Club Juana

I have never really understood how anyone in a committed relationship would want to go to titty bars or Chippendales type clubs. I mean, if you are not happy with what you have at home, you should be working on that, rather than hanging out at strip clubs.

I remember when my ex-husband's sister got married. There was a bachelor party for the husband, which involved strip clubs. Ex-SIL didn;t like this, so she decided to have a bacherorlett party at some male strip club. I was invited to said party, but I refused to go, as I have no interest in such things. I thought it was stupid and disrespectful of the soon-to-be marriage. I fully expected my ex to refuse to attend the groom's bachelor party, as well.

Well, he saw nothing wrong with this, and he went. WHY do married and soon-to-be married people need this shit, anyway? You want other people rubbing their privates against you, stay single.

My ex did not have such a party thrown for him, nor did Catdaddy before I married him. I could not have married a guy who would allow some strange woman to rub her titties against him on the night before our wedding (or any time thereafter), and it did bother me that my ex probably did so at his BIL's bachelor party. Especially since I opted out of the male strip club party.

If single folks want to go to such clubs, okay. But I agree that it is an insult to a partner if married or otherwise committed people do so. They should be happy with what they have at home!

I am so glad I am not alone in this. I agree, it's desrespectful to the relationship for either partner to go to those places or parties. I've never understood bachelor/bachelorette parties. They say it's the one last night you are 'free'. I think if you think that way, then maybe you should not be getting married in the first place. It's like you think of getting married as going to prison, or summat.

Marriage is very political which is why many men act like they need that one last night of freedom aka a bl*w job from a stripper hired for the party. Men often only want to marry their girlfriends because they cannot stand the idea of her having sex with another man or for career success since married men are viewed as more stable. Women have taken on the attitude of going to a male strip club thinking they need to act the same way for "equality".

From wot I have heard, it used to be a bunch of men going out drinking, now it's evolved into this disgusting crap.

Once again, I totally agree with you both! (And with Catmommy!)

I wouldn't want a man who feels he's getting "trapped" by marrying me, and views our marriage as a prison.

And that "equality" stuff is such crap - the "male stripper loving" women lowering themselves to the "female stripper loving" men's level is NOT an improvement! As a matter of fact, it's just women getting used by men again - but for their money instead.

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. No one forces anyone to go to a strip club. Lots of folks go for a wide variety of reasons, not all of them are "I hate my home life", "My partner has become a hideous freak", or "I'm a sad sack loser who can't manage even a basic conversation". It's a more "honest" form of leering, lets say, than hanging out at the maul and staring at teen skanks, which I've seen plenty of "family" men do (ick!). Hell, the only thing that dictates money spendage on strippers is just general etiquette. If one doesn't want to spend anything, they don't have to.
Many people in long term relationships fantasize about people who are not their partners, many people enjoy porn without their partner's involvement and still manage to have a healthy and fufilling relatinships with their long term partner. It is indeed an unreasonable expectation to think that your partner, once they're with you, will never, ever look at or have a sexual thought about anyone else ever again.

You are right how people are going to want others even in the happiest relationship, Feh. That is why going outside for fulfillment or agreeing to an open marriage are not wrong in my mind. I would prefer a mate to discreetly have an affair rather than bring porn tapes home expecting me to smile as he watches them or tell me he is running late because of "fun" at Rachel's or the now-defunct Club Juana...or to ogle my friends.

I can tell you a person masturbating alone to a porn tape, or ogling strippers, is at far less risk of STD's than a person having a descreet sexual affair. Even if condoms are used, they could still contract genital warts or herpes, which could then be passed to their unsuspecting partner at home. While they aren't generally life threatening, genital warts can raise a woman's risk for cervical cancer, and herpes are just plain irritating.

I agree about that, Feh.

And when I was talking about strip clubs, I meant pathetic, desperate people who make fools of themselves there and can't get a sex life without resorting to that.

There is quite a stretch between having sexual thoughts about someone else (which is normal and reasonable) and acting on them.

India, I hope you don't mean that. An affair? Yeesh, that is such a disrespectful action on the part of the person doing that. I hate porn tapes, but at least he would not be actually screwing someone, even a stripper is a real woman right there in his face.

Maybe I'm not being too clear, I'm so tired, and need to go to bed. I don't condone strippers, OR affairs. I don't like porn, but at least it's a movie/paper, and not a person.

The men and women are quite real in porn. Many men can be very anti-gay/anti-woman but want their wives/girlfriends to watch two women getting it on or want them to see what "other" women do for men. A lot of women in the porn industry are exploited even though the wives/girlfriends will allow it in the house to keep the man from going with a "real" person.

some men can differentiate from film and reality, the problem is trying to explain men to women, its like trying to explain women to men, there are misunderstandings, and mis readings..

but somtimes men see the picture as just a picture.. not real, reality is different, reality is holding and caring and loving, pictures are a physical release, no deeper meaning, and before you shout, i said its hard to explain.. some men do forget whats ultimately real, and whats not, and they go after whats unreal, and are frequently disappointed. some men know that physical release can help, and we need a prompt to trigger it. thats what most men see porn mags etc are.. a trigger for self pleasure.. for lust, rather than real love..

this is what strippers pander to, male and female, the physical representation of what is unreal, thw fakeness of the feelings towards these people. reality means more, deeper understanding,

men are generally a more visual species, we need visual triggers more than women, women are more mental image. not to say one is better than the other.. just men and women see things differently.

physicality should be divorced from the greater reality, not that i am excusing what they do. but the pressure on women and men to follow the physicallity, rather than the spiritual reality is what causes more problems with divorces, husbands having affairs etc..

but in men we need images visuals to help.. focus the mind, thats why men usually draw things to explain.. it helps with the mental processes, women are usually good at explaining, there are exceptions. words are more their tools, i just created a bead loom, i tried to explain it, couldnt, but i showed a picture of it, and bang.. faust understod.

men are more visual, women are more verbal/mental. thats the main difference. this is written by a man, as a man. next time look around you u will see men are more likely to point, or draw, to describe.


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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Yes...we all have our opinions on this one. Like Feh says, we agree to disagree. I know I am opinionated. Ranting about brats & moos puts us more in agreement.