What Christmas songs do you hate the most?

Oh yeah, the Christmas specials. I liked Rudolph and Frosty when I was a kid too, but by the time I was 14 I realized they were crap, and yet my mom still insisted on watching them as a family. I abhor them to this day. I still like the Grinch cartoon and the Charlie Brown Christmas one, though. Side note: don't watch the Jim Carrey version of the Grinch. It sucked.

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gnocchi
ANYthing by Mariah Carey makes me want to punch someone in the head. Dumb attention whore (Beyonce's mentor in that regard, no doubt) who's sooo in love with that dog-summoning thing she does with her voice. Ugh!

I've never heard of "Christmas Shoes" until now, and hope I am never enlightened.

Along with cassia, I'd like to offer an alternative to traditional Xmas bilge...

Santa HO click the blue buttons



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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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thom_c

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gnocchi
ANYthing by Mariah Carey makes me want to punch someone in the head. Dumb attention whore (Beyonce's mentor in that regard, no doubt) who's sooo in love with that dog-summoning thing she does with her voice. Ugh!

I've never heard of "Christmas Shoes" until now, and hope I am never enlightened.

Along with cassia, I'd like to offer an alternative to traditional Xmas bilge...

Santa HO click the blue buttons

Joe Cartoon FTW! :yr

"Saint Dickless?!"

(Fun fact: I used to own one of those Super Fly toys!)

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I also hate that Santa Baby song with power of 10,000 suns. I hate women who use that high-pitched, breathless little girl voice, but this song would suck no matter who was singing it.

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gfsquirrel
I'm a sucker for the old-old Christmas songs (despite my deep suspicion of the day-to-day practice of organized religion). "Fairytale of New York", "I Believe in Father Christmas" by Greg Lake, and "Father Christmas" by the Kinks are my modern-day favorites.

I'm embarrassed to admit I come over all old-fashioned when it comes to Christmas -- fuck knows why. From the day after Thanksgiving until December 30th, I turn into a sick combination of Martha Stewart and a mid-Victorian Dowager Duchess. Every year I swear I will never do it again, but by 30 November I'm digging out the decorations and throwing fairy lights in the trees like a chipmunk on crystal meth. It's akin to demonic possession. I need help.

I don't go quite that far, but I do like baking, giving gifts to a few selected people, going to the Christmas market, and listening to some of the older Christmas songs (sung by competent singers) despite their religious themes. It's just a bit of nostalgia, and I see no reason not to pick what I like from the buffet and leave the rest. After all, I'm an atheist, so I don't give a fuck about leaving out the parts that don't appeal to me. Since I rarely shop in physical shops aside from groceries, I'm not overwhelmed with Christmas carols by the start of December.

I am with Zatoth: Eartha Kitt's Santa Baby is the only one. Madonna and Jessica Simpson sucked at breathy and sultry. I grew up to Andy Williams and still equate him to Christmas so I like his.

Loathe:

Wonderful Christmastime; but hate Lennon's Happy Xmas more. Everything I read paints him as a first class thunderdouche, even more so than "I married a model half my age and she got half of my shit, that whore" Sir Paul.

Do They Know...as Snarky says, they are Muslim. If the rich Brit musicians are feeling guilty they can send their largesse to them.

I own Bob Rivers' "Twisted Christmas"...classic shit! Though "The Rest Room Door Said Gentlemen" gets stuck in my head.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I invite all of you to come visit my store then. We play absolutely NO music or radio all the time. I might play some Christmas music on Christmas Eve, but that's only if I feel like it.

As for Christmas music I hate? Anything that has had so much jazz "improvisation" that I don't recognize the original melody even with the title as a hint.

Oh, I forgot to mention "Twelve days of Christmas" as one of my most hated XHell songs. :hardcore

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LucyTrainWreck
I think "Christmas Shoes" has to be the worst holiday song ever written. Has anyone heard Patton Oswalt deconstruct this peice of crap?

Yes! It's hilarious!

Another one here for "Last Christmas". Okay, so you're bitter that the object of your affection doesn't return the feelings. This makes an appropriate Christmas song how?

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Shiny
My number one hated song though, is probably Paul McCartney's "Wonderful Christmastime". If I could time travel and give his younger self a temporary concussion to prevent that atrocity from being produced, believe me, I would. Even worse, at work last year, our only Christmas music was provided by a CD with a whole 7 songs on it. Crappy cover versions. This was one of them, so we heard it around twenty times a day. It was the dearest ambition of nearly every wage slave in that building to find said disc, take it into the parking lot, and smash it into a million shiny pieces. If it returns this year, there will be a war.

I HATE Wonderful Christmastime. It has everything that annoys me in a song, and worse yet, it's one of the songs my work likes to play. Every. Other. Hour.

I'm glad I finally found out the name of this hideous song, it has all the acoustical subtlety of a wet fart.

Aw, no one like Paul or The Beatles?

I don't care about them, one way or the other Before my time. I will listen to some Beatles songs, on the radio in the car. Hey. They're not all bad.

I will agree WHOLE HEARTEDLY about that Wonderful Christmastime song however. OH GAWD!

This is how it strikes me - like this half assed thing he slapped together. How can something be so BLAH and yet SO ANNOYING! at the same time? From that angle - he has created some kind of cultural feat here.

You know what this song reminds me of? Like really cheap, low rent music, contracted for some kind of bad local TV advertisement.
Like background music for an ad from a used car dealer or wholesale furniture outlet.

Sim... Plee.....Hav.... Ing..... A Wonderful Christmas TIME!

Folks, here at Joe Yutz Hyundai - we SURE ARE! having a Wonderful Christmas Time and we want to pass our Good Cheer onto YOU!

Sim... Plee....Hav.....Ing.......A Wonderful Christmas TIME!


I too LOATHE! Most to all Holiday Songs - and this Fail! McCartney thing here - yeah - it reminds me of half assed advertising jingles. Ooooog! Spare me.

Last year we bitched about that song a lot, due to the damn repetitive loop playing. One coworker thought it'd be funny to send links to us all via text message. They went to a YouTube video of the song.

If you were wondering, she is not very well liked in our department at all.

I actually do like some Beatles though, just not that particular atrocity. It makes me feel sick, like I've eaten way too much cheap candy.

Argh...its two days before Halloween and Christmas songs are playing already?

:cen

Interestingly enough, I don't mind some Beatles songs. I also like the works of the other two Beatles better.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I hate most of them as others of said already anything by Mariah Carey just does my head in. And of course she happens to be a favourite of my mothers. So listening to it over and over when I was younger was just a nightmare.

At one point, I was working retail, and did 2+ years in a Christmas store. The vast majority of the time, we had to have Christmas music playing (the store manager would give us a brief break for a few weeks in the off-season/downtime). Worse than that? Most of the time it was one particular CD that had to be the same 10 songs in constant rotation. Why? Because we sold that particular CD as our "store mix" CD.

So yeah, I know all too well about Christmas music fatigue!

I don't hate too many Beatles songs, it just happens to be that one song, with it's awful echoy, tinny instrumental reverberations. Shiny said it best "It makes me feel sick, like I've eaten way too much cheap candy."

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evilchildlessbitch
I also hate that Santa Baby song with power of 10,000 suns. I hate women who use that high-pitched, breathless little girl voice, but this song would suck no matter who was singing it.

That was one of the songs on constant rotation in my former store. Think at least once every 80 minutes or so, all day long. Really sucked if you were working 8-10 hours.

Blue Christmas and the Peanuts Christmas song were also on that CD. Thankfully, I guess I've blocked most of the rest of the songs out of my memory.

After Christmas, after inventory, they would shut down for January and Feb. Then re-open with limited hours starting in March. We might be there 12-5 or so, to start getting new stock and whatnot. At that point, when there were few customers, we were allowed to bring in our own CDs to put on the stereo. But, it had to be only certain kinds of music; easy listening or light pop. Most I got away with was Billy Joel.

That was really the only time we didn't have Christmas music though. Customers were scant at that time of the year, and so rather torture us the entire year, I guess they decided to give us a break.

I should mention, we also had a large selection of nautical/beach type decor and ornaments, etc., since we were in a resort location. So, we really did have a large number of customers, even April-Sept., where you wouldn't normally think people would be into Christmas. We had a location right across the street from the beach though, so, really, tons of people in the summer.

The one I will always hate is "Joy to the World." When I was in third grade some little twat acted like she was better than me because I didn't know the words to it. That and the fact it's Christian really spoiled the song for me. The one I do love is Twelve Days of Christmas. It will always be fun to get a rise out of my husband by playing it in the car.

All of them but most of all is that "ring ding dingaling jing sing singaling" whatever horridness. My former doctor's office had that as hold music for about 6 months once with the sounds of people coughing and blowing their noses mixed in. It was HORRENDOUS!!! and it has forever made me cringe whenever I hear any format of that song.

Another one I hate is "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." Whenever that song comes on, I have a picture of a head of a moo kissing an old fat bearded guy to make him give her more gifts.

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nightfire
Another one I hate is "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." Whenever that song comes on, I have a picture of a head of a moo kissing an old fat bearded guy to make him give her more gifts.

Yeah but it is fun to change the lyrics to something filthy...which is easy to do.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

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Snark Shark

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navi8orgirl

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nightfire
Another one I hate is "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." Whenever that song comes on, I have a picture of a head of a moo kissing an old fat bearded guy to make him give her more gifts.

Yeah but it is fun to change the lyrics to something filthy...which is easy to do.

even easier in Jingle Bells. I turn it into JINGLE BALLS.

google "Police got my car" from Cheech and Chong

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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thom_c

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Snark Shark

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navi8orgirl

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nightfire
Another one I hate is "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." Whenever that song comes on, I have a picture of a head of a moo kissing an old fat bearded guy to make him give her more gifts.

Yeah but it is fun to change the lyrics to something filthy...which is easy to do.

even easier in Jingle Bells. I turn it into JINGLE BALLS.

google "Police got my car" from Cheech and Chong

Good one. "Rusty Chevrolet" is another one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."