Catmommy -
I used to hate going to church on Mother's Day, because many churches
hand out flowers to all women, assuming that they are all mothers, and many ministers preach sermons about Mother's Day. I've skipped some Mother's Day services.
But I was lucky last year. DH and I started attending a new church in the fall of 2004. We became friends with our minister and educated him about why we were CF. He was starting to understand from us that not every couple or person feels called to parenthood. So, for Mother's Day, he asked that "every lady" - not "every mother" - be given flowers (the children in the church pass them out during the service). And in his sermon, he didn't focus on all mothers as saintly women, but acknowledged that there are terrible mothers in the world, and Mother's Day can be painful for those who were raised by bad mothers, those whose loving mothers have died, and those of child-bearing age who don't have children - by choice or not by choice - and feel left out and marginalized on Mother's Day.
Unfortunately, our minister retired last year, and I don't know what our interim minister will do for Mother's Day.
>>Final rant: as much as I use the gender stereotypes here to our advantage, they still annoy me. I hate the ads for gifts that *all* women are supposed to want for Moo day...usually jewelry from some stupid maul chain store...BO-RING! I am not a big jewelry person, but when I do buy it, I like original, hand-made pieces that you can't buy at the chain stores.<<
I dislike many Mother's Day ads, too, and I hate, hate, HATE that stupid ad for Kay Jewelers that shows a mom playing peekaboo with her baby and the dad jumping in front of the kid and holding out a jewelry box that has a diamond pendant inside. All Kay Jewelers ads tend to be very annoying, but this one just grates to me.
I've noticed that in the last 10-15 years or so, expensive gifts like jewelry have been pushed for Mother's Day. I don't remember that being the case when I was child in the 1970s or 80s. The reason why I hate those jewelry ads is that, most of the time, it's the dad buying the jewelry instead of the kids - and I really don't understand why husbands should be expected to cough up expensive gifts for their wives for Mother's Day. The husbands should only buy for their own mothers - I don't get this buying for "the mother of my children."
I don't recall my father buying my mother anything for Mother's Day that was considered to be a gift from him, instead of from my sisters and me. When we were little, he took us to buy cards and maybe small, inexpensive gifts for Mom (paying for them, of course), or we made cards for Mom ourselves. And Dad would pay for lunch out or cook lunch at home himself (he makes good barbecue) so Mom didn't have to cook.
When my sisters and I were older and had allowances and/or part-time jobs, we paid for Mother's Day gifts and lunch at a restaurant ourselves.
A diamond pendant or other jewelry? It never would have occurred to us to buy something like that for Mother's Day, since, as I said, I don't think Mother's Day was the retail-oriented holiday then that it has become today.
I'm lucky that neither my mom nor my mother-in-law expects anything fancy for Mother's Day. My mom lives just an hour away from DH and me, so we'll go to her house after church on Sunday and cook lunch for her - she hates going to restaurants on Mother's Day because of the crowds. DH's mom lives almost four hours away, and all she wants is a card or flowers and a phone call from us for Mother's Day.