Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 25, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
Shmonster
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 25, 2009 |
Shmonster
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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pompom
When I was in my early 20's I sought a tubal ligation but the doctor patted me on the head and said that I would change my mind. I didn't. I'm now in my early forties, happily married, and happily child free.
Anonymous User
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
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Shmonster
Pompon thank you for sharing. Actually the decision to have tubal ligation is exactly one of the things I want to discuss in my project! I think the type of reaction you got from the doctor is typical and I think that says a lot about our culture.
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,852 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,269 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,223 |
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twocents
I will repeat myself: I wish folk would let up a bit on doctors. They are confronted by people who, at the moment, have made the decision to be child free, change their minds, and then rank on the doctors for going along with them. As many of us could say 'see? I told you so', there are another bunch who would say 'I'm glad I didn't go thru with it' or 'why did you let me do it?'. doctors are beset by both sides. I guess they figure, better to err on the side of caution: once a tubal ligation is done it is hard to undo. Perhaps someday a more 'decision proof' method will be available.
Gigabyte
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
Gigabyte
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,207 |
Gigabyte
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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twocents
I will repeat myself: I wish folk would let up a bit on doctors. They are confronted by people who, at the moment, have made the decision to be child free, change their minds, and then rank on the doctors for going along with them. As many of us could say 'see? I told you so', there are another bunch who would say 'I'm glad I didn't go thru with it' or 'why did you let me do it?'. doctors are beset by both sides. I guess they figure, better to err on the side of caution: once a tubal ligation is done it is hard to undo. Perhaps someday a more 'decision proof' method will be available.
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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bell_flower
The group with the LOWEST regret rates? People who had no children. That's right, yet doctors routinely refuse to provide tubal ligations on people without children. They are ignoring the facts, and they should be taken to task for it.
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,223 |
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bell_flower
"I will repeat myself: I wish folk would let up a bit on doctors. They are confronted by people who, at the moment, have made the decision to be child free, change their minds, and then rank on the doctors for going along with them. As many of us could say 'see? I told you so', there are another bunch who would say 'I'm glad I didn't go thru with it' or 'why did you let me do it?'. doctors are beset by both sides. I guess they figure, better to err on the side of caution: once a tubal ligation is done it is hard to undo. "
Not all doctors are bad, and my ire is selective. When I was looking for a tubal ligation, all I ever wanted was a doctor who considered facts* and my medical history before denying me a tubal ligation. Make no mistake, a tubal ligation is permanent, but it is also appropriate treatment in some cases.
* The CDC did a comprehensive study of tubal ligation regret rates. Who had the highest regret rates? Breeders. We've all seen the scenario: Too-fertile Bubbette meets Bubba. Because she can't figure out the birth control, she cranks out 3 or 4 kids in short order. They don't have any $ and their marriage sucks because they bred kids they can't afford. They hate each other and their lives. Because they already have too many kids they can't afford and their lives are already ruined by unplanned pregnancies, they have no trouble finding a doctor to sterilize Moo. By this time, it's too late for the marriage, so they get divorced. Moo gets child support and things aren't so bad. She loses a bunch of post-baybee weight and attracts a New Man. Suddenly, she MUST cement this new relationship with an anchor baybee. She is absolutely distraught at not being able to conceive, plus her New Mayn is insisting that she spawn for him.
And so another Internet Sob story of the horrors of tubal ligation is born.
I believe the second highest regret rate was the 30 and under crowd.
The group with the LOWEST regret rates? People who had no children. That's right, yet doctors routinely refuse to provide tubal ligations on people without children. They are ignoring the facts, and they should be taken to task for it.
I tried to find this study a few months ago. I found another study that said essentially the same thing, but the authors put a caveat into it: Use clips, which can be reversed but can cause complications like bleeding or failure, on any woman who gets a tubal ligation, because she could change her mind. Wrong conclusion, Daddy-Doctors.
There used to be a formula for sterilization in the 1950's and 1960's. It was well-known and taught in medical school. The formula went like this: get to the number 120, and a woman could be sterilized. In other words, if Bubbette was 30 with 4 kids, she could be sterilized. If a woman had two kids, she could be sterilized when she was 60. If she were CF, she could be sterilized when she was 120 years old.
Ironically, Margaret Sanger and the early feminists were responsible for dismantling this formula from medicine. That was when feminists were really feminists, and they wanted appropriate medical care for women. Contrast that with many feminists today, who don't give a shit about reproductive rights, which by definition includes the right not to have children at all.
"Reproductive rights" to most feminists today means the right to have publicly-funded IVF, even when you are poor and can't support the kids you already have, the right to whip out your norks anytime, anywhere, and the right to have the Gubmint pay for your daycare.
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 26, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 5,275 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 27, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
Anonymous User
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 27, 2009 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 27, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 27, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,852 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 28, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,207 |
Anonymous User
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 28, 2009 |
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 28, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 3,454 |
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bell_flower
There is a difference between being sued and getting a judgement against you. Unfortuantely, here in the U.S., find a skanky lawyer and anyone can sue someone for any stupid thing. However, a consent form prevents most of the problems. Not all, but most.
It's a man-woman thing I suspect. My first ex was snipped at age 27, no questions asked. I had one doctor for for years and kept asking her for a tubal ligation. After four years, and when I was getting sick of a diaphragm, I lost patience when I still got the "you'll change your mind." I insisted on signing the consent forms because I told her, look, for four years I've been telling you I want a tubal ligation. Were you not listening? Her dumbass nurse HAD to tell me the story of a friend of hers who married a snipped guy then changed her mind and badgered the dude for a vasectomy and was now Blissfully Happy as a childed person. What-ever. When I changed doctors, they "lost" my consent form.
My personal opinion is the average woman gets much more shit about being CF than the average man. Females get baybees shoved down their throats 24/7, at least I did.
Re: Project about the pressure to have children March 28, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,207 |