Babystalking at Hooters

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kidlesskim
I think his intent was rather obvious and in a way he even admitted it. He wanted the attention of the Hooters girls, plain and simple. It's quite funny to me how anyone could be SO naive' to think that ANY oohing and aahing or apparent special attention by ANY wait staff at any establishment is anything more than an attempt at soliciting a bigger tip. Do people REALLY think that restaurant staff give a SHIT about them, their stupid kids, or where they have been on vacation or what they plan to do after they leave the place? I dealt with that nonsense for five long years when I managed a restaurant because breeders sequestering their server often isn't good enough. A great number of them want the management in on their OH SO BORING kid stalking rituals too.

Yup, I think he dropped off his other kid and then had a flash of: "Is this what my life has become? I'm a SAHD and I have snot on my flannel shirt. I'm uncool, and I'm going to die someday." His ego blocked that thought, and translated it into a craving for fried pickles. Fried pickles at 11:00 are good, because the only place that serves them is sure to give him what he really wants: attention.

The service industry is always favored by the baby stalker, because it contains a captive audience which is motivated to make you happy. Men, of course, also prefer to baby stalk attractive women without children (the Hooters waitresses may have children, but you don't see them in that environment, so they are effectively without children).

If I were an evolutionary psychologist, I'd hypothesize that the man is hoping to demonstrate his virility, and the best target is a woman who isn't burdened with another male's offspring. That's why they target us, instead of women with children who might more logically be assumed to like children.

In short, Hooters seemed like the answer to his attention-whoring needs, and when it didn't pan out he decided to attribute it to his disruption of the delicate sexual balance (which he previously didn't think existed) and the shame of the patrons who were drinking. It couldn't have been due to anything he did, after all, because all he wanted was fried pickles.

Oh, and note to duh, if your daughter can't articulate a desire for fried pickles, at an age when you normally can't get them to shut up with what they want, chances are that only you wanted the 'fried pickles', or she's developmentally delayed and you should spend your time helping her instead of attention-whoring with her.

"I expected to walk into Hooters at 11 a.m. and have a bunch of bored waitresses fawning all over my daughter. We'd get attention and good laughs, maybe even a comped order of mozzarella sticks"

This guy thinks he's getting free food because he's got a kid with him??? That's really fucking entitled.

"My daughter was understandably mesmerized by the bright orange shorts and the ladies with hair extensions. She made entreaties to be noticed by some of the waitresses and she was rebuffed with extreme prejudice"

I wouldn't want sticky toadler hands all over MY hair OR the clothing I had to wear for eight hours either.

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yurble
Duh starts out by talking about how he goes to Hooters for the food and the service, not because the waitresses are scantily clad. He drones on about how they have a children's menu, and how his daughter should learn not to judge people by how they dress, and why he genuinely didn't see it as a problem to bring his two-year-old daughter to Hooters.

Right. Is there anyone who isn't aware that Hooters is not really a famblee place? It's a place that treats women as a commodity.

As his story evolves, it is clear that what he really wanted to do was babystalk. At Hooters.

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I expected to walk into Hooters at 11 a.m. and have a bunch of bored waitresses fawning all over my daughter. We'd get attention and good laughs, maybe even a comped order of mozzarella sticks, and my daughter would see how casually and normally Daddy interacts with women in tight tank tops.

They weren't welcomed warmly by the guys who were drinking there, or the waitresses who were dealing with their normal clients. At this point, it finally struck him that this was a bar "and forcing your kid on a group of adults who want to get drunk is a dick move, especially guys who want to get drunk at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday." Naturally, this didn't stop him from sitting down (although he did order it to go), even though "The next 10 minutes were some of the longest of my life."

Nobody was interested in being baby-stalked.

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Instead of being shown to our table we were hemmed in by a stony-faced phalanx of orange-and-white-clad servers who silently established a perimeter around us preventing entrance into the main dining room or access to a table by the bar, a well-endowed Praetorian Guard, protecting the sanctity of their establishment from the sticky-fingered cuteness of my 2-year-old. They looked at me like I was stupid for bringing my daughter to Hooters.

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My daughter was understandably mesmerized by the bright orange shorts and the ladies with hair extensions. She made entreaties to be noticed by some of the waitresses and she was rebuffed with extreme prejudice. Then she headed over to start gabbing at some of the guys at the bar, who did not seem to offer the smiles she is so used to receiving.

What lesson does he draw from all of this? "As cool and comfortable as I want my kids to be in a wide variety of situations, there are some joints that are a little too spicy for the young'uns." I'm sure someone could have told him that a long time ago, but I doubt he was listening any more than his audience is.

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Like me, you may want to be a cool and casual relaxed parent with cool, casual and relaxed kids, but how relaxed are your kids going to be when their earliest memories are strangers recoiling from them in shame and fear and annoyance? Part of what I want for my kids will come from trying to avoid weird and uncomfortable situations before they're ready. That means being a little more thoughtful about their feelings and other people's feelings. That means being thoughtful and considerate -- two things that were not a big part of my emotional vocabulary before I had children. It doesn't come naturally, but it's coming.

It's not coming along fast enough. He should have figured out how not to be an ass before he spawned.

he wants "Part of what I want for my kids will come from trying to avoid weird and uncomfortable situations before they're ready", but he takes his two year old into a bar/adult restaurant with the idea that some strange big breasted women are going to come talk to his daughter and hopefully give him free appetizers. Is it ever comfortable to bring your kid along when you are trolling for an easy score? I personally think it is weird to bring your daughter along when your goal is clearly to objectify women as sex objects while expecting a by product of your kid getting free food. He thinks having a kid in a place one step from a titty bar is "cool and comfortable". His entire expectation before the reality slaps him harshly in the face was he was going to be the kid friendly James Bond-bringing in his daughter while suavely bantering with the women who will fawn over his daughter and more importantly, him. His daughter even has this impression-apparently, the seeds have been planted-she tries to grab attention from total strangers in a bar.

And what sort of lessons are you implanting in your daughter when you take her to a place where women are not only seen as objects, but as the promotion of a bar?

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Snark Shark

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gymrat
What's with all his bullshit..."Teach my daughter this, teach my daughter that" She's fucking TWO! Like she even notices, at this age, what people are wearing, or knows to judge them! What an asshole.

uh-huh!

if he had any real BALLS, he'd just ADMIT he went to hooters to look at giant boobies!

he all but does, really-every other sentence has a comment about the waitress's boobs

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That means being thoughtful and considerate -- two things that were not a big part of my emotional vocabulary before I had children. It doesn't come naturally, but it's coming.

So of course some dumb biatch thought it would be a splendid idea to breed with this guy!!

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Comment full of win
Truer words were never written. We live in a Kindergarchy. Witness the sheer number of adult activities that people try to censor or ban for no other reason than they're "not appropriate for children too".

I'm not a child and don't wish to live an "appropriate for children" life.

wink

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Ketchup

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That means being thoughtful and considerate -- two things that were not a big part of my emotional vocabulary before I had children. It doesn't come naturally, but it's coming.

So of course some dumb biatch thought it would be a splendid idea to breed with this guy!!

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Comment full of win
Truer words were never written. We live in a Kindergarchy. Witness the sheer number of adult activities that people try to censor or ban for no other reason than they're "not appropriate for children too".

I'm not a child and don't wish to live an "appropriate for children" life.

wink

on the "thoughtful and considerate" comment:

being thoughtful and considerate is not something that is surgically implanted into a person upon having a child. you don't suddenly go from being a boorish and uncouth oaf to being a freakin' saint by spawning a child. you first have to have some sort of empathy-sociopaths needs not apply-and then you need to have an environment encouraging that empathy enough to act upon it in positive ways. being thoughtful and considerate does not mean you analyze your every move or your kids' every move in hopes of finding some philosophical zen or miracle in it-most thoughtful acts are done as a matter of course-you just do them as a habit. being thoughtful and considerate does not mean you expect reciprocation or reward. holding a door for some is thoughtful and considerate. doing a genuine act of kindness for no other reason than you want to make another person's day is thoughtful and considerate. attention whoring your child to get women to fawn over you in an adult restaurant is not "thoughtful and considerate"-it is selfish and actually pretty fucking disturbing. i would have snubbed this guy because a bar is no place for a child.

on the second comment:

when i was younger, there were things the adults did and there were things the kids did. adults do not throw temper tantrums in public, for example, adults go to bars and fancy restaurants and on the really big, dangerous rides at the amusement park. adults stay up late and eat at the big people's table at the family dinners. kids throw tantrums, play with toys, eat at the kiddie table, ride the kiddie rides and go to bed when the adults say "go to bed". to start doing adult things meant you reached a level of maturity-you could ride the "hell hole" and the scary dark rides because you were deemed mature enough to handle them-you were considered "grown up enough"! nothing as a kid felt more of an achievement than being allowed to do "grown up stuff". for some strange reason,. modern parents blur this line between "kids' stuff" and "grown up stuff" and rarely ever to a positive result. you have adults thinking it is okay to let kids pole dance, go into bars, ride the adult rides and play the adult games and eat where the adults eat, while parents themselves think it is totally okay for them to throw tantrums, demand things and act like a spoiled child, especially in public. it is totally unnatural. we are "domesticated"...

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yurble
Duh starts out by talking about how he goes to Hooters for the food and the service, not because the waitresses are scantily clad. He drones on about how they have a children's menu, and how his daughter should learn not to judge people by how they dress, and why he genuinely didn't see it as a problem to bring his two-year-old daughter to Hooters.

Right. Is there anyone who isn't aware that Hooters is not really a famblee place? It's a place that treats women as a commodity.

As his story evolves, it is clear that what he really wanted to do was babystalk. At Hooters.

Quote

I expected to walk into Hooters at 11 a.m. and have a bunch of bored waitresses fawning all over my daughter. We'd get attention and good laughs, maybe even a comped order of mozzarella sticks, and my daughter would see how casually and normally Daddy interacts with women in tight tank tops.

They weren't welcomed warmly by the guys who were drinking there, or the waitresses who were dealing with their normal clients. At this point, it finally struck him that this was a bar "and forcing your kid on a group of adults who want to get drunk is a dick move, especially guys who want to get drunk at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday." Naturally, this didn't stop him from sitting down (although he did order it to go), even though "The next 10 minutes were some of the longest of my life."

Nobody was interested in being baby-stalked.

Quote

Instead of being shown to our table we were hemmed in by a stony-faced phalanx of orange-and-white-clad servers who silently established a perimeter around us preventing entrance into the main dining room or access to a table by the bar, a well-endowed Praetorian Guard, protecting the sanctity of their establishment from the sticky-fingered cuteness of my 2-year-old. They looked at me like I was stupid for bringing my daughter to Hooters.

Quote

My daughter was understandably mesmerized by the bright orange shorts and the ladies with hair extensions. She made entreaties to be noticed by some of the waitresses and she was rebuffed with extreme prejudice. Then she headed over to start gabbing at some of the guys at the bar, who did not seem to offer the smiles she is so used to receiving.

What lesson does he draw from all of this? "As cool and comfortable as I want my kids to be in a wide variety of situations, there are some joints that are a little too spicy for the young'uns." I'm sure someone could have told him that a long time ago, but I doubt he was listening any more than his audience is.

Quote

Like me, you may want to be a cool and casual relaxed parent with cool, casual and relaxed kids, but how relaxed are your kids going to be when their earliest memories are strangers recoiling from them in shame and fear and annoyance? Part of what I want for my kids will come from trying to avoid weird and uncomfortable situations before they're ready. That means being a little more thoughtful about their feelings and other people's feelings. That means being thoughtful and considerate -- two things that were not a big part of my emotional vocabulary before I had children. It doesn't come naturally, but it's coming.

It's not coming along fast enough. He should have figured out how not to be an ass before he spawned.

He was expecting free food? I guess he makes too much money to get Food Stamps so he decided to use his kid to get free food another way.

I read an article about a restaurant called Twin Peaks that is supposedly similar to Hooters. I wonder if he'd bring he'd daughter there and/or if she'd be welcomed and he'd get free food.

http://www.twinpeaksrestaurant.com/

JD

I think people should bring their loaves to strip clubs that feature lactating dancers (this udder spray dancing does happen). You hand the crotchling over to the stripper who will pole dance while breastfeeding it. The charge for the drink goes on your bill and the stripper moo gets an extra tip. The baybee becomes part of the act and therefore a star for the evening.

some other comments:

"Why not?
I would bring my kids to drug deals. How else are they going to learn?"

"Oh, for god's sake!
Seriously, Salon? You actually published this nonsense written by an eloquent dullard? Next time let him go to therapy if he needs to rid himself of his guilt."

larious