After you hold her you will want a bunch of babies

My MIL told my husband that after we hold precious ( that is her nickname) we will want a bunch of babies and won't be able to wait to have them.
You know what, I held a baby alligator once, it did not make me want one.
One more lame attempt to try to make us breed.
Why does she think I am going to hold the damn thing?

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

i would buy something fragile cheap.. but get it wrapped up fancy then "drop" it.. and go oops another thing i dropped ah well

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

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mercurior
i would buy something fragile cheap.. but get it wrapped up fancy then "drop" it.. and go oops another thing i dropped ah well

I am going to do that. Thanks for the helpful tip.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

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mercurior
i would buy something fragile cheap.. but get it wrapped up fancy then "drop" it.. and go oops another thing i dropped ah well

(uhoh= "666 gt")


hahhahahahaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

larious larious larious larious larious larious larious

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

luckily i am very clumsy so i dont need to accidentally on purpose do things.. just edit it slightly then they will think oh boy we give bratly to him/her they will drop it.. best is china it makes a satisfying shattering sound..

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Sounds like a baybee's exposed flesh is very TOXIC; it releases enough magical oxytocin to turn the most bloodthirsty child-hating cannibal into a misty-eyed fertile goddess spurting fresh tit milk and unconditional maternal love.

Even worse, it would also make you develop gigantic luscious lips just like those of Angelina Jolie, Octomoo, and Deanna, the unlucky wife of Michael Patterson from For Better Or For Worse if you as much touch a a little tiny piece of living baby meat.

Stay away for your own safety.larious

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Banshee
Sounds like a baybee's exposed flesh is very TOXIC; it releases enough magical oxytocin to turn the most bloodthirsty child-hating cannibal into a misty-eyed fertile goddess spurting fresh tit milk and unconditional maternal love.

Even worse, it would also make you develop gigantic luscious lips just like those of Angelina Jolie, Octomoo, and Deanna, the unlucky wife of Michael Patterson from For Better Or For Worse if you as much touch a a little tiny piece of living baby meat.

Stay away for your own safety.larious

Should be a government warning, inked on the kids head.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

I hold my nephew when he was a baby and I find it OK. The problem is that my mum get all enthusiastic about like me holding a baby makes me want to have a child. Is because holding a child is good it doesn't mean I want the kid.

Oh yeah - I have to pick up the baby/nephew because things like taking him down the stairs and take him out of my bedroom which my bedroom is certainly not child friendly with windows next to my bed and when open in summer the kid can crawl out and drop. I don't care if my nephew drop because my brother shouldn't put his kid in my room at the first place or confortable when the kid is in my room at the first place. I even do not want bodily fluid in my room which never happens and if it does I'll make a topic and rant about it.

Banshee wrote:
"Sounds like a baybee's exposed flesh is very TOXIC; it releases enough magical oxytocin to turn the most bloodthirsty child-hating cannibal into a misty-eyed fertile goddess spurting fresh tit milk and unconditional maternal love."

Banshee - this is one of the strongest/toughest bingo they use - by you holding/pick up a baby/ even touching it or lay a finger on that flesh and Bansee this is how they do it.

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annie35
Why does she think I am going to hold the damn thing?

Exactly! I love how she assumes you just won't be able to resist.

That's right, they're five hours away and expecting you guys to make the long trip and then fawn all over something you've told them time and time again that you're not interested in. Good thing you've developed a will (and stomach) of steel.

Yes, I really like Merc's idea...show up with some crystal or china and drop the shit out of it. HAHA!

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annie35
My MIL told my husband that after we hold precious ( that is her nickname) we will want a bunch of babies and won't be able to wait to have them.
You know what, I held a baby alligator once, it did not make me want one.
One more lame attempt to try to make us breed.
Why does she think I am going to hold the damn thing?

That's assuming you can hand the bag of shit and vomit TO me.

I actually like holding babies. Nothing renews my CF resolve in the face of endless bingos more than being forcefully reminded of how disgusting a squirming little shitsack is.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

Couldn't--and wouldn't-- do it. My skin starts to crawl when I see an infant. The drool, the general oozing from orifices. Ugh. My reply would be, "If I hold your load, it will only reinforce my desire to be forever cf."

That said, I can stomach infants a little better than toadlers. Infants are contained at least. But when they begin to walk. . .yikes. Well, that's when I have to leave the room. . .

My favorite story, brought out on threads like these:

Maybe someone younger can answer - is home ec a course in high school, or has that archaic study been dropped? Anyway, back in the 70s, Home Ec was a requirement for all us females. And - OF COURSE - it was taught by a woman who was set on indoctrinating us in all the 'proper' duties we young women would have to take up when we came of age to marry and become mothers ::: ohhh, getting kind of barfy at the memory::: The early years of HS (home ec was a four year requirement) was spent on such handy things as cooking and sewing -- which I have no quibble with -- our last year was child care. That was a course that came a little late, there were a couple of girls who were mothers by the time they reached their senior year.

My last year of home ec - I tried to get out of that. At 17, I knew I wasn't going to have kids. No amount of arguing; no stating that I would be better off taking an advanced math course or history; would sway the teacher. I had to learn about taking care of damned kids This may be a tangent, but we had sex education and birth control taught to us in that class. This was Arkansas - THE BIBLE BELT - and we had sex education. People may think that what goes on today with the squabbles over those subjects in school has always been that way, but it wasn't. You can trace the beginning of the suppression of those courses to the election of Ronnie Raygun and the rise of the Moral Majority, Eagle Forum and other head-up-the-ass groups. Before that, there was a sense of realism in school. Kids are going to have sex, ergo, they need to be taught responsibility. Even my home ec teacher, earnest Christian lady that she was, hauled out the slide projector and taught us different birth control methods.

So, another part of the child care course was having real live babies brought to class, along with their mothers. They were deputized to tell us about childbirth and early days of motherhood. Tell ya what, if there's anything comparable to a guy telling war stories, it's a woman eager to detail all the gore of childbirth. Most of the girls in class were leaning forward, drinking up what the mother was saying - I had taken a chair in the back of the class and was leaning my head on my best friend's shoulder, trying not to puke. One of the women even pulled down her pants to show us her stretch marks. Actually, I think all that is probably good knowledge and something that today's teens might not be subject to, but man, I had already decided by that point in my life that I was going to pass, so why did I have to see that stuff? ::blerg::

At the end of class, we were rewarded for our attention by Getting to Hold the Baby. I reacted like someone told me I was going to get to hold a King Cobra: backing up and vehemently shaking my head NOOOOO! I kept slipping to the back of the line; the teacher had to reach back and grab my harm, hauling me forward and practically plopping the kid into my grasp.

Oy. It was lumpy, unnaturally warm, smelled funny and wiggly. I was not enjoying the experience, no matter how the teacher chided me to hold it closer to my breast (I was afraid the kid was going to try and grab on! :hs ) and rock it. Funny, though, the kid was noisy and struggling with the other girls but became calm and more compliant with me. I think it's because the others were cooing, jouncing and otherwise being too emphatic with the kid, while I merely held it with enough strength to not let it plop to the floor. I stood and mentally counted "one potato - two potato - when is someone going to take this thing away - four potato - five potato - I'm gonna THROW this if someone doesn't take it out of my arms! - seven potato - eight potato .." With an exasperated look, the teacher took the baby and said "now Dori, that wasn't so bad was it?" I could only respond with wide eyes and stiff shake of my head.

After that, we had to write a paper on the experience, detailing how effective it was in preparing us for motherhood. I was as diligent as I could be about my observations, but emphatically stated as my conclusion: "I did not like hearing about childbirth. I did not think it was fun to hold a baby. This class has given me more resolve that I do not want to have a baby."
I got a 'C'. My teacher pulled me aside later and said that it would have been a 'F' because I didn't show a willingness to be swayed and insulted the mothers who took their time to come talk to us and let us hold their babies, but she knew I had one of the highest grade point averages of my class and would show mercy on me but not pulling it down too far. Bitch. I had brains and was determined to use them, the teacher displayed what she saw as generosity in not fucking it up too badly just because I was not interested in following the path to breederdom

Wow, Dorisan... What a story, thanks for sharing. I started high school in the early 90's and there was still a home ec class, but it was an elective and not FOUR years long. I ducked out of that one, but I'm kind of sorry because I could have used a course in sewing, as I can't sew for shit! I guess that's what adult courses are for.

Dorisan...your story made you sound like a rape survivor - only with moocows, live sprogs, and pushy bitches teachers involved! And it could also be in the militant 1950s the way everyone behaved!

At least the visiting moos didn't bare their tits to squeeze out human milk as a graphic demonstration to you poor girls!:lips

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Banshee
Dorisan...your story made you sound like a rape survivor - only with moocows, live sprogs, and pushy bitches teachers involved! And it could also be in the militant 1950s the way everyone behaved!

~laughs~ More like a version of "The Handmaid's Tale".

RIP to the fine actress who portrayed Offred - Natasha Richardson

Tangent - say what you want about Obama; with his election I have less fear about this country turning into a Republic of Gilead. The prospect of McCain being elected, furthering the anti-female agenda set by the Repugs, gave me the willies

Dorsian, OUCH! That was a pretty lousy Home Ec. class you had there. My Home Ec. class in Junior High (7th and 8th grades) was much better (and they were required and all co-ed). In 7th grade it was cooking and in 8th grade it was sewing, two useful things to know for the rest of your life. I was already pretty good around the kitchen by age 13 but it was good to have more hands-on experience. My mom was into sewing so she was happy to see what I learned and supplement it with her own knowledge and let me use her old sewing machine.

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"I thank god I'm an atheist!" -- Mike "Meathead" Stivic (from All in the Family)

Hey, I had to hold one Friday night at work. Still don't want one. Joked with the doc about needing a benadryl shot afterwords :spin

I took home ec in highschool (this was about 8-9 years ago), because I thought we would be cooking and sewing a lot. I was already good at these things, and wanted to learn more. Boy, was I disappointed. Not only did we not learn shit about cooking and sewing, but most of the class consisted of the 50-something teacher yammering about when her kids were kids, and her grandkids. If it wasn't that, we were made to learn totally impractical things like how to set a fancy table with all the different forks and knives and some such bullshit. Now what were we going to do with that information? How many of us were going to host fancy, upscale dinner parties often enough to warrant this information (if at all)?

We had to learn some fancy manners bullshit. Sounds good at face value, doesn't it? "Manners" consisted of what and what not to do at a dinner party. One rule that she taught us was that if your hostess (never host) served you something you didn't like or were allergic to, you shouldn't say anything, and should eat it anyway, lest you be an ungrateful guest. :kill Yeah.

When it came time to learn about childcare with those stupid dolls, I stood up in class and venemously said, "If I have to take home one of those dolls, I swear to god, I will break the damn thing into a million tiny pieces!" This was after arguing with them on the subject. I hadn't known before I signed up for the class that I would be made to learn childcare. People at school knew my feelings about children, and of my childfree stance, but nobody ever bothered to tell me about that little tidbit of class. I guess they hoped I would change my mind if it was suddenly thrust upon me. They refused to let me drop out of the class, and refused to let me pass on the childcare. So I got myself kicked out. I hated that class, anyway. It was nothing like I expected. Nothing but a waste of time, energy and brainpower.

I've held enough brats to last me a lifetime. Never Again. I don't care if it's Jesus Christ reborn, if someone tries to hand him to me he'll get dropped on his holy head.

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AngryReptileKeeper
One rule that she taught us was that if your hostess (never host) served you something you didn't like or were allergic to, you shouldn't say anything, and should eat it anyway, lest you be an ungrateful guest. :kill Yeah.

So the bitch of your teacher considers a hostess's delicate feelings MORE IMPORTANT than her guest's LIFE?????