Dealing with Toxic Family- a new idea

I was on Facebook in one of the CF pages and noticed how many shitty Christmas family stories had popped up. To be honest, among my friends, I can count on one hand how many of them actually had a decent Christmas with their families. So I got busy and decided to write down a new Code of Conduct for my own life, following one of my worst Christmas' on record.

This is fairly tongue-in-cheek but a good part of it comes from the heart and my thoughts and feelings regarding having to spend time with idiot family members. Feel free to add as you wish.

Seriously though for me, it's time to grow a spine and stop putting up with these people. It's my own fault for continuing to present myself at all these family gatherings. So having said all that, next year will be different.

And so, I give you my Code of Conduct.

THE FAMILIAL EXEMPTION ACT OF 2014

*This new law will go into effect on 1/1/2014 at 12:00am. *There is no penalty for early enlistees/enlistment.*
From 1/1/2014 and going forward, no longer will there be any expectations or forced togetherness with any family members.

This new law mostly pertains to (as followed):
-Easter
-Thanksgiving
-Christmas


In an ongoing effort to combat the assholes within and the cessation of Familial Asshole Code, the following procedures will be enacted:

-Priority will no longer be given to ANY family members during the times of Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas

-Priority will be given to anyone outside of the Familial Assholic Assembly! (like friends for example or one's own spouse/GF/BF etc)

-Schedules will be kept under secure maintenance to ensure that those out outside of the Family Assholic Assembly will be given first/top priority.

These new laws deem the stoppage of (in no specific order)

-Nosy, intrusive interrogation by the FA Assembly (*The only authorized persons under this act are paid professional attorneys and/or lawyers operating under the function of the legal system while working in court during a trial!) No one else is privy to any information that is not part of a court hearing.

-The pervasive, toxic, poisonous mindset perpetuated by parents and/or other relatives who live within the confines of their own denial. (*A persistent negative attitude is also covered within this law.)

-Rude, inappropriate commentary from people who have no clue what they’re talking about

-The right to leave, walk out of, hang up on and get away from anyone within the Family Assholic Assembly

-The right to have an opinion and make personal decisions that only have a bearing on you. (The Family Assholic Assembly does not get a vote.)

-The right to fight back when in the vicinity of the common American Shit-Stirrer. This creature exists solely for drama and to come out smelling like a rose, especially if it means the downfall of another person. (Most Family Assholic Assemblies have a few or more of this insidious blight on the human condition. An Anti-ASS vaccination is currently being developed. This new vaccine would prevent the diseases spread by the ASS.)

-An amendment for those who have relatives part of the Family Assholic Assembly and who have children. –This newly created amendment excepts the CF and others from having to participate in activities of, buy toys for or spend time with any of these ungrateful, entitled brats.

***Remember-the code word is a resounding “NO!” when having to deal with the confines of the Family Assholic Assembly. (No explanations are needed but if one is given, then the giver can make it as elaborate as they wish to without penalty.)
There are no fines and penalties meted out to those who wish a stress-free holiday time at any given part of the year. But you must also read the fine print and ensure that you know what you’re getting into, should you choose this course of action.
*Also important to note-you have every right in the world to start your own holiday traditions that do not include the members of the Family Assholic Assembly. In fact, it is highly encouraged!*

Hear, hear! :beer This is exactly why I've been avoiding the :BS famblee gatherings for the past two decades! Life is too short to deal with assholes comprised of similar DNA.

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

I really like this.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

Excellent advice! This should be made law. Yeah, it seems like Christmas was nothing but stressful for most of the people I know.

What I do is simple. I do like some of my extended family, but due to the insanity of my moo, spending holidays with them always goes sideways because of her. I stopped talking to her a long time ago.

So, I only see the extended family I like during the "off season." They understand. They've met my mother obviously, and they don't give me shit about not being there during the holidays. They have too much Catholic guilt to take a stand themselves, but they allow me mine without fuss.

My Christmas?

I had one a couple days early with a couple friends. Just a low-key thing -- talking, a present or two, a drink or two. Then, on actual Christmas day, my dad came over, we did presents, ate a Papa Murphys we got a couple days before, and had a coffee.

That's it. It was really nice.

My life has gotten infinitely easier since I laid down the law and refused drama access into my life. The people who respect me understand, and the people who don't... well, who gives a fuck? DNA connections don't entitle anyone to be an asshole.

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lilin_unite


My life has gotten infinitely easier since I laid down the law and refused drama access into my life. The people who respect me understand, and the people who don't... well, who gives a fuck? DNA connections don't entitle anyone to be an asshole.

I was talking about my sucky Christmas with other friends yesterday who had a similar issue and we all agreed that we wouldn't put up with such vile behavior from friends or else they wouldn't be friends for very long. I told them that when Easter comes and it's a nice day, meaning not raining, I am going on a photo shoot locally and anyone that was interested was welcome to come. (The people I was talking to are all artists and/or photographers.)

As long as local parks (which are free) are open on the holidays, I might just start doing that and then attending to my own dining (with friends or a peaceful dinner alone). New traditions are long overdue.

I am just fed up of every family holiday gathering consisting of me feeling like I'm on the witness stand while either mom or brother interrogate me. I'm finished and they are in for a major shock when I start to say no to their fucking gatherings.

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artchick62

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lilin_unite


My life has gotten infinitely easier since I laid down the law and refused drama access into my life. The people who respect me understand, and the people who don't... well, who gives a fuck? DNA connections don't entitle anyone to be an asshole.

I was talking about my sucky Christmas with other friends yesterday who had a similar issue and we all agreed that we wouldn't put up with such vile behavior from friends or else they wouldn't be friends for very long. I told them that when Easter comes and it's a nice day, meaning not raining, I am going on a photo shoot locally and anyone that was interested was welcome to come. (The people I was talking to are all artists and/or photographers.)

As long as local parks (which are free) are open on the holidays, I might just start doing that and then attending to my own dining (with friends or a peaceful dinner alone). New traditions are long overdue.

I am just fed up of every family holiday gathering consisting of me feeling like I'm on the witness stand while either mom or brother interrogate me. I'm finished and they are in for a major shock when I start to say no to their fucking gatherings.

Good for you on deciding to put your foot down and create new traditions for yourself on holidays. Some famblees just see holidays as the time to berate their famblee members and criticize them. I'm of the firm belief that people should only visit with their families if they actual enjoy spending time with them and feel loved and respected by them. If your famblee makes you feel the opposite of that, it's time to stop going to their gatherings. Very few people have the courage to do that, actually, and subject themselves to the drama every year. Congrats on realizing that like many things, this is a choice, and you can choose to walk away from things that make you feel bad.

To everyone who's removed drama-seeking missiles and human toxic clouds from your life: good on you! I am all in favor of people doing what makes them healthy & happy, and growing up under the same roof is not some sort of lifelong pass for assholery, nosiness, mooching, or any other dysfunction.

My general rule is that I don't put up with anything from family that I wouldn't tolerate from a friend or total stranger.

My own parents are totally decent folks. So are my siblings.

My in-laws are a variety pack of different kinds of dysfunction (even my husband agrees), so we do limit time spent with them.

I'm a big believer in family of choice. If your family doesn't get it, time to get out there and find family that does.

I think breeders only go to family gatherings to get presents for their brats. That's the only reason this stupid holiday tradition exists. They're just not enjoyable, these parties, unless you're a kid or a brainless moo comisserating with other owners of vaginabuttholes. At least 3 times a holiday party has ended with someone going to the ER, including myself after fighting with my asshole cousin and needing stitches. In short, party with friends, not family.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny