Some stunning parents: Hospital Edition

Some snippets from AllNurses.com - all are stories from one person and from the same hospital:

• Do not get two women pregnant at the same time. Especially do not let these two women be sisters. When they both go into pre-term labor, do not bring them both to the same hospital. At said hospital, do not leave and allow them to meet up in the nursery to cuddle your babies and discover that they share more than genetics in common. When you return, and they start slapping each other with a baby in their arms, do not cheer one over the other, or encourage ANYONE to "beat her ****ing fat ***", especially if the "her" you are referring to is the one who you are presently living with. Do not laugh when one of them hits the nurse and gives her a bloody lip as she tries to break up the fight.

• Do not get HIV from your current partner and then get impregnated by your former partner without telling him that having sex with you is going to kill him. Do not have a baby then forget to tell the doctors that you have a deadly disease, allowing them to discover this in four months when it is too late to treat the baby effectively. Do not then let your former partner impregnate his CURRENT girlfriend, thus forming a sick quadrangle of HIV infection that only two people know about.

• Do not wait until your NICU nurse has left the room so that you can whip out a rusty knife and begin sawing into your new baby's Morphine drip before she returns. Do not place your mouth anywhere near the newly-sawed IV tubing and begin drinking the Morphine. Do not, under any circumstances, pretend that you weren't doing this when the nurse returns, and absolutely do not claim that "that sh** was like that" when you came in.

• Do not get so ****** off at the nurses that you decide to unhook your two pound preemie from his/her leads and put him/her inside your coat pocket and attempt to take him/her home with you.

• Do not decide that your baby is hungry when he/she is on NEC precautions and, upset that we aren't feeding your baby, decide to sneak a Coca-Cola onto the unit and feed it to your child with a syringe you found on a supply cart.

• When your baby has had open heart surgery and has his/her chest still open, do not put your finger "in there" because you wanted to "feel it".


Man, I'd really like to hope most of these people had their children taken from them following these incidences.

Jeebus!

But don't forget: breeders are better than we are.

Oh, the stories I could tell from my nursing days....holy fuck....talk about the worst humanity has to offer...

I got out of active nursing practice years ago, and I do not miss it. I am still licensed to practice if I ever had to, but I definitely would not go back into trauma, emergency or surgical nursing ever again.

Yeah, I hope these kyds got taken away, too. All I can say about these breeders is

but doncha know motherhood gives you a superbrain.. multitask and allows you to do everything be a doctor, a electrician and every other job in teh world..


(sarcasm mode off)

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

All of these made me go WTF... The last one especially. Jesus fucking Christ... :crz

When I was 13,my brother was in the Children's hospital. We were sharing a room with a woman who had been feeding her baby formual straight out of a can and almost killed it. She offered to let me take her baby home with me. I was 13 years old. My mom just laughed about it, but I now think about where that baby is today, or if he even survived such a horrible mom.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

When my neice was getting her tonsils out and was staying on the childrens ward, there was another kid around ten yrs old also on the ward. This kid was getting her tonsils out the next day too and was there fore nil by mouth.

The kids mother and older sister opened up a carrier bag and spilled the contents on the kids bed. In it was sandwiches, crisps(chips?), chocolate bars and other stuff like that. They ate right in front of her. At one point the kid grabbed a piece of chocolate and the mother had to wrestle it from her.

Somebody got the nurse or the nurse noticed, and she went over to tell off the mother. The mother objected but the nurse stood firm. It was more mouth-dropping than evil but still.

not baby related but here is another snippet

One I learned from a patient many years ago: If you are male - don't try to repair the vacuum cleaner in the nude - especially if it is equipped with a "beater brush"!

hehehehhehe

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Yes, so many people become nurses because they like to "help people". Little do they know they kind of people they will need to "help". Good Lord, I'd never want to be a nurse. Bless you, CFBitch, for even being able to do something like that. I couldn't imagine...

Indeed - bless those folks who deal with this shit and still get up for work every day, knowing they willlikely have to deal with even more crazy, ungrateful morons. I think I'd cut a bitch the first time some schmuck called 911 at 4 in the morning needing an ambulance because they're constipated.

I was a CNA for 25 years and while I saw a lot of crazy shit, I never saw the monumental fails such as Cambion mentions...of course I was fortunate enough never to have to work a neonatal, OB or pediatric wards. How anyone can be stupid enough to try to feed a newborn infant out of a formula can is certainlly enough to make me wonder, too. Jeezus Kee-rist! Even as a prepubescent sprog I knew to dilute formula (OK so my da told me about that, but still...it's just common sense that a loaf couldn't deal with that stuff full-strength!). I dealt more with AIDS and cancer patients, along with some elderly, but I just burned out a couple of years ago and after an awful year-and-a-half dealing with breeders at Squal-Mart, my DH had me retire.

Oh, and two cents? Loved the one about not repairing a vacuum cleaner with a beater brush in the nude if you are a dude.larious

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CFBitchfromLA
Oh, the stories I could tell from my nursing days....holy fuck....talk about the worst humanity has to offer...

I got out of active nursing practice years ago, and I do not miss it. I am still licensed to practice if I ever had to, but I definitely would not go back into trauma, emergency or surgical nursing ever again.

Man if we started swapping war stories it could get really Ukly