Email Announcement - YARK!

I just received an email from an old friend. First, let me say that I don't associate much with her; we only communicate via emails. She and her husband sprogged two years ago, and the email goes something along the lines of this: "I'm not sure who knows & who doesn't but just wanted to tell you that I am 13 weeks pregnant. This was unplanned & I could guarantee that this will be my last pregnancy. The baby is due at the end of September."

First of all, when she sprogged two years ago, she had emailed me about how miserable she felt during that pignancy. After she sprogged, it got worse. The baaaybee won't let her sleep, she's so tiiiired because she has to cater to baaybee's every whim, and, "I don't think I ever want to go through this again." was one of her quotes. She had told me that her husband wanted a few more kids after the first one, but she really didn't want to go through it again... now here she is, two years later, pignant with number two.

Her husband makes pretty damned good money and she's a SAHM. While I know that she adores her first kid, which is fine, I kind of feel sorry for her in a very small, weird way. She could have secretly taken BC pills and loaf number two would not even have been happening, but here she is, back to being preg again, no doubt because of her dh's insistence. I know that secretly taking BC's would have been sneaky and deceitful, but at the same time, I think she could have also really insisted to her dh that a second kid was not an option. Then again, that could have been something that wasn't an option FOR HIM. In any case, she's in a lose-lose situation.

I am so glad that this will never be me. When dh and I were courting for about two months, I told him about my CF stance and he respected that. Then one day, we had the (gag) pleasure of hearing a screaming shitsack in a restaurant, where we were trying to enjoy a romantic dinner. That is when I really "came out" about my CF stance. Dh wholeheartedly agreed with me and is now as strongly CF as I. I even got him calling baybees "loaves" and "shitsacks" and we both are so happy that we'll never be in that situation.

So in short, I really don't feel all that sorry for my friend. She knew that her dude wanted kids and married him anyway. I think the main reason for her decision is the money factor and the fact that she wouldn't have to work. However, I think her dh urged her to continue working, so that's why she sprogged the first time. I'm just wondering if now that kid number one is a little older, her dh is starting to bug her about getting a job, so she kind of "allowed" this pignancy to happen. I have no idea, but all I do know is that she's going to be miserable again. She might even start to resent her dh because of it, but like they say... bed.made.lie.

I am all for being 'sneaky' and taking contraception if the husband insists on another loaf. Sad thing is the woman seems very dependent in a financial way so this would have been the better route rather than having a second kid.

I have a cousin who married for security and found the hard way how marrying for security is really the way to bring on the most insecurity. The husband insisted on a second baby, which was born with mental handicaps. The cousin was drinking. Rich doctor got tired of his wife and divorced her. Neither party was innocent in this matter. I do not talk much to this cousin because I felt she was sort of stuck up. She got a settlement and pretty much support for life. Is she happy? I doubt it.

My mother had a housekeeper back in the 80's who would come once a week to clean. She was from Mexican background. There were already two boys in that family. The husband wanted a daughter but the lady did not want a third child. My mother did advise the lady to take birth control pills on the sly. I do not know what happened as my mom did let the woman go since she was not going much. They were here legally. That is all I know since the man worked for the city.

Oh, I don't pity her at all. This is going to bite her in the ass big time.

Yep. You sell your soul and it generally turns out to be a truly Faustian bargin. Usually if a woman is a SAHM, the husband will want more than one loaf. My advice is to start taking BC after the loaf is born. Screw DH--he doesn't have to put up with the bullshit. As for the other two brats, well..Bed. Made. Lie.

Oh YAY for her! Sounds like the fun is just beginning.

Oh, am I dreading the emails that will inevitably follow within the next year or two... "I'm so siiiick because of my pragnancy." "I'm so tiiiiired all the time because of the pragnancy." Then, after pweshus awives, I'll hear all about how the little maggot is screaming incessantly all night long, disturbing moomie's precious sleep. Ack! I am dreading it. I will not commiserate with her; I've luckily never have been through all that shit, so I know I'll just probably say, "Oh, sorry to hear that; I really hope that after this, you'll find a way to use contraceptives or even have a tubal." Cold? Callous? Hey, she bitched enough with the first loaf, I'm over it and don't want to hear about this second loaf.

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maidentheusa
That is when I really "came out" about my CF stance. Dh wholeheartedly agreed with me and is now as strongly CF as I. I even got him calling baybees "loaves" and "shitsacks" and we both are so happy that we'll never be in that situation.

I laughed out loud when I read this! Anyway, being a little sneaky is better than having a lifetime of resentment. The husband has one loaf - he wouldn't have perished without the second one. This whole situation is a recipe for unhappiness....