#1339 - Mother's Day

One of the things I hate about Mother's Day is that whenever Catdaddy's birthday falls on a Sunday, it is on Mother's Day. But going out for his birthday on a Sunday is do-able, if we are careful about where we go.

In our experience, breakfast and brunch are the WORST meals to go out for on Moo day. So don't do it! We made this mistake ONCE, and once was enough. The wait for a table is endless, and there are moos, grand-moos, great-grand-moos, and sprogs everywhere.

This is a situation where we take advantage of gender stereotypes. Most sheeple-women would NOT want to be taken out to a place such as a sports bar or a brew pub for Moo day...they want the frou-frou places with the white tablecloths and all. These places get much more packed on Duhd day. But I love sports bars and brew pubs, and so does Catdaddy...as long as he can get a nice thick steak and some good brewskis, he is happy.

This year, his birthday is on a Monday (tomorrow), and I got us tickets to a minor league ballgame on Moo day. None of the local teams were playing at home this weekend. Anyway, we usually end up going to one game or another on Moo day, and we always go for dinner afterwards...and never have had any problems.

This year, it's the Pawtucket Red Sox on Moo day. The one thing that does annoy me is that every dammed ballpark runs a *free flowers for mom* promotion...this means that they hand a flower to anyone who appears to be in possession of a uterus. I always turn down the flower, even though I could accept it as a catmommy. But I don't want anyone to think that I might actually be a moo.

But sometimes the flower-hander-outers get all offended by my not taking it...as if to say, *how can you NOT be a mom?* Just because I am female and married does NOT automatically make me a mother, for fuck's sake! I hate it, it makes me feel uncomfortable, and I really wish they'd do away with these promotions.

I know it's a cop-out, but the last time, I told them I was allergic to flowers, and they accepted that.

Other than that, I like going to games on Moo day, because most of the moos and sprogs of the world are out doing some frou-frou *girly* thing for moo. The only moms you really see at a ballpark on this day are the ones that really like baseball.

Final rant: as much as I use the gender stereotypes here to our advantage, they still annoy me. I hate the ads for gifts that *all* women are supposed to want for Moo day...usually jewelry from some stupid maul chain store...BO-RING! I am not a big jewelry person, but when I do buy it, I like original, hand-made pieces that you can't buy at the chain stores.

I'd prefer to get the gifts advertised for Duhd day...electronics, sports tickets, and other cool, FUN stuff!

I remember last year we went out to eat on Mother's day. We went to my favorite Mexican restaurant, at about 3 pm. It wasn't crowded at all. You're right about most moos wanting to go to fancy places. You might want to try that, if you are fans of Mexican food.

Mexican food sounds good. Btw, I agree with catmommy. I only like jewerly, I or my mom can handmake by ourselves. Other than that, I hate jewerly. Why must they always think all women want jewerly? Damnit, I'm wanting a labtop, not some waste of money.

Also, I hate how they ASSume that if you go out on mothers day, too, and happen to be female and married DOES NOT MEAN I AM A MOTHER. I'M CHILDFREE. I agree with that complaint also.

Well, now that I don't have a Mom anymore, I don't need to worry about that. Though I did hate (like you said) the way everyone assumes all females of a certain age are moms.

I'm thankfully still young enough that people ask me what I'm doing for my mother on Mother's Day. ("Trying to not strangle her" is the correct answer.)

Catmommy -

I used to hate going to church on Mother's Day, because many churches
hand out flowers to all women, assuming that they are all mothers, and many ministers preach sermons about Mother's Day. I've skipped some Mother's Day services.

But I was lucky last year. DH and I started attending a new church in the fall of 2004. We became friends with our minister and educated him about why we were CF. He was starting to understand from us that not every couple or person feels called to parenthood. So, for Mother's Day, he asked that "every lady" - not "every mother" - be given flowers (the children in the church pass them out during the service). And in his sermon, he didn't focus on all mothers as saintly women, but acknowledged that there are terrible mothers in the world, and Mother's Day can be painful for those who were raised by bad mothers, those whose loving mothers have died, and those of child-bearing age who don't have children - by choice or not by choice - and feel left out and marginalized on Mother's Day.

Unfortunately, our minister retired last year, and I don't know what our interim minister will do for Mother's Day.


>>Final rant: as much as I use the gender stereotypes here to our advantage, they still annoy me. I hate the ads for gifts that *all* women are supposed to want for Moo day...usually jewelry from some stupid maul chain store...BO-RING! I am not a big jewelry person, but when I do buy it, I like original, hand-made pieces that you can't buy at the chain stores.<<


I dislike many Mother's Day ads, too, and I hate, hate, HATE that stupid ad for Kay Jewelers that shows a mom playing peekaboo with her baby and the dad jumping in front of the kid and holding out a jewelry box that has a diamond pendant inside. All Kay Jewelers ads tend to be very annoying, but this one just grates to me.

I've noticed that in the last 10-15 years or so, expensive gifts like jewelry have been pushed for Mother's Day. I don't remember that being the case when I was child in the 1970s or 80s. The reason why I hate those jewelry ads is that, most of the time, it's the dad buying the jewelry instead of the kids - and I really don't understand why husbands should be expected to cough up expensive gifts for their wives for Mother's Day. The husbands should only buy for their own mothers - I don't get this buying for "the mother of my children."

I don't recall my father buying my mother anything for Mother's Day that was considered to be a gift from him, instead of from my sisters and me. When we were little, he took us to buy cards and maybe small, inexpensive gifts for Mom (paying for them, of course), or we made cards for Mom ourselves. And Dad would pay for lunch out or cook lunch at home himself (he makes good barbecue) so Mom didn't have to cook.

When my sisters and I were older and had allowances and/or part-time jobs, we paid for Mother's Day gifts and lunch at a restaurant ourselves.

A diamond pendant or other jewelry? It never would have occurred to us to buy something like that for Mother's Day, since, as I said, I don't think Mother's Day was the retail-oriented holiday then that it has become today.

I'm lucky that neither my mom nor my mother-in-law expects anything fancy for Mother's Day. My mom lives just an hour away from DH and me, so we'll go to her house after church on Sunday and cook lunch for her - she hates going to restaurants on Mother's Day because of the crowds. DH's mom lives almost four hours away, and all she wants is a card or flowers and a phone call from us for Mother's Day.

I have mostly done work in call centers. I hate Mother's Day and Valentine's Day. I detest it when I am wished a "Happy Mother's Day" just because the caller hears a female voice on the other end of the line. V-Day is also just as bad since the male callers think I am so ready to end my shift to go home to get that Zales bracelet as a gift for having sex with a man.

I hate jewelry as a gift for any occasion. I am the most casually dressed person on the planet. I have some nice jewelry, but it looks really dorky when you don't have the high end clothing to wear with it.

We would do well together, Sherz. I am another on who dresses very casually...except for work due to dress code. I hate high-end clothing and jewelry. If I want jewelry, I will buy it myself rather than use some holiday to get a man to "put out" with a gift.

Medusa, I'm sorry you don't have your mom anymore. My dad died 6 years ago and Father's Day is always a bummer for me.

I would never go out for dinner on mother's day. All the entitlemoos and their loaves out in full swing? Wreaking havoc on everything because it is "their day" - NO THANX!!!!!

Medusa, you and your late-mom will be in my thoughts this Sunday. My mother is wonderful! I wish I could give her the world for Mother's Day -- Rolexes, Cartiers, huge diamonds, fireworks shows, and the like -- to show my appreciation for her. My wise mom said she would not want me to spend money on those things and that my love & appreciation are more than enough...

What is it about that if you (and I) don't wear jewerly, that ppl think that you'll need it as a holiday gift? I'm glad my hubby doesn't think he has to get my jewerly. I agree with Sherz. Besides, I don't dress up often enough to wear the damn things. I'd much rather be compfortable.

My thoughts are with all of you who don't have mom's or dad's to share Mother's and Father's Day with. I lost my mom when I was 20 and my dad when I was 36. India, I love to hear daughter's speak well of their mothers (I know there are some moms out there that don't deserve to be spoken well about.). I had a great relationship with my mom while I had her. I'm sure just knowing you would give her the world is gift enough, and if she has anthing in common with me she would have nothing to wear with a rolex!

I hate the fact that in the U.S., jewelry seems to be the default gift that a man "must" give to a woman no matter what the situation any more. In order to push more product, and get more profits, the jewlery indurstry has developed the notion of "right hand" rings as well, to show the world that you can take care of yourself, or some such bullshit (http://www.adiamondisforever.com/hot/).

The whole chain jewlery industry makes me want to vomit, the people who must gather the metal and stones work under horrific conditions, the "tradition" and worth of these trinkets is a totally fake construct and just the whole notion that one must spend, Spend, SPEND to prove their "love" is just gross. Diamonds have only been a "traditional" wedding thing for maybe 70 years, the main reason they came about as something a man MUST get a woman as a "symbol" of their "holy bond" is advertising by diamond companies wanting to sell more product. Most diamonds in the world are owned by 1 company, making it much much easier for their worth to be falsely inflated. And well, how does buying anything prove one's love for another person? Yes, it proves you can either save money, or have credit, but how that equals respect, love and caring is beyond me.

Some of the most horrifically superficial and completely misleading advertising comes from these chain jewlery stores. We've got Kesslers Diamonds where I live, most of their ads focus on how "every woman" wants a dimaond because she "knows in her heart" how a beautiful diamond proves just how much you love her. I believe they were also responsible for the billboard advertising that started out with a plain billboards stating "She's lying" and a couple weeks later they added "about wanting a vacuum cleaner for Valentine's day", because of course, we all know that every woman wants a diamond and if she says she doesn't, well she must be lying because she can't even possibly begin to know what she wants or needs.

Then there's the wonderful women of my mom's side of the family. Every christmas it's like a fucking gold rush. They all take turns showing me the jewlery they got from their husbands or financees, and I'm supposed to sit there and go "ooh you're so lucky" without even offering a napkin so they can wipe the blood off (seriously, I did that one year and got a severe talking to from my mom- I'm not allowed to bring up how that jewlery got to the midwest). Then, I guess I'm supposed to bemoan the fact that my S.O. is a horrible horrible person who only gets me things I actually want and can use for christmas. At least that's the type of look I get when it's my turn to share. I'm pretty sure one of these years I'll be asked if he beats me on top of not getting me any expensive jewlery.

Everybody is so materialistic. I'm sick of other people setting the "standards" by which others should live.

Shit like expensive jewelry = love. Sorry, but that's not my standard.

The consumer culture is setting the standards. And people fall for it, over and over again.
Those fucking Kay Jewelers commercials are driving me crazy. The stupid song, "Every kiss begins with Kay." It sounds like young children singing it. See the one with four kids playing instruments in the garage for the moomy and the duh whips out the diamond gift?

Diamonds aren't even that rare. Good emeralds and alexandrite are much more rare. I admit that I like jewelry, but not chain mall diamond jewelry. I like Murano glass, jade, amber, Tibetan pieces and other jewelry that's more unique....

It's not only for Mother's Day these damn jewlery companies advertise for. I hate it during Christmas you see thes damn advertisement everywhere.

Oh, Nour, I HATE that commercial. All of the Kay commercials suck. I especially hate the one where the kids are spying on their dad giving moo some diamondy trinket, and the one kid says, "I think they're gonna kiss." I think it would be funnier if dad then yelled out, "Are you g*ddamn kids out there spying on us again? Get the hell up to bed! I paid good money for this damn diamond, and I want to finally get a piece of your mother!"

Your pretty funny Sherz!