are not. i knew one lad, he only liked older women, the older the better, he was 18 and was dating a 50 year old.

a fetish is distinct from cfness. you can have any fetish and have a kid, or be vanilla and have none.

either way it doesnt matter. so long as it hurts no one.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Yep!

I think a more accurate predictor of CF tendencies is not sexuality/practices but temperament - with lesser contributing factors being the extent of one's religious belief, one's susceptibility to family pressure, etc.

Ever notice a lot of Libertarians are CF? I think that's an interesting coincidence...

because they know what they like and go out and get it. its the confidence, and i must admit i do find some of the furries to be sexy..



i am open minded

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Anyone ever catch the furries scene in the Kubrick version of The Shining? It only lasts for a second or so. For some reason, that scene always fascinated me, even before I "got" it.

You mean the part toward the end where Wendy walks in on some guy getting head from someone in a bear costume?

I always wondered what the hell that was all about.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

cadbury's caramel bunny for me ..

check youtube out.. that slow voice so soft.. mmmm..



i think once we know we are cf even subconciously we are free, to do anything we want. and thats exploring ourselves and sexuality.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

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mercurior
i think once we know we are cf even subconciously we are free, to do anything we want. and thats exploring ourselves and sexuality.

Amen to that, wise words merc.