CF Breeder Pleaser Gets a Bit of a Comeuppance?

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SlumSlut
I think this is where the term "Old Wives' Tale" must have originated from. People doing things that their mother or grandmother always did without bothering to ask what was the real reason for doing it that way.

I see this phenomenon operating in the way people deal with their cars. You used to have to pump the gas when you turned on the ignition and let the car "warm up" for 10 to 20 minutes; with modern cars, you don't have to do that, but people still think they have to anyway because "it's what my father always did when we were little".

My 70 year old father ALWAYS starts his 2008 Volkswagon up and lets it "warm up" for about 20 minutes before he drives it anywhere, summer or winter. So, it has nothing to do with the heater, although it too works instantaneously. My mother still refuses to put cooked food in the refrigerator until it cools down too, although it was discredited DECADES ago that not doing so would NOT cause botulism. My grandmother (90) SWEARS that it's unhealthy to eat after 6pm at night and that sleeping past 6-7am isn't "good" for you. My uncle (her son in law) worked 2nd and 3rd shifts for THIRTY years and my grandmother never let up on him about how unhealthy that was making him. Every single time that she saw him she would ask, "When are you going to be there long enough to get a "regular" shift?" It never occurred to her that he PREFERRED those shifts.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
My uncle (her son in law) worked 2nd and 3rd shifts for THIRTY years and my grandmother never let up on him about how unhealthy that was making him. Every single time that she saw him she would ask, "When are you going to be there long enough to get a "regular" shift?" It never occurred to her that he PREFERRED those shifts.

She never understood the Lark and Owl effect?

Dh and I were once on second shift: 4-12, and considered that the perfect schedule. We weren't social types so being at work in the evening was fine; staying up til one a.m. (giving time for the commute home) was manageable; we could sleep late. I can see where third shifts would be untenable, we both work that now and have probably shaved a few years off our lives because of what has been found to be a disruption of the body's circadian rhythm. For Owl-types, though, those hours work fine.

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Dorisan

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kidlesskim
My uncle (her son in law) worked 2nd and 3rd shifts for THIRTY years and my grandmother never let up on him about how unhealthy that was making him. Every single time that she saw him she would ask, "When are you going to be there long enough to get a "regular" shift?" It never occurred to her that he PREFERRED those shifts.

She never understood the Lark and Owl effect?

Dh and I were once on second shift: 4-12, and considered that the perfect schedule. We weren't social types so being at work in the evening was fine; staying up til one a.m. (giving time for the commute home) was manageable; we could sleep late. I can see where third shifts would be untenable, we both work that now and have probably shaved a few years off our lives because of what has been found to be a disruption of the body's circadian rhythm. For Owl-types, though, those hours work fine.

I agree and would like to add that a natural OWL who lives and works the "daytimer" schedule suffers from sleep deprivation, insomnia, inattention spans, exhaustion, and are generally not going to be as healthy and happy as they could be. My husband and I are both natural night timers who function in a daytimer world. However, since we now have our own business, I do EVERYTHING in my power to arrange his scheduling in a way that at least he can live some semblance of a nightimer life as much as possible. He can sleep through the phone ringing, but I can NOT. Since the area in which we live is LARGELY on a daytimer schedule and part of MY job is answering their calls and making the schedule, I have NO CHOICE but to be awakened nearly every fucking morning before the sun rises by these "first thing in the morning" people.

I am constantly awed by people who can wake up at 6AM and and even think to start dialing numbers to area businesses to ask every day questions that there is NO REASON that they need to know the answer before daybreak!!!!!. Although our hours are listed in all ads as 9-5, they STILL call at the crack of dawn. For me, 9AM is pretty damned early already, but to THESE people it's like sleeping half the day away to "open" at 9AM and they complain about it and make "you keep banker's hours" jokes too. Ours is the type of business that offers 24 EMERGENCY service, so I have no choice but to either answer or at least check the message right away. 99% of the time, it is NOT an "emergency", but rather they want a price or something equally as annoying that could have EASILY waited until later in the day.

As if THAT'S not enough, they ALL say, "can he get here FIRST THING IN THE MORNING?????". If he honored all of those requests, there wouldn't BE enough "first thing in the morning" times to accomodate them all. These people are milking cows and chopping tobacco at 4am and they think that 4pm is "early evening". It's MADDENING, but there's really no way to avoid it unless we lived in a big city, which we do not want to do. SO, I suppose that I will continue to be a night timer who lives in a daytimer world, but just make the best of it and sleep when I can!

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

KidlessKim: I'm a night owl, too and would be rather perturbed, if someone ringed me in 'first thing in the morning' before day break. I'd rather people not call until at least 10!

If you are a night owl, and can do some with some grace and patience, you are a better person than me.

---

lab mom

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kidlesskim
My 70 year old father ALWAYS starts his 2008 Volkswagon up and lets it "warm up" for about 20 minutes before he drives it anywhere, summer or winter. So, it has nothing to do with the heater, although it too works instantaneously. My mother still refuses to put cooked food in the refrigerator until it cools down too, although it was discredited DECADES ago that not doing so would NOT cause botulism. My grandmother (90) SWEARS that it's unhealthy to eat after 6pm at night and that sleeping past 6-7am isn't "good" for you. My uncle (her son in law) worked 2nd and 3rd shifts for THIRTY years and my grandmother never let up on him about how unhealthy that was making him. Every single time that she saw him she would ask, "When are you going to be there long enough to get a "regular" shift?" It never occurred to her that he PREFERRED those shifts.

I always used to go start the car in the morning, brush off the snow, and then have breakfast, but that was of course when it was well below zero and I didn't have anywhere to plug the car in at night. It made sense under the circumstances, but it would be silly to do it otherwise.

I've actually read that it is best to get food cooled as fast as possible to prevent the growth of bacteria. I do remember my parents left it out to cool, to use less electricity. I generally stick it in right away because I'm less likely to forget it that way. I don't think it makes that much difference, or everyone would be really clear on what is best.

Finally, on the night thing...I'm certainly a night person. My natural schedule is to go to sleep around one, and get up around 9 or 10. When I was younger it was even more pronounced--I liked to go to bed just before dawn. I have found that I can adapt to a daytime schedule provided I go the extreme route. If I get up at 5, so that I have a very quiet commute, and have the first few hours in the office more or less to myself, I'm fine. I just do not deal well with having to interact with people when I first wake up.

I find it hard to believe that being on any schedule that fits your natural body rhythms is 'unhealthy,' it's more likely to be that the women that they tested who worked on the night shift and had negative health effects (a) weren't night people to begin with, and (b) had shifting schedules. For some reason it is rare for someone to always get the night shift, instead of being switched every couple of weeks, which naturally messes up the body. Or, even if someone is left on the night shift, on the days off that person might have to switch to a day schedule in order to interact with businesses. Or maybe they are constantly having sleep interrupted because of noisy neighbors...at any rate, I don't think that the study was very conclusive on this.

My favorite job ever ran from 3 p.m. to 3 a.m., for a 4-day workweek. God I loved that setup. I work, study, draw, exercise best at night.

Melissa's gonna join one of our boards. Maybe not the Jihad-Lite that is Bratfree, but the next peg up.

"My husband's boys are driving me crazy. I thought I loved kids but I found I could only tolerate them for a few-hour stretches. The little beasts are hell on earth and I'm withholding sex until he sends them away. I was such a deluded twatmuffin - can you ever accept me?"

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Miss_Hannigan
Melissa's gonna join one of our boards. Maybe not the Jihad-Lite that is Bratfree, but the next peg up.

What's the next one up?

(It would be interesting to see a diagram of all the main sites, in terms of their hardcoreness. I just happened to find you, without really knowing anything about the level.)

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yurble
I find it hard to believe that being on any schedule that fits your natural body rhythms is 'unhealthy,' it's more likely to be that the women that they tested who worked on the night shift and had negative health effects (a) weren't night people to begin with, and (b) had shifting schedules. For some reason it is rare for someone to always get the night shift, instead of being switched every couple of weeks, which naturally messes up the body. Or, even if someone is left on the night shift, on the days off that person might have to switch to a day schedule in order to interact with businesses. Or maybe they are constantly having sleep interrupted because of noisy neighbors...at any rate, I don't think that the study was very conclusive on this.

Well, there's something about night shift, screwy melatonin settings caused by the confusion over the amount of natural light third shifters are exposed to vs the suppressant factors caused by fluorescent lights .... which can cause a dramatic shift in the chances of getting cancer ..... One can use "night shift+melatonin" in a google search to pull up 100s of hits. I just sum it up by saying "working thirds makes me feel like sh*t". I've had a large weight gain; a dramatic spike in my blood pressure sending me into a hypertensive stratosphere; anemia ... all since going to thirds (7pm to 6am) about 10 years back.

Heading into winter, the amount of natural light Dh and I will be exposed to during the week is zippo. Trying to get stuff done on our weekends means coming home from work on our first day off and staying awake for over 24 hours, being off three days, then switch back to night hours.

I'm a bit of an expert on the OTC sleep meds (tried Ambion - went on a 24hr chemical bender; Lunesta - that would come to $90/month out-of-pocket) simply because I can't sleep during the day. Hanging out on the sleep disorders message boards, that is the life that most of the people working full-time thirds lead. Even many people who consider themselves Owls. Being an Owl out of your own propensity is one thing - you can vary your hours by your own design. Being a scheduled Owl is something else.

The thing about not putting food in the refrigerator until it's cool already dates back to when people used ICE-BOXES. If you put warm food in the ice-box, it would melt the ice. This can be a concern even with modern refrigerators - if one were to put, say, a big pot of stock hot off the stove into the fridge, it would raise the ambient temperature inside the fridge... This is more of a concern when it comes to the FREEZER however. It's not a good idea to put warm food into a FREEZER because it can lower the ambient temperature briefly and cause freezer-burn to the items that are already in there.

While bacteria formation is a concern, it is not really as bad as people think. If you make, for example, a lasagna, and leave it in the oven or on the counter covered up until it's cool, and place it in clean serving dishes or storage containers, you're not gonna have a problem with the "bad" bacteria. However, if it's left out on the buffet or on the dinner table with people sticking their dirty fingers in it and what-not, then maybe the leftovers should be fed to animals instead.

Having said all this, I have saved leftover hams from some of the camping parties and easter breakfasts I've attended, put them in the freezer for a couple months, then made ham-and-pea soup, frozen that, and here I am still alive to tell the story. A lot of that bacteria-food-safety-warning is just manufacturers and service establishments trying to cover their ass against people's stupidity, or against when someone's three-year-old goes potty, wipes their ass with their hand, then comes back and takes food without telling anyone they didn't wash their hands.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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Dorisan
I'm a bit of an expert on the OTC sleep meds (tried Ambion - went on a 24hr chemical bender; Lunesta - that would come to $90/month out-of-pocket) simply because I can't sleep during the day. Hanging out on the sleep disorders message boards, that is the life that most of the people working full-time thirds lead. Even many people who consider themselves Owls. Being an Owl out of your own propensity is one thing - you can vary your hours by your own design. Being a scheduled Owl is something else.

Oh I agree. Being a forced owl for a daytimer is just as bad as being a forced daytimer if you are a natural night timer. The probable reason that even the owls don't do that well on third shift is because they are forced daytimers(by society) the rest of their non working hours. If they want a doctor's appointment, hair salon/nail appointment, get their car serviced, or even to shop retail other than Walmart, it just about HAS to be done 8AM-5PM, unless they live in a large 24/7 type of city. Even then most of the better places aren't open all night like medical and personal service places. Another thing that I have noticed is that most businesses open at night generally have higher prices. Night timers are penalized in nearly every way by society because it isn't "natural" to be up all night and to sleep all day.

:sam Oh, and on a helpful note for younger nightimers who live on a daytimer schedule who MIGHT need a little advice from an old pro: NEVER disclose to anyone that you are a natural night timer, ever. This will only HURT you because daytimers in general will NOT believe that this isn't something that you choose because they do NOT understand it. They will spend the rest of their natural lives offering up BINGOS which will frustrate you to no end. They will also be more inclined to call you earlier in the morning and plan events early in the day in a subconscious effort to FORCE you to get up and be there. They honestly believe that you should and CAN change, for your own good of course.

If they wake you up, act energized and refreshed and lie and say that you have been up and about for HOURS and it doesn't hurt to imply that at 9AM, they must have "slept in"! Daytimer zealots are notorious for ENJOYING waking us up because they know that the favor can't be returned. For example, if YOU called them at 3AM, then YOU are the one with the "problem" and it will not be tolerated. I know, because I have tried it and it FAILED miserably and was turned around on me and it made them WORSE! When you take their power away, the early calls will generally cease. They are often on a mission and it's fueled by passive aggressiveness, selfishness, and ignorance.

Once I convinced my father in law, an AWFUL "first thing in the morning person", that his son had "changed" and that I had ALWAYS been an early riser, he stopped calling at 7AM. It also helps to occasionally reinforce the lie, because in order for them to stop then it has to be believable. Call THEM right before you go to sleep at about 6AM, but of course you SAY that you just got up! I have done that in the past as well and it worked too. I have been battling day timers for my whole life and have lots of little tricks to get them off my back which do NOT include trying to sway them to my way of thinking or to trying to explain anything. LYING is the best policy, in this case.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Breeder-pleasers are traitors to the CF. I would cheerfully set breeder-pleasers on fire.

I have seen quite a few night-timers thinking that day-timers are faking it too. I used to be one of them. Something happened right around the time I turned 30-ish... when I got a paper-delivery-route that had me getting up at 3 am and being done by 7... ever since then I have found it easier to get up early than to stay up late.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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kidlesskim

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Dorisan
I'm a bit of an expert on the OTC sleep meds (tried Ambion - went on a 24hr chemical bender; Lunesta - that would come to $90/month out-of-pocket) simply because I can't sleep during the day. Hanging out on the sleep disorders message boards, that is the life that most of the people working full-time thirds lead. Even many people who consider themselves Owls. Being an Owl out of your own propensity is one thing - you can vary your hours by your own design. Being a scheduled Owl is something else.

Oh I agree. Being a forced owl for a daytimer is just as bad as being a forced daytimer if you are a natural night timer. The probable reason that even the owls don't do that well on third shift is because they are forced daytimers(by society) the rest of their non working hours. If they want a doctor's appointment, hair salon/nail appointment, get their car serviced, or even to shop retail other than Walmart, it just about HAS to be done 8AM-5PM, unless they live in a large 24/7 type of city. Even then most of the better places aren't open all night like medical and personal service places. Another thing that I have noticed is that most businesses open at night generally have higher prices. Night timers are penalized in nearly every way by society because it isn't "natural" to be up all night and to sleep all day.

:sam Oh, and on a helpful note for younger nightimers who live on a daytimer schedule who MIGHT need a little advice from an old pro: NEVER disclose to anyone that you are a natural night timer, ever. This will only HURT you because daytimers in general will NOT believe that this isn't something that you choose because they do NOT understand it. They will spend the rest of their natural lives offering up BINGOS which will frustrate you to no end. They will also be more inclined to call you earlier in the morning and plan events early in the day in a subconscious effort to FORCE you to get up and be there. They honestly believe that you should and CAN change, for your own good of course.

If they wake you up, act energized and refreshed and lie and say that you have been up and about for HOURS and it doesn't hurt to imply that at 9AM, they must have "slept in"! Daytimer zealots are notorious for ENJOYING waking us up because they know that the favor can't be returned. For example, if YOU called them at 3AM, then YOU are the one with the "problem" and it will not be tolerated. I know, because I have tried it and it FAILED miserably and was turned around on me and it made them WORSE! When you take their power away, the early calls will generally cease. They are often on a mission and it's fueled by passive aggressiveness, selfishness, and ignorance.

Once I convinced my father in law, an AWFUL "first thing in the morning person", that his son had "changed" and that I had ALWAYS been an early riser, he stopped calling at 7AM. It also helps to occasionally reinforce the lie, because in order for them to stop then it has to be believable. Call THEM right before you go to sleep at about 6AM, but of course you SAY that you just got up! I have done that in the past as well and it worked too. I have been battling day timers for my whole life and have lots of little tricks to get them off my back which do NOT include trying to sway them to my way of thinking or to trying to explain anything. LYING is the best policy, in this case.

I'm going to make it my strategy to "train" certain people not to call me early. I will first make sure that they can call me at other times of the day and then I will let them know that I cannot answer their calls if they call at certain times. If they call at these specific times, I will either ignore their calls or answer and ask if it's an emergency. If it isn't, I will repeat that I can't talk at certain times and hang up.

Your FIL sounds asshole-ish. I don't know what I would do in that situation.

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JayJay
I'm going to make it my strategy to "train" certain people not to call me early. I will first make sure that they can call me at other times of the day and then I will let them know that I cannot answer their calls if they call at certain times. If they call at these specific times, I will either ignore their calls or answer and ask if it's an emergency. If it isn't, I will repeat that I can't talk at certain times and hang up.

While it may work for you, that was my natural first strategy as well, but it didn't work. I can't comprehend being told ONCE by someone that a certain time of the day or night isn't a good time to call, but then continuing to ignore that and keep calling anyway. However, like I said, I tried that approach first as well (for YEARS) and learned that this request or demand doesn't work and here's a few reasons why, although a daytimer's reasons for waking us up are endless:


**I am referring to obnoxious daytimer zealots, NOT daytimers who mind their own business. I also acknowledge that there are obnoxious night timers as well. However, they are fewer in number because there are fewer nightimers in contrast to daytimers. Also, because nighttimers' sleep patterns are not socially accepted at large, they are less likely to be "out of the closet" and bother people at "odd" hours.

1))Most daytimers can't comprehend that someone really prefers night wakefulness over day, so they don't really believe you when you tell them no matter how many times or how many ways that you say it.

2)Most daytimers don't think that it's healthy or natural to be on those "weird" sleep patterns. Deep down, they honestly believe that if you would JUST GET UP(like when they call), then your body will somehow "reprogram" itself to a "normal" sleep pattern

3)Many daytimers think that they are doing you a favor by waking you up at a "normal" time because they think that you are "missing" something important in life at that particular moment. It could be watching a sunrise, hearing about something that just happened on the news, that there is a tornado watch in the area that might blow you away while you sleep, or that by knowing about cousin Agnes' death at 6AM rather than 10AM would make a substantial difference to you even though she isn't getting buried until next Tuesday. You just NEED to know these things AS they happen and all of that sleeping that you do can WAIT by God! Life is passing you by!

4)Most daytimers honestly believe that you are "sleeping your life away" because THEY are asleep when YOU are awake, but all that they see is that YOU ARE ALWAYS SLEEPING. It doesn't occur to them that if the hours were documented, that you likely actually sleep LESS than they do, but just at different times. Oh and it does no good to try and convince them of this either. They can't muster the imagination that someone else can actually be awake while they are sleeping.

5)Some daytimers are also bullies and they enjoy waking people up under the guise of, "It's after NOON, I didn't wake you did I?": As if they didn't know.

6)Since daytimers have tradition and majority societal opinion on their side, they feel superior to nightimers and confident that it's "okay" to reprimand them for something that isn't "normal", much like they do with the childfree, gay people, and any religion that isn't Christian.


Not answering their calls and/or hanging up on them might work in certain circumstances such as with a sales call or an acquaintance, but there will always be a family member, an otherwise good friend, and the occasional boss who will NOT get the message and who can cause you personal grief should you enlist these tactics. Oh and NEVER marry anyone who is the opposite of your sleep pattern!!!!! It is less likely to last than a May-December, a Christian-Non Christian, or a wealthy-wrong side of the RR tracks marriage. Like a breeder-cf hookup, a nighttimer-daytimer long term relationship is generally DOOMED. Although like with everything else, there are exceptions, it has been my experience that the two do NOT mix well, especially when taking a two week cruise togther when "early bird" and midnight buffets are "couple dining options".

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim

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JayJay
I'm going to make it my strategy to "train" certain people not to call me early. I will first make sure that they can call me at other times of the day and then I will let them know that I cannot answer their calls if they call at certain times. If they call at these specific times, I will either ignore their calls or answer and ask if it's an emergency. If it isn't, I will repeat that I can't talk at certain times and hang up.

While it may work for you, that was my natural first strategy as well, but it didn't work. I can't comprehend being told ONCE by someone that a certain time of the day or night isn't a good time to call, but then continuing to ignore that and keep calling anyway. However, like I said, I tried that approach first as well (for YEARS) and learned that this request or demand doesn't work and here's a few reasons why, although a daytimer's reasons for waking us up are endless:


**I am referring to obnoxious daytimer zealots, NOT daytimers who mind their own business. I also acknowledge that there are obnoxious night timers as well. However, they are fewer in number because there are fewer nightimers in contrast to daytimers. Also, because nighttimers' sleep patterns are not socially accepted at large, they are less likely to be "out of the closet" and bother people at "odd" hours.

1))Most daytimers can't comprehend that someone really prefers night wakefulness over day, so they don't really believe you when you tell them no matter how many times or how many ways that you say it.

2)Most daytimers don't think that it's healthy or natural to be on those "weird" sleep patterns. Deep down, they honestly believe that if you would JUST GET UP(like when they call), then your body will somehow "reprogram" itself to a "normal" sleep pattern

3)Many daytimers think that they are doing you a favor by waking you up at a "normal" time because they think that you are "missing" something important in life at that particular moment. It could be watching a sunrise, hearing about something that just happened on the news, that there is a tornado watch in the area that might blow you away while you sleep, or that by knowing about cousin Agnes' death at 6AM rather than 10AM would make a substantial difference to you even though she isn't getting buried until next Tuesday. You just NEED to know these things AS they happen and all of that sleeping that you do can WAIT by God! Life is passing you by!

4)Most daytimers honestly believe that you are "sleeping your life away" because THEY are asleep when YOU are awake, but all that they see is that YOU ARE ALWAYS SLEEPING. It doesn't occur to them that if the hours were documented, that you likely actually sleep LESS than they do, but just at different times. Oh and it does no good to try and convince them of this either. They can't muster the imagination that someone else can actually be awake while they are sleeping.

5)Some daytimers are also bullies and they enjoy waking people up under the guise of, "It's after NOON, I didn't wake you did I?": As if they didn't know.

6)Since daytimers have tradition and majority societal opinion on their side, they feel superior to nightimers and confident that it's "okay" to reprimand them for something that isn't "normal", much like they do with the childfree, gay people, and any religion that isn't Christian.


Not answering their calls and/or hanging up on them might work in certain circumstances such as with a sales call or an acquaintance, but there will always be a family member, an otherwise good friend, and the occasional boss who will NOT get the message and who can cause you personal grief should you enlist these tactics. Oh and NEVER marry anyone who is the opposite of your sleep pattern!!!!! It is less likely to last than a May-December, a Christian-Non Christian, or a wealthy-wrong side of the RR tracks marriage. Like a breeder-cf hookup, a nighttimer-daytimer long term relationship is generally DOOMED. Although like with everything else, there are exceptions, it has been my experience that the two do NOT mix well, especially when taking a two week cruise togther when "early bird" and midnight buffets are "couple dining options".

I love reading your advice. I can totally understand the boss and family member situation, but a friend who pulled that nonsense would not be my friend for very long because that is some crazy ass behavior. XD

Another night-timer here too. I just tend to be more "awake" late at night, get more creative ideas late at night, and generally feel better late at night. Of course, I get told all the time I need to get a life and that I'm lazy, etc. because I'm a night owl...I just hate getting up in the mornings. Even if I lie down and get eight hours or more of sleep, I am just not worth a fuck at ass o'clock in the morning. When I was in school this past summer, I had to be up usually around 8...I'd stay up until 3 or so in the morning because I just feel better at that hour. I was a total zombie the next day and chugging coffee like it was the last cup I'd ever have, but dammit, I'm a night person. My day may easily end when everyone else's day begins; personally, I think I'd do well on a later working shift...if I ever find employment in this godforsaken town.

But yeah, I can agree...don't tell people who have a daytime schedule that you're a night person. They will be assholes and go out of their way to disturb you when they know you'll be sleeping because they think you're being lazy. I tend to stay up late to do work, and people in this house will sometimes be pricks and wake me up just a few hours after I fall asleep because they feel I have slept "enough" since they've been up for a couple hours already.

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kidlesskim

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JayJay
I'm going to make it my strategy to "train" certain people not to call me early. I will first make sure that they can call me at other times of the day and then I will let them know that I cannot answer their calls if they call at certain times. If they call at these specific times, I will either ignore their calls or answer and ask if it's an emergency. If it isn't, I will repeat that I can't talk at certain times and hang up.

While it may work for you, that was my natural first strategy as well, but it didn't work. I can't comprehend being told ONCE by someone that a certain time of the day or night isn't a good time to call, but then continuing to ignore that and keep calling anyway. However, like I said, I tried that approach first as well (for YEARS) and learned that this request or demand doesn't work and here's a few reasons why, although a daytimer's reasons for waking us up are endless:

I just don't keep a phone in the bedroom. If they ring when I'm sleeping I won't hear it. Naturally this doesn't work if you have to answer the phone because of work, or want to be woken up for emergencies.

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kidlesskim
Not answering their calls and/or hanging up on them might work in certain circumstances such as with a sales call or an acquaintance, but there will always be a family member, an otherwise good friend, and the occasional boss who will NOT get the message and who can cause you personal grief should you enlist these tactics. Oh and NEVER marry anyone who is the opposite of your sleep pattern!!!!! It is less likely to last than a May-December, a Christian-Non Christian, or a wealthy-wrong side of the RR tracks marriage. Like a breeder-cf hookup, a nighttimer-daytimer long term relationship is generally DOOMED. Although like with everything else, there are exceptions, it has been my experience that the two do NOT mix well, especially when taking a two week cruise togther when "early bird" and midnight buffets are "couple dining options".

During a period when I had to be on a daytime schedule, things worked out just fine with my nighttime SO. Every morning when I was waking up, he'd bring me a cup of tea and we'd talk for about a half hour while I was getting up, and he was getting ready for bed. Then I'd tuck him in and leave for the day. He was just waking up when I got home. A few hours after that, I'd have dinner, which would be breakfast for him (but he'd eat dinner food along with me). He worked from home in the night after I went to bed (after first snuggling me for a bit). If it was necessary for him to do something during the day, he'd just stay up an hour or two longer and do it before bed.

It's not quite the scenario you described, in that we are both nighttimers, but I could see such a situation working out well enough between a daytimer and a nighttimer, so long as both have jobs which permit it.