Project about the pressure to have children
Posted by Shmonster
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 25, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
Shmonster, I am coming along a little late here, but I figure I'll say a few words.
Look around, a good number of parents out there are there because they either did not think or had an accident. Some are just brainwashed breeders, but that's not much of a life either.
You can think, count or debate. Desire to have kids is pure mother nature. Can you see past it? It's not a big deal, it does have rewards and losses. What would you rather have? The choice is yours, I am glad you are thinking about it.
As for me, I think being a kid sucks, being a parent sucks. We are surrounded by breeder media and people who want you to "enjoy the ride" with them. No, thanks.
Look around, a good number of parents out there are there because they either did not think or had an accident. Some are just brainwashed breeders, but that's not much of a life either.
You can think, count or debate. Desire to have kids is pure mother nature. Can you see past it? It's not a big deal, it does have rewards and losses. What would you rather have? The choice is yours, I am glad you are thinking about it.
As for me, I think being a kid sucks, being a parent sucks. We are surrounded by breeder media and people who want you to "enjoy the ride" with them. No, thanks.
Shmonster
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 25, 2009 |
Shmonster
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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pompom
When I was in my early 20's I sought a tubal ligation but the doctor patted me on the head and said that I would change my mind. I didn't. I'm now in my early forties, happily married, and happily child free.
I sometimes wonder about those situations. Do you ever feel like sending the doctor a note saying "told you I wasn't ever going to have kids. Jerk
"?Anonymous User
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
Quote
Shmonster
Pompon thank you for sharing. Actually the decision to have tubal ligation is exactly one of the things I want to discuss in my project! I think the type of reaction you got from the doctor is typical and I think that says a lot about our culture.
My pleasure! I would like to think things have changed. I approached the doctor about the tubal 17 years ago. But you are probably right - they may not have changed that much!
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,852 |
I will repeat myself: I wish folk would let up a bit on doctors. They are confronted by people who, at the moment, have made the decision to be child free, change their minds, and then rank on the doctors for going along with them. As many of us could say 'see? I told you so', there are another bunch who would say 'I'm glad I didn't go thru with it' or 'why did you let me do it?'. doctors are beset by both sides. I guess they figure, better to err on the side of caution: once a tubal ligation is done it is hard to undo. Perhaps someday a more 'decision proof' method will be available.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,269 |
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,223 |
Quote
twocents
I will repeat myself: I wish folk would let up a bit on doctors. They are confronted by people who, at the moment, have made the decision to be child free, change their minds, and then rank on the doctors for going along with them. As many of us could say 'see? I told you so', there are another bunch who would say 'I'm glad I didn't go thru with it' or 'why did you let me do it?'. doctors are beset by both sides. I guess they figure, better to err on the side of caution: once a tubal ligation is done it is hard to undo. Perhaps someday a more 'decision proof' method will be available.
When I was researching sterilization options online, I noticed that there are about ten articles about tubal ligation reversal to every article about the tubal. This whiny but vocal minority of regretful breeders is making it harder to have it done if you don't have at least a few kids already. What really pisses me off is reading these articles about women who had tubals after four or five kids, but then get all broody again a few years later and just have to have ANOTHER one. And these doctors will bend over backwards to help them!!
Gigabyte
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
Shmonster, I like your site. I am a regular guest of this forum. I first time found out about this is from the happy childfree site. When I was a kid all I taught and her hear is that how I should get married and have kids (usual BS lifescript). Because all of my cousins got married and got kids and my family are useless because we don't have kids, but they don't realise that is because you don't have kids it doesn't mean it is sad. Friends, familes and society thinks that kids makes you saint and holy - it doesn't. Now me - in general I am a failed gender specimen. What that means is this: when my mum wanted a baby girl but unfortunatly I came out a boy instead and my mum is sad becuase I am not a girl, I'm a boy/man instead. Ever since I learn about Childfree by choice, I always thank the holy lord that I am a man but not a woman (I hope I am not offending CF women if they read this) and I tell you why. This is because my mum is a pro-life religious fundie and her friends are pure christian and what that means is this: if I got knocked up by mistake or worse - victim of Rape. Let me tell you something - I can kiss abortion goodbye that's for sure and even so I got raped on the street and got pregnant, I still have to go thorugh all this 9 months of labour, disfigure my body and put up with 18+ years of burden. My mum will never go for abortion that it pure simple.
Gigabyte
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
I like children and kids but I choose not to have kids becuase I do not want to alter my lifestyle and I am not fit to have kids, having kid will make me mentally ill due to all the hard work. Now this sound like a fair enough reasons but unfortunatly the society do not respect our legitamite reasons, they still incist us to have kids regardless if we are rich or poor & sick or health, even life and death. Did you know that petty reasons for not having kids (eg. money, burden, hard work) are the most genuine reasons than major reasons not to have kids.
I agree with 2 cents knowlege because she observes just like me. I live in North London where there are a hell alot of teen-mum. Let me tell you something, these teen-mum think they are some-what heroes or brave. They have no shame of a child having a child. What I see on the streets are the pretend smile on parent's face, they have miserable sad faces that they have to put up with every single days in their lives. Society see CF as kid haters, pedo, child killers, but that is BULLSHIT. People thinks priests and having kids makes you all saint again - BULLSHIT. Only priests and breeders are childkillers, kid-rapists, pedo because all I hear on the news that all the child deaths, child-rapes are 20% are from priests and 80% are from parents. I don't do not see and not even 1 case that a Childfree person does child-killing, rape or pedo. I even google deep for any child case cause by CF folks and I found aboslutly ZERO - PURE ZERO.
I agree with 2 cents knowlege because she observes just like me. I live in North London where there are a hell alot of teen-mum. Let me tell you something, these teen-mum think they are some-what heroes or brave. They have no shame of a child having a child. What I see on the streets are the pretend smile on parent's face, they have miserable sad faces that they have to put up with every single days in their lives. Society see CF as kid haters, pedo, child killers, but that is BULLSHIT. People thinks priests and having kids makes you all saint again - BULLSHIT. Only priests and breeders are childkillers, kid-rapists, pedo because all I hear on the news that all the child deaths, child-rapes are 20% are from priests and 80% are from parents. I don't do not see and not even 1 case that a Childfree person does child-killing, rape or pedo. I even google deep for any child case cause by CF folks and I found aboslutly ZERO - PURE ZERO.
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,207 |
"I will repeat myself: I wish folk would let up a bit on doctors. They are confronted by people who, at the moment, have made the decision to be child free, change their minds, and then rank on the doctors for going along with them. As many of us could say 'see? I told you so', there are another bunch who would say 'I'm glad I didn't go thru with it' or 'why did you let me do it?'. doctors are beset by both sides. I guess they figure, better to err on the side of caution: once a tubal ligation is done it is hard to undo. "
Not all doctors are bad, and my ire is selective. When I was looking for a tubal ligation, all I ever wanted was a doctor who considered facts* and my medical history before denying me a tubal ligation. Make no mistake, a tubal ligation is permanent, but it is also appropriate treatment in some cases.
* The CDC did a comprehensive study of tubal ligation regret rates. Who had the highest regret rates? Breeders. We've all seen the scenario: Too-fertile Bubbette meets Bubba. Because she can't figure out the birth control, she cranks out 3 or 4 kids in short order. They don't have any $ and their marriage sucks because they bred kids they can't afford. They hate each other and their lives. Because they already have too many kids they can't afford and their lives are already ruined by unplanned pregnancies, they have no trouble finding a doctor to sterilize Moo. By this time, it's too late for the marriage, so they get divorced. Moo gets child support and things aren't so bad. She loses a bunch of post-baybee weight and attracts a New Man. Suddenly, she MUST cement this new relationship with an anchor baybee. She is absolutely distraught at not being able to conceive, plus her New Mayn is insisting that she spawn for him.
And so another Internet Sob story of the horrors of tubal ligation is born.
I believe the second highest regret rate was the 30 and under crowd.
The group with the LOWEST regret rates? People who had no children. That's right, yet doctors routinely refuse to provide tubal ligations on people without children. They are ignoring the facts, and they should be taken to task for it.
I tried to find this study a few months ago. I found another study that said essentially the same thing, but the authors put a caveat into it: Use clips, which can be reversed but can cause complications like bleeding or failure, on any woman who gets a tubal ligation, because she could change her mind. Wrong conclusion, Daddy-Doctors.
There used to be a formula for sterilization in the 1950's and 1960's. It was well-known and taught in medical school. The formula went like this: get to the number 120, and a woman could be sterilized. In other words, if Bubbette was 30 with 4 kids, she could be sterilized. If a woman had two kids, she could be sterilized when she was 60. If she were CF, she could be sterilized when she was 120 years old.
Ironically, Margaret Sanger and the early feminists were responsible for dismantling this formula from medicine. That was when feminists were really feminists, and they wanted appropriate medical care for women. Contrast that with many feminists today, who don't give a shit about reproductive rights, which by definition includes the right not to have children at all.
"Reproductive rights" to most feminists today means the right to have publicly-funded IVF, even when you are poor and can't support the kids you already have, the right to whip out your norks anytime, anywhere, and the right to have the Gubmint pay for your daycare.
Not all doctors are bad, and my ire is selective. When I was looking for a tubal ligation, all I ever wanted was a doctor who considered facts* and my medical history before denying me a tubal ligation. Make no mistake, a tubal ligation is permanent, but it is also appropriate treatment in some cases.
* The CDC did a comprehensive study of tubal ligation regret rates. Who had the highest regret rates? Breeders. We've all seen the scenario: Too-fertile Bubbette meets Bubba. Because she can't figure out the birth control, she cranks out 3 or 4 kids in short order. They don't have any $ and their marriage sucks because they bred kids they can't afford. They hate each other and their lives. Because they already have too many kids they can't afford and their lives are already ruined by unplanned pregnancies, they have no trouble finding a doctor to sterilize Moo. By this time, it's too late for the marriage, so they get divorced. Moo gets child support and things aren't so bad. She loses a bunch of post-baybee weight and attracts a New Man. Suddenly, she MUST cement this new relationship with an anchor baybee. She is absolutely distraught at not being able to conceive, plus her New Mayn is insisting that she spawn for him.
And so another Internet Sob story of the horrors of tubal ligation is born.
I believe the second highest regret rate was the 30 and under crowd.
The group with the LOWEST regret rates? People who had no children. That's right, yet doctors routinely refuse to provide tubal ligations on people without children. They are ignoring the facts, and they should be taken to task for it.
I tried to find this study a few months ago. I found another study that said essentially the same thing, but the authors put a caveat into it: Use clips, which can be reversed but can cause complications like bleeding or failure, on any woman who gets a tubal ligation, because she could change her mind. Wrong conclusion, Daddy-Doctors.
There used to be a formula for sterilization in the 1950's and 1960's. It was well-known and taught in medical school. The formula went like this: get to the number 120, and a woman could be sterilized. In other words, if Bubbette was 30 with 4 kids, she could be sterilized. If a woman had two kids, she could be sterilized when she was 60. If she were CF, she could be sterilized when she was 120 years old.
Ironically, Margaret Sanger and the early feminists were responsible for dismantling this formula from medicine. That was when feminists were really feminists, and they wanted appropriate medical care for women. Contrast that with many feminists today, who don't give a shit about reproductive rights, which by definition includes the right not to have children at all.
"Reproductive rights" to most feminists today means the right to have publicly-funded IVF, even when you are poor and can't support the kids you already have, the right to whip out your norks anytime, anywhere, and the right to have the Gubmint pay for your daycare.
Gigabyte
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
Also on the side note. Society sees kids a short term investment instead of long-term investments. The short term investment is seeing the baby cute innocent, gift from god & mircale stuff (Ages 0-3).
But they don't think about the long term investment: - Ages 3-5 when they find a suitable school; ages 5-10 - learn to dicipline in school; ages 11-12 pubic age when the hormones start to kick in; ages 13-19 - during their teens they might end up getting knocked up and get pregnant of if it is a boy the boy end up being a ASBO sex maniac.
All this you have to consider all the long term and you have to discipline the child from age 0-18+ or else you end getting F-ed up. Also you have to be willing to endure all those burdens, money and time when the child grows up and put the kid into the right dircection
But they don't think about the long term investment: - Ages 3-5 when they find a suitable school; ages 5-10 - learn to dicipline in school; ages 11-12 pubic age when the hormones start to kick in; ages 13-19 - during their teens they might end up getting knocked up and get pregnant of if it is a boy the boy end up being a ASBO sex maniac.
All this you have to consider all the long term and you have to discipline the child from age 0-18+ or else you end getting F-ed up. Also you have to be willing to endure all those burdens, money and time when the child grows up and put the kid into the right dircection
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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twocents
I will repeat myself: I wish folk would let up a bit on doctors. They are confronted by people who, at the moment, have made the decision to be child free, change their minds, and then rank on the doctors for going along with them. As many of us could say 'see? I told you so', there are another bunch who would say 'I'm glad I didn't go thru with it' or 'why did you let me do it?'. doctors are beset by both sides. I guess they figure, better to err on the side of caution: once a tubal ligation is done it is hard to undo. Perhaps someday a more 'decision proof' method will be available.
So? Patient regret isn't the doctor's concern if he/she has laid out all the cards. I speak from my Dh's experience in getting snipped (back in 1985). He had to go through two consultations and then sign a shit-load of forms saying that he knew this was a procedure that would render him sterile, was not likely to be reversed, and would not hold the doctor responsible later. Had Dh later expressed regret (ha! not while married to me, he wouldn't!) the doctor could have shrugged and laid out the signed consent forms.
Perhaps in the past, when the choice to not have kids was practically a hangin' offense, the doctors had cause to worry. Today, statistics show that a greater number of people are falling on the No Kids side of the fence with no regret. If a person requests the procedure, has an understanding of the ramifications and gone through cogent decision making about it, then the doctor should merely say "sure, when would be a good time to do this?" Later regrets? Too fucking bad.
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
Quote
bell_flower
The group with the LOWEST regret rates? People who had no children. That's right, yet doctors routinely refuse to provide tubal ligations on people without children. They are ignoring the facts, and they should be taken to task for it.
There is a site started by someone who used to post on ASCF a lot (alt.support.childfree newsgroup) Her Own Woman IIRC, she had the ambition to act as sort of a referral site to doctors who didn't give people a lot of guff about sterilization. The site hasn't been updated in a few years so I suppose that fell to the wayside. Back in the day, you could post on ASCF asking about doctors in certain areas who were non-paternal or non-breederish in their views and usually get a reply. The fall back answer has always been "check Planned Parenthood". If they don't do snips or tubals there, that facility is usually a good place to get a referral.
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,223 |
Quote
bell_flower
"I will repeat myself: I wish folk would let up a bit on doctors. They are confronted by people who, at the moment, have made the decision to be child free, change their minds, and then rank on the doctors for going along with them. As many of us could say 'see? I told you so', there are another bunch who would say 'I'm glad I didn't go thru with it' or 'why did you let me do it?'. doctors are beset by both sides. I guess they figure, better to err on the side of caution: once a tubal ligation is done it is hard to undo. "
Not all doctors are bad, and my ire is selective. When I was looking for a tubal ligation, all I ever wanted was a doctor who considered facts* and my medical history before denying me a tubal ligation. Make no mistake, a tubal ligation is permanent, but it is also appropriate treatment in some cases.
* The CDC did a comprehensive study of tubal ligation regret rates. Who had the highest regret rates? Breeders. We've all seen the scenario: Too-fertile Bubbette meets Bubba. Because she can't figure out the birth control, she cranks out 3 or 4 kids in short order. They don't have any $ and their marriage sucks because they bred kids they can't afford. They hate each other and their lives. Because they already have too many kids they can't afford and their lives are already ruined by unplanned pregnancies, they have no trouble finding a doctor to sterilize Moo. By this time, it's too late for the marriage, so they get divorced. Moo gets child support and things aren't so bad. She loses a bunch of post-baybee weight and attracts a New Man. Suddenly, she MUST cement this new relationship with an anchor baybee. She is absolutely distraught at not being able to conceive, plus her New Mayn is insisting that she spawn for him.
And so another Internet Sob story of the horrors of tubal ligation is born.
I believe the second highest regret rate was the 30 and under crowd.
The group with the LOWEST regret rates? People who had no children. That's right, yet doctors routinely refuse to provide tubal ligations on people without children. They are ignoring the facts, and they should be taken to task for it.
I tried to find this study a few months ago. I found another study that said essentially the same thing, but the authors put a caveat into it: Use clips, which can be reversed but can cause complications like bleeding or failure, on any woman who gets a tubal ligation, because she could change her mind. Wrong conclusion, Daddy-Doctors.
There used to be a formula for sterilization in the 1950's and 1960's. It was well-known and taught in medical school. The formula went like this: get to the number 120, and a woman could be sterilized. In other words, if Bubbette was 30 with 4 kids, she could be sterilized. If a woman had two kids, she could be sterilized when she was 60. If she were CF, she could be sterilized when she was 120 years old.
Ironically, Margaret Sanger and the early feminists were responsible for dismantling this formula from medicine. That was when feminists were really feminists, and they wanted appropriate medical care for women. Contrast that with many feminists today, who don't give a shit about reproductive rights, which by definition includes the right not to have children at all.
"Reproductive rights" to most feminists today means the right to have publicly-funded IVF, even when you are poor and can't support the kids you already have, the right to whip out your norks anytime, anywhere, and the right to have the Gubmint pay for your daycare.
OH SO MUCH YES!!
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 5,275 |
Ironically, Margaret Sanger and the early feminists were responsible for dismantling this formula from medicine. That was when feminists were really feminists, and they wanted appropriate medical care for women. Contrast that with many feminists today, who don't give a shit about reproductive rights, which by definition includes the right not to have children at all.
Excellent point!
Excellent point!
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 27, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
this is the 3rd wave feminists.. (maybe 4th wave now).
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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii
Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.â€
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii
Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.â€
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
Anonymous User
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 27, 2009 |
I like doctors! I think they are swell. I understand that they want to caution people against a procedure the person might come to regret. I understand that if they feel the person might regret it, the doctor might not want to perform the procedure. But I wonder if IVF doctors ever caution people with "You might regret it"? Obviously they don't refuse to perform procedures - look at Octomom and all the ancient moos...
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 27, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
i always state with passion what i feel. i am content with who i am.. so making me change is to deny me my path, my happiness., no one can decide what makes you happy. its a deeply personal thing. Doctors generally have been indoctrinated into the current mind set, its not their fault. they are constrained by the medical authorities, to do what they are told..
so while doctors should have open minds, most dont because they are afraid of the truth..
*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii
Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.â€
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
so while doctors should have open minds, most dont because they are afraid of the truth..
*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii
Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."
H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.â€
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 27, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,852 |
Hmmm, I am going to consider my thoughts on 'lighten up'. I still lean in that direction.
The ones who have medical problems where a pregnancy would mean disaster should NOT have a problem with a tubal, hysterectomy (if needed) without being haranged by a doctor.
ALSO, and this probably factored into my thinking at the time although I wasn't aware of it, if contracts were ACTUALLY binding I would also say it should not matter for a doctor. Thing is, they can explain everything up front, the woman can sign forms in triplicate stating she understands the difficulty of reversal and they will STILL be successful in a lawsuit when it comes to whine time "waaah waaah, I REALLY didn't understAAAAND it would mean no more baaybeez".
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
The ones who have medical problems where a pregnancy would mean disaster should NOT have a problem with a tubal, hysterectomy (if needed) without being haranged by a doctor.
ALSO, and this probably factored into my thinking at the time although I wasn't aware of it, if contracts were ACTUALLY binding I would also say it should not matter for a doctor. Thing is, they can explain everything up front, the woman can sign forms in triplicate stating she understands the difficulty of reversal and they will STILL be successful in a lawsuit when it comes to whine time "waaah waaah, I REALLY didn't understAAAAND it would mean no more baaybeez".
two cents ¢¢
CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!
people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong
Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.
The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.
Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke
Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 28, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,207 |
There is a difference between being sued and getting a judgement against you. Unfortuantely, here in the U.S., find a skanky lawyer and anyone can sue someone for any stupid thing. However, a consent form prevents most of the problems. Not all, but most.
It's a man-woman thing I suspect. My first ex was snipped at age 27, no questions asked. I had one doctor for for years and kept asking her for a tubal ligation. After four years, and when I was getting sick of a diaphragm, I lost patience when I still got the "you'll change your mind." I insisted on signing the consent forms because I told her, look, for four years I've been telling you I want a tubal ligation. Were you not listening? Her dumbass nurse HAD to tell me the story of a friend of hers who married a snipped guy then changed her mind and badgered the dude for a vasectomy and was now Blissfully Happy as a childed person. What-ever. When I changed doctors, they "lost" my consent form.
My personal opinion is the average woman gets much more shit about being CF than the average man. Females get baybees shoved down their throats 24/7, at least I did.
It's a man-woman thing I suspect. My first ex was snipped at age 27, no questions asked. I had one doctor for for years and kept asking her for a tubal ligation. After four years, and when I was getting sick of a diaphragm, I lost patience when I still got the "you'll change your mind." I insisted on signing the consent forms because I told her, look, for four years I've been telling you I want a tubal ligation. Were you not listening? Her dumbass nurse HAD to tell me the story of a friend of hers who married a snipped guy then changed her mind and badgered the dude for a vasectomy and was now Blissfully Happy as a childed person. What-ever. When I changed doctors, they "lost" my consent form.
My personal opinion is the average woman gets much more shit about being CF than the average man. Females get baybees shoved down their throats 24/7, at least I did.
Anonymous User
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 28, 2009 |
My husband and I have been very lucky when it comes to our doctors. I was approved for Essure with very few questions asked, but we ultimately decided to go for vasectomy instead. Fewer possible complications and less expensive.
When he asked about scheduling a vasectomy from his new doctor during his first visit there, the doctor didn't bat an eye. We lucked out and got a childfree doctor who didn't try to bingo us. The only catch is that I have to sign a consent before they'll do the procedure. No problem there.
So, starting April 20, we'll be officially and completely childfree for the rest of our lives. Can't wait until we don't have to worry about any accidents.
When he asked about scheduling a vasectomy from his new doctor during his first visit there, the doctor didn't bat an eye. We lucked out and got a childfree doctor who didn't try to bingo us. The only catch is that I have to sign a consent before they'll do the procedure. No problem there.
So, starting April 20, we'll be officially and completely childfree for the rest of our lives. Can't wait until we don't have to worry about any accidents.
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 28, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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bell_flower
There is a difference between being sued and getting a judgement against you. Unfortuantely, here in the U.S., find a skanky lawyer and anyone can sue someone for any stupid thing. However, a consent form prevents most of the problems. Not all, but most.
It's a man-woman thing I suspect. My first ex was snipped at age 27, no questions asked. I had one doctor for for years and kept asking her for a tubal ligation. After four years, and when I was getting sick of a diaphragm, I lost patience when I still got the "you'll change your mind." I insisted on signing the consent forms because I told her, look, for four years I've been telling you I want a tubal ligation. Were you not listening? Her dumbass nurse HAD to tell me the story of a friend of hers who married a snipped guy then changed her mind and badgered the dude for a vasectomy and was now Blissfully Happy as a childed person. What-ever. When I changed doctors, they "lost" my consent form.
My personal opinion is the average woman gets much more shit about being CF than the average man. Females get baybees shoved down their throats 24/7, at least I did.
You may get lucky with a different doctor, but it is true that women get denied tubal ligation more often. I know a few men who got a snip, they were not hassled. It could not be just a co-incidence, it's just how it is. It is very wrong that women have their reproductive choices managed by others.
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Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 28, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,207 |
Thanks Techie. I forgot to mention in my original post that I was 36 years old at the time, quite old enough to know my own mind. I also had a medical condition (spinal stenosis) that made pregnancy a very bad idea.
I went to another doctor. She asked me to take the Pill first, and I knew it made me sick, but I tried again. After three days I couldn't stop vomiting and ended up in the hospital. She agreed to give me a tubal ligation after that. I might add, this woman was quite religious. She was one of 10 children, very Catholic family. But, much to her credit, she was a doctor first and a Breeder WannaBe later. Even though she desperately wanted a child, she understood that sterilization was the best choice for me. I wish more doctors were like her.
I went to another doctor. She asked me to take the Pill first, and I knew it made me sick, but I tried again. After three days I couldn't stop vomiting and ended up in the hospital. She agreed to give me a tubal ligation after that. I might add, this woman was quite religious. She was one of 10 children, very Catholic family. But, much to her credit, she was a doctor first and a Breeder WannaBe later. Even though she desperately wanted a child, she understood that sterilization was the best choice for me. I wish more doctors were like her.
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