1503 Bellaonline Post

Wow. Sucks to be her - how SAD. I cannot imagine being trapped like that. Having the best partner/husband/father in the world sometimes doesn't even help. WOW. I am so glad I never wanted kids and never gave in to the pressure to breed.

I'm glad that woman found the courage to post this. She may be fucked forever, but at least her story might help others to decide NOT to make the same mistake.

In a later post, she said she was going to *exploit her own mother* for free babysitting. Normally, I would not approve of such a thing, but guess what? If her moo was one of the ones who put pressure on her to have the brat in the first place, then she SHOULD get stuck taking care of it at least once in a while. You wanted it, YOU take care of it.

Still, the best course of action is to NOT listen to these people in the first place, and live your own life.

Exactly, catmommy9. I get a tremendous amount of pressure from my duh and moo-in law, and each and every single time I just ignore them. They are so full of shit.

---

lab mom

I couldn't get either one of the links to work. How were you guys able to read it?

Here's the address:
forums.bellaonline.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=22814866&an=0&page=8#Post22814866

You know what's even sadder than the OP?

The responses from all the women suggesting she is suffering from depression.

*We* know it's not depression because *we* have already visualized what our lives would be like with a child in tow.

But of course (insert eye roll) if you don't fall in love with your kid it HAS to be clinical depression.

That woman isn't clinically depressed. She's feeling what a person who shoots themselves in the foot normally feels like. She's fucked up her life and she KNOWS it.

guest Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Here's the address:
> forums.bellaonline.com/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=2
> 2814866&an=0&page=8#Post22814866

That doesn't work for me either. I've tried it 3 times now. It takes forever to load, and then it just doesn't load at all and my screen freezes up.

">http://forums.bellaonline.com/postlist.php?Cat=0&Board=182&page=8

Does that help?

---

lab mom

http://www.bellaonline.com
Then click on forums
Then scroll down to relationsihps and click on 'marriednokids.'
Then scroll down to #9 (bottom right cornor)
After that scroll down to: "Newbie with kid."

That may help.

---

lab mom

Ok, now that I'm at home, it is working fine. The link was not working from my office computer, and even the bellaonline.com site looked completely different from there.

It's refreshing to know that this woman now realizes how fracked she is. But, yeah, the breeders will blame it all on post-partum or whatever. Because how can you NOT lurve that holy almighty pwecious miwacoul?! This is just ONE of the reasons why I don't want to sprog: because there's no turning back if you change your mind.

You know when you hear of a kid or baby dying and you see the parents on tv/newspaper/whatever? Do you think some of them might be glad that they died? Not that they would do it themselves but the burden was too high? Sid and Nancy was one of my favorite movies. Sids girlfriend Nancy Spudkin(?) was a real hellion growing up. Her family was relieved when she died! The book is called:And I Don't Want To Live This Life.

I think so, too, sharonj. I don't think they were truely sad at all.

---

lab mom

I remember Nancy Spungeon. I read a book about her and Sid back in the late 80's. God...what a hellion! This is also proof that good parenting cannot stop a "bad seed". I have known people who were decent parents yet they had a child who was a "Nancy Spungeon". Nothing helps whether it be therapy, medication, or just plain smacking them around in frustration. If there are other kids in the family, they suffer from this ONE sibling.

During the 1980's when the press was focusing on the "throwaway" kids, I had to wonder how many of these teens were violently out-of-control in the house and the parents had no other choice but to put these kids out of the house. At the medical call center I worked in 2003, we answered for a shrink who dealt with such kids. Worn-out mothers would call how the six-year-old was chasing them around with knives. I could always hear the chaos in the background.

India, I agree that some kids are just plain BAD. I read some interesting things about the psysiological things that can be wrong in/with the brain that produces behavior that just can't be corrected. I also saw an A&E special about this.

My ex-husband's nephew has a severe chemical imbalance in the brain and has been a problem his whole life despite discipline. He stopped taking his meds and has been in jail and all sorts of trouble.

For those parents and kids, I truly feel bad, so long as there was nothing hereditary that was known about before the parents decided to spawn.

It is possible for parents to have two kids, raise them the same way, and one turns out fine but not the other. My parents had a son who was 6 years older than me (I was adopted). They raised us with the same rules, lots of attention, no babysitters, etc. My older brother was hyperactive and took medication for it. This was back in the 70's, so I'm not sure what kind. Anyway, I don't recall any problems until he hit puberty, and then he became sexually aggressive and violent. I remember that he was arrested for sexually assaulting a little girl in our neighborhood. He was 14 or 15 at the time. I was scared of him. He was killed by a drunk driver when he was 16 and I was 10. My parents were devastated, and they have not gotten over his death to this day. My father became deeply religious after my brother's death, and he once said something about maybe the death was some kind of "blessing in disguise" to try and make sense of it all. I, on the other hand, felt shock, then a sense of relief. I felt safer after he was gone. At that time, I thought that if it was a blessing in disguise, then it was to protect me and the other little girls in my neighborhood. Of course, that doesn't make any sense, because what Gawd would put a sexual predator on this earth. That was about the time that I stopped believing in Gawd, but that is another whole post. Anyway, the point is, that my parents raised both of us the same way, but only one of us turned violent for no apparent reason. The other point is that I felt relieved, more than sad, when my brother was killed.

And in case anyone is wondering: NO, I have never wanted to meet my biological parents. YES, I am pro-choice.

Grace that was interesting. Your brother sounded evil. It is good he was killed because usually people like that go on to commit bigger crimes. Sounds harsh, I know, but people like that scare the hell out of me. I wonder how the parents of the little girl he attacked felt when he died?

"Everytime I hear the word baby, I reach for my gun."
-Me

Sharon J.-

I think the parents of the girl my brother molested were probably relieved if they read/knew about his death. Maybe they believed that it was justice. I don't know. I think they moved to a different neighborhood soon after the attack.

I also recall that my brother used to torture and torment small animals. He started out with worms when he was about 9-11 and then went on to larger animals when he grew older. For example, he would take worms and pour Comet (a strong, grainy hand-cleanser that burned if you got it in your eyes) on them. Then he would cut them open and pour the Comet on their insides. He used to shoot at squirrels with a friend's BB gun, too, when he was a teenager. He told me that he shot a cat once, but I don't know if he really did. When I was in college, I took a Criminology course called Serial Murderers and Their Victims. One trait that serial murderers seem to have in common is that they started out torturing and killing small animals and then progressed to human beings. I have never told this to anyone before, but I believe that my brother was on this path, too, and that he would have continued and escalated his sexually violent behavior had he not been killed. At the time when he was killed, I was about 10 and I still believed in God and said my prayers. I remember thinking "God did this to protect me." I never told my parents or anyone else what I thought.

I really want to ask my parents "What was wrong with Harry?", "Did he really molest that little girl?", but I think they would feel like I was insulting his memory (speaking ill of the dead).

I am obviously biased, but I think my parents were good parents. They raised us both the same way and told us that they loved us both equally. When I told them that Harry would threaten me, my mother made sure that we were never alone together. I know they made Harry go to a psychiatrist (they went, too) to address his violent behavior and the sexual molestation (maybe it was court-ordered). So what on earth happened? I am inclined to speculate that he must have been abused (not sure how or by whom because my parents were very protective and didn't leave us with strangers so it seems impossible) in order to be inclined to abuse others. Maybe he was abused during the first 6 years, before I was adopted, or when I was too young to remember it? Maybe I will ask my parents some questions.

Grace

sometimes something goes wrong in the mind, its been shown that peopel with specific brain damage, their whole personalities change, from kind to evil.. sometimes parts of the brain isnt connected properly from birth due to genetic flaws..

sometimes it is nature, sometimes it is nurture. i know one lad, and he is on that route, he likes torturing cats, he stays home with his mother who is paranoid about germs, and stuff, he bites and kicks and scratches everyone, he isnt toilet trained he is 4, he has a LOVE of books, (yes he had a book and nearly sticky pages ewwww i know).. he loves fire, and he loves the post, (he is also just recently been discovered autistic).. he is a violent little boy. and i can easily see him as a serial arsonist/killer..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein